Why did it take me coming to this place to realize that my life is to glorify Him in all that I do? Why now am I a more faithful wittness to my Lord Jesus Christ then I ever was at home? Why now am I becoming more dependant on Him than on myself? Why, why, why?
I came here because I believe that he has called me here. I prayed His will in my life when I was looking for work and this is the work that came to me. I did all of the right things and now I sit and wonder why I didn't allow Him to work in and through me in this way when I was home. Was it my comfort or my arrogance? Did I not need Him as much? Did I just not want Him to change me in such ways?
Frank didn'rt want me to come here. He expressed that I should not have left my family, for I was the head of the household, the kids need me. He was right! the reason he stated I should not go is what brings me the greatest pain. However, it is also what makes me rely on Him even more.
I have no other way of relief but prayer, but prayer works. In my desperate times it sees me through. It allows the Holy Spirit to bring me a verse, a spoken peice of Gods word. It brings me comfort and changes my thought.
If I were home, I would allow my disciomfort to be filled in other ways. If I were home I would not have to dig for strength, I would not have to reach for Him. If I were home my life would be easy so therefore I would not need Him so readily.
It took me coming to this place to strip me of the things that kept me from Him. It took me coming to this place to strip me of the dependance on the things of this world that kept me from Him. It took me coming to this place to begin to love Him like He loves me.
Why?
First time in Afghanistan as a civilian contractor under a one year contract. I have been brought here by God and intend to speak the Gospel of Christ however I can.
I recall The END of My Costa Rica TREK, which marked a
ReplyDeleteturning point, penniless, bag stolen, ATM card not working in
'their' networks, good guys & bad ones, watching, strung
out like a close line... Seemingly No Lower to go, when
I Said; 'Yuk',... Picked Myself Up, Walked & Walked &
Walked and then Walked Some More, WITH a Smile & Glee
to The Air Plane. Left That Behind, but I knew, I
could Not Have Left IT Behind,
IF I Had Not Been There.
"[...] From The Red Wood Forest,
To The Gulf Stream Waters.
This Land Was Made For You & Me."