Movie Night

Last night was DynCorp Camp Shindand first movie night. The IT guys were finally got their projector in and the side of the twenty foot Finance Conex made the perfect screen. They piggy backed in a going away party for Walley as he is being temporarily being assigned to another Camp for a short project.

The set up was very nice. The carpenters put together several benches for everyone to sit on. The picnic tables were set in the back for the food, hot dogs, hamburgers and chicken. BBQ Grill of to the back so it wasn't in the way. The guys even hooked up three complete speaker systems to give the surround sound feel that you would get back home. As Walley said, "this is a good set up."

The evening started with the BBQ and shortly into it the Base Command showed up, not to be a hinderance but to come enjoy some time with us. Here was The Full Bird Colonel, The Lt. Colonel and their enterage, spending time with all of us. Now I know these men from being here for so long and working from one time or another with them, but many of the guys don't, so it was nice to see them conversing with various people.

I started taking pictures of everyone, kinda portrait style, yes even the Colonels and other Military as I love to have the close ups of the faces. What I realized as I did this is that these are the peopel that have been my around me for a year. This was my community, my circle of life that in one way or another I shared something with, a part of me. Then I put it in a bigger perspective, these are the people that my life as a Christian can and did impact. For better or worse these were the people that I wittnessed to in my life while I was here.

Sitting now and writing about it, thinking of there faces, I can imagine the opportunities that God gave me to be used by Him, to speak His name. I also thought about all the times that I probably didn't say anything. The point is that in my camera and over this past year, were the people that the Lord would have me be a light to. That I have documented all the potential Disciples, all the sown seeds, all the opportunities seized and even those lost from this past year. Those potos will forever be a reminder of who I am in Jesus Christ.

So as the son set, The purpose of the Military visit became apperent. they had come bnot only to have some food, byut to Honor the Camp Management and paticularly Walley, for their contributions to the building of Shindand Air Base. I got chocked up at he speaches of each Officer as they included the work of all that were there in the support of the troops. It was very nice, and for me, I realized also that in some way my time here made a difference to the soldiers that defend my rights as an American, and defend the right of all who have come to this Camp in that support.

So with the formalities of the Certificates and hand shakes given, over. It was time for the movie. The Mechanic was the movie of choice. Good pick in my opinion as it was full of action which spans the gap of cultures better then a comedy. the seats and standing room only filled up and for the next hour and a half we sat out under the stars and watched a movie together as a community. I thought back to themovie nights that I had in the tent with the DFAC waorkers, hudled around a small computer screen, and now this. Incredible!

I think as my time draws to a close here I am going through some additional emotions, seeing things in a different way. This is good as I am reflecting on everything that I have done in this year. The ups and downs, hardships and joys. In everything there is a season, and I am seeing all of them I think.

Lord, keep watch over all who are within this Camp. It is truly community as is any other, diverse and unique. These are all your children and I thank you for the opportunities that I have had and the ones that are yet to come. Watch over my family and all who read this today.

Amen.

Pitty Party Anyone

Third start this morning! Not sure if I am just worn out from all of this writing everyday or if I am just so focussed on going home that I am not hearing correctly from the Holy Spirit, not being lead as I was. I even wonder sometimes how many people actually read the Blog, or at least look forward to reading it. It has been a way for me to communicate, to document and to give something to all that are out their from my experience here. But I wonder how many times someone is now thinking, "boy, that was interesting, or even good" or do they say " just Mike with the same old stuff.

Don't mind me today, I alomost think I am having a pitty party for myself. I got beat up a little by my own actions / mind and I am wrestling through the thoughts as we speak. Is that ok to do? Have a pitty party that is, is that ok? I think it is but it is strange that when that happens there is alomost a feeling that I am eternally seperated from God. Our minds can be terrible places, where satan just loves to try to play. The good thing is that I know that the alone feeling is not true. I also know that I have not lost my salvation, I am just be convicted which is grand.

The thing that gets me though is that you can have a feeling or feelings that you have gone so far backwards in one shot. You in essence forget the path that you have taken and all the things that you have come through, and grown through and you throw yourself back to the beginning. This in a factual sense is not true, he never leaves us or forsakes us, we are His heirs and we have inhereted the Kingdom through Jesus Christ and most importantly is His grace and forgivness based on His Love. It is our minds, my mind that twist this truth.

The wrestling is the Spirit yellig at me to stop being stupid. Yes I may have moved into the wrong state but the Spirit is the one who is battling the flesh and the world, I just get caught up in that fight. That is the battle in my mind once reason takes back over. Don't dismiss what is happening here. We must facilitate the battle in a way, help out and preapare for it but the battle is not all ours, it is the Spirit within that really takes the lead.

As I work this out today, ultimately in some way I will have gained ground. Nothing given to Him will not see His reward so if anything else I will have grown, maybe somone else will have gotten something from this. Maybe at some point today or in the future I will be able to relate better to somone elses situation. In the end I know this all matters for Him and therfore it is good, while it is happening it sticks.

In conclusion, stuff happens. Know the truths that God has placed before you in His word so that you can use them as anchors as you need them. Realize that we are not perfect and a pitty party may occur but it does not mean that you have to go back to the start or that you have lost any ground, only that you are taking new griound in a tough way. He is there and trust that, always.

Lord, just use this day for your glory. If I am having trouble doing so then I know that you will take it from me and use it. Thank you that you can love me when I am having trouble doing it. That you will keep walking along with me even when I am just looking at my feet. Also thank you that when I can not fight, the Spirit fights for me, thank God! In your name I pray Amen.

Another Change, Another Attack!

Change just throws me off, or at least allows for satan to slip his greasey little fingers into my life and attempt to strri me up. Today, we have moved into our new (old GP medium tent) offices in the back of the Trades Yard. Right after I got my morning reading done, and talked to Catherine, the ache in my stomach started and has lasted now for four hours without ceasing.

Now I am not really upset, and it certainly will not hinder me in what I have to do but it is uncomfortable in a physical sense. On the spiritaul sense it is just perfect for me becasue it will drive me closer to the Lord. I set to the battle, and that keeps me more focussed on Him then I can muster in a normal day. Like a rock in your shoe when you don't have time to stop and get it out, it just nags you. That is what this is, satan nagging, but me continuing in the direction I should be walking.

The new tent will mean that I will again be right in the action with my guys. Direct contact throughout the day and with that is the opportunities that are afforded my wittness. In my room, I was disconnected and therefore had less opportunity. That is why I probably felt in a lull in my wittnessing with the men and those around me. I had, by lack of desk space in an office, placed myself in a box, litterally. In a box there is no light or people to see it.

So as I said above, I anticipate that satan is worried and again coming at me. New offices, connected again with the men, opportunity to wittness, seeking closeness with the Lord, all the ingrediants that he would not want to have come together. So I fight, prayer, as Robert says "kicking satan to the bottom of the pit of the Red Sea, where the chariots of Paraoh lay." I love that one of his. Says it with such authority also. Anyway, fight, and fight back hard.

I know this may sound silly to some, hopefully not to the Christians out there, but this is a trial that adds to my perseverance. See, I like the attack as I know that I can turn it into a deeper walk. I keep my perspective that way, so I don't get scared and turn. As I fight it however the catalyst is then removed, which makes me then be able to stand down a bit, but what happens is that I get better at dealing with all situations that may arrise, I am stronger and therefore free'r from this world. That is why I look for this to happen to me, to strengthen my faith.

We dont have to be victoms as Christians, we don't have to look at these things of the world, the events or the changes as negatives. God works all things to the god for those who love Him. His power, working on our behalf, in these situations, in any situation will get us through anything. Don't bow your hed in defeat and question why you are being attacked, stand with Jesus at your back and fight.

All authority has be given to us, we should use it. Trust the word of the Lord and what He has given you. The next time that you get wrapped up in something, try smaking satan inthe face and then kicking him. Also, like the strong soldier that you are,stand up with honor and glory and be proud that you trusted the word and conquered what was wrong. It works. I will strengthen you. It will increase your confidnce in the authority of the word and it will bring you closer to the Lord.

I will mak e the best of the new tent, the new office and the interatction that will come from them. I don't know where it will lead but I hope that I can be ready for what comes, looking up to Him and being available. If I am not looking up then then satan will have won, and none of us want that.

Lord Jesus, I know you have my back. I became your soldier the day that I accepted your free gift of grace. I understand and trust the authority that you have given me. You don't promise that I won't have to fight, only that I will always win if I do. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Is It Really Still sixty Days?

I am getting so ready to come home at this point it is not even funny. It is still sixty days or so away but none the less it is on my mind very frequently.

The other day I cleaned out one of my foot lockers and put away anything that I didn't think I would use between now and then, and that I felt I need to save. For the most part I filled it with my books, and items that have sentimental value to me that I gathered here. Most of the other things that are left out at this point I believe are not going to make it out of Afghanistn, at least by my hand. Except for what I need to travel, everything else will be given away.

As I am writing this I am thinking I should save this for another time, maybe a feww weeks before I leave here. But it is what is on my mind so I continue. The sad thing is that in my mind I am saying to myself, "Plan for nothing because tomorrow will take care of itself. God will take care of this stuff and He may even determine a change of plans, you never know. So, Mike, just wait." Well I guess this is the human side of me sneaking out a bit. Maybe alot. Being anxious for nothing! Easier said then done especially when it is concerning returning to your loved ones.

Hey, by the way, my Boss got let go. I feel bad for him because he really loved this work. This is basically what he has done for thirty years, either with the Military or as a civilian. The official word was that his contract was not renewed, so he will return to the States now. They will place one of my collegues into the position at this point because I have announced that I will be leaving in two months. This is perfectly fine as I am here for a different purpose then a carreer.

With the above it is funny how things work. I don't want to say this in a bad way because that is not the intenet, but several times I heard my Boss tell me that the people that get sent home are because they were not doing the right thing. That even sometimes he would make a real personal point of pointing out that people that I would help on a Company level were sent home with statements like, "see, another one of your little friends is being sent home. You wanted to help them and now look." I know that my boss tried to do the best he could, but there were areas where we disagreed, some that I thought were wrong, and now he is home.

Anyway, Things are changing a bit and if you have followed this blog then you know that change brings its own challenges. I am in alot better place now to handle them then before so I don't think it will be so bad. I even think that I can have some fun again and get this place back to where it was before I left on R&R, before I leave for good. This does not mean that it will stay that way but I can give it my best efforts.

Be well. Trust God, in everything, and live as Jesus Christ showed you, to the best of your ability.

Matthew 23:15

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrates! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are."

Matthew23:15

Harsh words. Yes! Accurate even today, I believe so.

I heard somone say once that Christians are the only people who shoot their own wounded. That if you show weakness, or sin, or something contrary to what the rest of the congregation sees as appropriate, you are done. There is no room for grace and forgivness for those that are already saved, that is only reserved for the lost.

It is a shame that undoe restraint or conditions are place d on time of fellowship, small groups or discipleship. Constraint that are not in anyway reflective of what Christ did for us. Constraints based on one persons or a few peoples notion of what would be best but when you look at it it is not. In fact sometimes it can be as above, Pharsitical and damaging.

Now I don't want to infer that Christians are going to hell by this. Note, the Christians that do go to hell weren't really christians to begin with. What I am saying is that we must keep the proper perspective on the rules and obligations that we place on people when they come to the church, or you, to find and live in Jesus Christ. Above the Pharisees are winning people to their faith but then burdening them with restrictions and laws. Kinda of like saying come to me you poor child so that I may beat you. The church, us Christains must be consist in love and grace and forgivness through all cercumstances.

The purpose that Jesus sent us out with was simple. Go and make Disciples. Find the lost and bring them to Him. Have them grow in Him, mature and then they go and do the same. When it became about attendance, or knowledge, or works or anything else I don't know, but it is wrong.

If you are a leader in the name of Jesus Christ, your arms must be as wide open as his were. You must accept the lost, suffering, troubled, sick, busy, whatevers of this world in the same way as Jesus did. Unconditionally and with love. If you are not doing then that then read the above scripture again and then sit and reflect on what you can do better.

He forgave you, you should do the same for others.

Lord, open all of our hearts and let us see the hidden wickedness that my lie within. Allow us to change and move closer to your goodness, your forgivness, and your grace. We are only to lead to you as lights on a path. The work is yours. Amen.

Step

This is about the fifth start to this blog today. It is just one of those days where several thoughts have come to me buut then as I start to write they just don't seem to go anywhere. You may be thinking in your head that that is what happens alot in your Blogs Mike but that is not my point. I just have been getting to a point where I stop and draw a blank and then start to re read the text. Once that happens I just kinda freeze up and then have scrapped what I have written.

Any Christian that is reading this at this time, ask yourself when the last time you shared your faith with someone? When was the last time that you invited someone to church or your small group? The men's group? Ask yourself why. Is it fear? Did you just now shrug your shoulders and have no answer? it could be that you don't think that they are interested. But is that your descsions, or God's? Really now, be honest, is sharing your faith even the most important part of your walk or is it something else, something a little more comfortable?

I think that gets to my point, being comfortable. For some reason we like to work right within our comfort level. Maybe a little outside of it when we are having bursts of divine inspiration but for the most part we like to be right inside our comfortable little box, just us and Jesus. Maybe we can fit a few friends in our box with us but in that box is where we stay. Don't get mad, I do it myself, you don't see me doing street evangalism, and the thought of it scares me. But you will have to agree that you have a comfort zone.

I believe that the church needs to be challenged more, the individuals need to be challanged before the church will truly make differences in peoples lives. We celebrate the stories of somone bringing a non believer to church as a victory, but then don't seek for everyone to have that experience in their lives. We see the good that can be done, but we don't do it ourselves. We almost would rather watch as others do what we know we should be doing ourselves. TV generation.

I believe that inherant in each of us is the call to do great things for God, to stand and live for Jesus but one simple thing stops us from doing so. Fear, very simple task for satan to accomplish. To test their faith, make them fear. If we would just step past it in that faith then Jesu Christ would come alive to us. think about the shy woman who one day was able to wittness Jesus to her coworker, how big of a smile do you see? Why, because she conquered the fear that mostly holds her back. Stack these events one after another in her life and I bet you wouldn't be able to stop her wittness.

How about Small Group Intimacy? Is this not just a way of illiminating the fear that you may have in talking with a stranger? I know, it is so much better feeding sheep then messing with pigs. Who wants to have to put themselves out for another unconditionally, like offering your self to a stranger in search of Christ. It is a good thing that God doesn't close His small group doors to newcommers! What would we all have done if that happened. Poured out offering, if we are truly following Him.

I think sometimes about being a comfortable Christian. Having a nice safe Church where after the Pastor pours his guts out for forty five minutes you can just get up and go home. revisit the subject a couple times a week, be challenged by your other Christian friends who are doing the same thing you are. Then doing it again the next week. Then I consider this, that there is no way in hell that the cross was comfortable for Jesus Christ. If it was not comfortable for Him to pay so dearly for me, why should I have the benefit of just giving nothing back?

Fear is of the devil. He is the only one who wants you to be so wrapped up in yourself that you forget what you really should be doing. We should be out stepping just past where we thought we should stop and in that momment, looking to God for everything else. You can continue to be safe and stay in your box, or you can begin to experience you faith at its fullest, when it is giving all to God as you step.

Lord, give us all strength in that moment when we begin to step past ourselves. Have us truly look at the purpose that we are here for, at what we can do when we glorify you. Get us out of self and move us more and more to the service of others, and you Lord. Amen.

Easter Blessing!

"16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of the nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and Son and the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Matthew 28:16-20

Yesterdays Easter service was just perfect, I will actually probably remember it forever as one of the best that I have attended. Not that it was an overpowering sermon or spectacular music. Not that I had any tremendous revelation from God, nor, even though an honor for me that I was with all of the soldiers, but that on one side of me stood Navin and on the other stood Mohammad. Two men, that accept for a simple offer, probably would not have been standing there with me at that time.

Navin, as some may recall although it seems like forever now, came to faith in Jesus Christ back in September. A simple invitation to sit durning prayer time led to his descission to follwo Jesus Christ in his life, and leave behind his Hindu Faith of his family. He has been a faithful attendee to the Chapel ever since. He stood to my left.

Mohammad, has been my friend since I arrived here in Shindand. We have shared many things together and discussed aspects of our faith on many occasions. You may recall that Mohammad was the one who invited me to go to Eid (spelling) prayer after Ramadon last August. Along with 30 other Muslim men I went to the Afghan Mosque and watched this time of their worship. A few days ago, after my lunch time reading, I was given the thought to ask Mohammad to the Easter service as my guest. Without hesitation he accepted the offer and joined me yesterday. He stood to my right.

After the first song I was gripped with what those two men represented in my life. That if for no other reason for me being in Afghanistan, these men were standing by my side on the most wonderful day of our Christian Life. The day that our faith was born, and the hope was realized through Jesus Christ, Ressurrection Day.

For a Muslim, this very weekend is what divides our faiths. The thought of one dieing for anothers sins is outrageous. The idea that Jesus could rise from His tomb and that He was the Son of God is Muslim herasy. There is but one God, one single God and anything more was idolatry. For the Hindu also, this event became a statement of the narrow path, the small gate. Not knowledge, but faith.

Three songs were sung, for the life of me now I don't know what they were, and then the reading of the Word. Matthew 28:1-10 and then 16-20. Oh my heart raced as I prayed now, listening to the Great Commission. Go, and make disciples. I just thanked the Lord for the opportunities that he had given me here. That my life had been used in such a way that now here these two men stood. The reality of the Great Commkision, the scripture that was being read was right there with me. One being strengthed in his faith and one being challenged in his.

I will not be hard line on this as you have heard it from me before. Jesus did not give us a choice as to going out and making disciples of all the nations (or people of those nations). He said, go! If you are not putting yourself out a bit. If you are not letting your actions and words wittness to those around you. If you are not actively drawing people to the church, home study group, Bible study or whatever, then you are not trusting and obeying Jesus. He says that all authority is given for this task, that He will be with you while you are doing it, yet you still make excuses for why you can't. You still fear and make up a selfish excuse to cover the fear.

Challange for you all, open your small groups up and allow for invitations to anyone who may need to hear the word or be strengthened. Have faith in Gods word and allow it to work in the hearts of those around you. Be available to be used, without fear of rejection by the Lord that you call Savior. Give Jesus and the opportunity as a gift to those who need it. You are not afraid to give a card, so give Jesus. Make it something you seek and enjoy a=not run from and hate, you will be rewarded even if it is just simply by knowing that on one service, one Easter you were surrounded by thoses that you helped draw nearer to Him.

Lord, work in the hearts of all who may read this. For those that don't know you, that they may come to know you. For those that do know you, that they are strengthened and allow themselves to be used by you. Amen.

He Has Risen

" I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

John 11:25-26

"The reason the father loves me me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. this command I recieved from my father."

John 10:17-18

"But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself."

John 12:32

"When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the father has taught me."

John 8:28

"You will look for me, but you will not find me: and where I am you can not come."

John 8:36

"Destroy this temple, and I will rise it up again in three days."

John2:19

"I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is Born Again."

John3:3

"For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever shall believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condem the world but to save the world through Him."

John3:16-17

They asked her "Woman why are you crying?" "They have taken my Lord away, " she said "and I don't know where they have put him." At this she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize it was Jesus. "Woman, " he said "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" Thinking he was the gardner, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will gat him" Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni"

John 20:13-16

He has risen!

On this day, I am reminded of the new life I have had in the Lord Jesus Christ. The hope of heaven and eternal life with the God. My life was made new on the day that I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, changed forever, born again. He offers this to all who call upon His name and accept Him into the lives as Lord.

Please know that this day is about the risen Lord, the conquering of the grave as Jesus had spoken would happen. Today all the hope that we have as Christians was born and we now can live free.

Lord, your word is truth. He has risen and gone up to the Father in Heaven to prepare a place for us. You have sent another to take your place and to lead us through this world until we to can join you. We thank you for that Amen.

Just Write and See What Happens.

Today I will just write and see what happens!

It is Saturday before Resurrection Sunday. This Holiday in paticular has me thinking of home, and being home. I am 65 days away from the beginning of my next journey, by the way (BTW for the kids). Anyway, the day of the Resurrection, this entire week has a paticularly spot in my heart as four years ago the PAssion week came just after my Salvation. My first Communion with the Lord, my Baptism and then Ressurrection Sunday. I think I cried the entire month. It is also the birth of the Christian faith, the hope that we have after the defeat of sin from the cross. My life in death, the defeat of my sin and my hope in the promise of the Lord. Wow!

Being home with Catherine, the kids and all of my Brothers and Sisters would be so joyful, but just isn't going to happen this year. I do however get to spend this one with the greatest Soldiers in the World who have also become my very close friends, Brothers and Sisters. It will definately become and very fond moment in my life to stand at a sunrise service, in the middle (well maybe a little to the left side) of Afghanistan, with these Soldiers, celebrating the Resurrection of the Savior of all men. In a country that denies Jesus as God, we can be a little becon of light for Him.

I also invited Mohammad to come to the Sunrise or 11:00 service. He has become one of my closest friends here. He was the one who invited me to the Eid (spelling) prayer back in August after Ramadon. It was a fabulous experience to wittness the Muslim prayer with several of the men here and I thought that maybe he would like to share an important day with me as a Christian. I am hoping that he will be able to remeber another moment that he and I shared together in our Faiths. Oh, and for anybody who would be nervous to ask a Muslim, or their nieghbor for that matter, to church, it didn't hurt a bit. It was very similar to asking him if he wanted to go get lunch and hang out a little together. Try it!

It is heating up over here a little bit, not just temperature. We had a rocket attack the other day, first one that I have been in since being here. The other two happened when I was on R&R. This one came over our tents and landed about 300 meters away. Shrappnel landed in our trades area so in the sceme of things that was close. I was up in the Chapel getting ready to have prayer with Robert and the guys. One things that I noticed has changed with me. The explosion happened and we just sat and discussed how close it sounded and what direction it was in. Fear of getting blown up, or sliced up, has gone away. You go to the bunkers on the bunker call, but fear is not there anymore.

The other night also, was real close to some trouble that occurred on the Afghan side of the Camp. With out getting into the details, I was giving my Brother Mike a ride back to his living area, on the the ANA side, in the gator and we pulled up onto about thirty ANA soldiers sorounding an MRAM. They were hooting and holering, raiseing there AK's in the air. We slowed down about fifty yards away and Mike pulled his weopon, cocking it and then aske dme to turn around, that something was wrong. We scurried back to the Italian compound for a safe haven. Turns out that there was a situation that was handled very delicately between the US Commander and the ANA Commander. We almost drove ito the situation.

It was funny, because the next day I thought about Mike's 9mm Pistol against all of the AK's and felt it probably wouldn't have done us any good at the time. Like I told him though, at least we will always have a story to tell.

Well, I hope that all of you enjoy your Resurrection Sunday. Even if your not a believer, know in your mind that Jesus Christ died and rose again, the crucifixtion part gave us all a way to pass through the Judgement by God. The Ressurrection part gives us all hope but also assures me that Christ will be there to stand in front of me during that judgement. I know, you don't believe, thats ok, one day we will all know for sure. Also for the non believers, enjoy the celebration of the hard boiled egg and try not to think of Jesus why you are doing so.

Lord Jesus, bless all that may read this today. For all that are away from home may they have peace in their hearts. May all celebrate you and know the hope that you have given us all. Amen.

Your Just Sheep.

"We all, like sheep, have gone astry; each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the inequity of us all.

Isaiah 53:6

Inequity - Gross immorality or injustice, wickedness. Grossly immoral acts, sin.

We have all put things in our lives that, if looked at honestly, are not good. I read once that as soon as we sin willfully we have lost our childlike inocense. We no longer have that free pass and become accountable for our actions. Like sheep, it is our nature to wonder, to wonder from the Creator and the path that he set us on. As soon as sin entered the world, we have gone astry, and gone our own way.

Gross immorality, our nakedness and lust of flesh. Injustice, Kane killing Abel. Wickedness and immoral acts our hearts prone to things contrary to what God would have us do. We make excuses for such things, dumb down the impact, descided that we are not as wicked as the next guy, when in fact we all ride in the same boat. For anything that turns us away like the lost sheep is a venture on our own and away from God. There is no margins here, accountability to God in the end.

There had to be correction, a way to come back to the fold. The lost could not stay lost, it would be neglect by the shepard, God could not forsake us. But God is just, as a father is to a child. There must be some penalty for disobediance and sin or else no justice exists. As through all of history God has required payment for sin, for the wickedness of man. The covering for Adams sin, the skins of an animal, blood spilled.

As the shepard loves the sheep he is willing to stand in the gap between the costs of wondering, the danger of being alone away from the flock, Jesus stood in the gap for us, between our sin and safety, between the world and God. John 10:14-15 I am the good shepard; I know my sheep and my sheep know me -just as the Father knows me and I know the father - and I lay down my life for the the sheep." Christ loves us so deeply, he loves God so deeply that in that love he was willing to be obediant and sacrificial. To fullfill the justice required for you, He would die to bring you back from your wondering.

Matthew Henrey in his commentary on this verse states, "by his suffering he purchased for us the Spirit and Grace of God, to mortify our corruptions, which are the distempers of our souls." He has done for us what as sheep we could not do for ourselves alone. The good shepard sacrificed once so that each of us did not have to suffer ourselves. Gods Justice dispatched once and for all.

I understand that some may baulk at the notion of penalty for sin, Gods justice. We don't understand how a good God can allow bad things to happen. We apply often our own stadards to what we think God should be doing, rationalise so that we feel comfortable. But God spoke through His word for centuries, millenia. Sin must be paid for, there must be penalty to have justice. The lamb slaughtered for payment. Innocense for wickedness. You can not think that acting in sin is good. You can not accept lust but then condem murder. There must be a stnadard for us, a guidpost for our independacnce to be kept in check. Jesus Christ.

He is the Good Shepard. He was willing to die once for all, and make the return of the lost simple. He saw the benefit for the flock, when He went in love to ide for it's sin. He went willingly into hell so that we would no longer live under its darkness. He was scurged and beaten for you, so that your guilt and shame could be removed. He purchased Gods grace for each one of His sheep so that they no longer would fear, but have a way back. John 27-28 " My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shal never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." Those who chose to hear the shepards voice, become His.

If you live in darkness, your life a never ending cycle of diappointment and shame. If you see much sorry and pain and the joy is hard to come by, not easily grasped and held onto, your are the lost sheep. You have struck out on your own and in your unwillingness to submitt and hear the voice of the shepard you walk in your iniquity, you graze in danger. You express your freedom, but breath your lonliness. Accept Jesus Christ and what He has done for you. Allow His sacrifice to pay for your life. Allow His love into your heart and give you the Spirit and Garce of God.

Lord Jesus, the Good Shepard of all, i ask you today to convict the sinful of their lives. To realize what they are doing and who they have become is only going to lead to eternal death. You call your sheep, all of them, and when they hear your voice the will be saved. You are Lord and Savior and I want all to know you as such.

Sinners Prayer - Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have seperated me from you. I am truly sorry and now want to turn away from my past sinful life towards you. Please forgive me and help me avoid sinning again. I believe in my heart that your Son, Jesus Christ, died for my sins, was resurrected, and is alive and hears my prayers. I invite Jesus Christ to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. That the Holy Spirit dwell in my heart, and help guide me each day. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Lack Anything?

"When I sent you without purse, bag or sandals, did you lack anything?"

Luke 22:35

This can go right to the heart of the matter, looks right into your perspective on faith, on Jesus Christ and God. You say how, it is almost a confusing question, but it is not, it speaks right to our faith in the provision of God in our lives and I think the strength of our faith as Christians.

When I left my job after fifteen years to begin the journey of working for the Lord. In many regards, the worldly non Christian view it was crazy, leaving a well paying job in a bad economy. Chasing your faith, without anything to go on. I remember Catherine and I praying in the living room, Gods will for our lives, at the end she turned to me and said "you know, God's will may be that we end up on the streets with nothing." She was right, in some sense, but in another she was not. In this passage Jesus is in essence saying that I sent you out weak and underprepared, but you were ok.

So after six months of looking for work, through family connections I was able to get this job here in Afghanistan. I will tell you that I was very unprepared in many ways. I had no prior Military experience. I did not ever work away from my family before. I had never even been in a conflict area or anything such as this in my life. Heck, I like camping but only for a short period of time. This was different for me. But I had purpose, and some faith in the provision of God and the leading of Jesus Christ. If anything else there was opportunity. We also would not be on the street, at this time.

When Christ sent out the Disciples He sent them out in sets of two to preach the word to those that needed to hear it. There was no big planning meeting, and think tank session, He sent them out with the basics to fullfill the Fathers work. I can imagine that this was a test of faith in some respects also. Jesus gave them basic instructions and sent them off. Not telling that they could come back, or to write if they got into trouble, but go and do the work that I ask you to do.

Here in this passage Jesus is reminding the Disciples of this fact, that when He had sent them even though they had little, they all returned, they lacked nothing. Verse 22:36 "But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." here now they have become seasoned, experienced, the times had changed and they would need more to keep on going. Christ was, in a few days, about to be betrayed, tried, and crucified. True testing of faith was to come, spiritual warfare was at hand.

Catherine and I a year ago, saw things differently then I believe that we see them now. Our faith in the power and Glory of God has strengthend tremendously. We are far from "Super Christians" but I will tell you that there is very little that we do not try to turn back to him in our lives. Each of our dependance on him went has grown from simply walking in faith to battle for our faith. We do not simply rely on the worlds standards but seek to give each instance to Him, be it the kids, work, life, financial descsions. Each are of our lives is an opportunity to glorify Him.

See, a year and a half ago, would could have ended up on the streets. In our minds we saw that as potentially the worst thing that could happen to us. As in verse 36, now we would be more prepared to focus on the Spiritual battle and the blessings of God that would come form the opportunity to glorify Him. We have realized that the circumstance of our lives is not what matters but the place where our heart is focussed that will see us through. That in all things, even the worst of things we must always glorify God.

God will provide everything that you need in your life. The circumstance that you live in, the provisions that are either given or taken away are all from Him. You can venture out with little or much, but your faith is what will see you through ultimately. If we stick to the worlds standards we would only see the material aspect, the spiritual is what will, however matter most.

The Disciples were now prepared, more so, then when He had first sent them out. Now they would have to maintain themselves without Him. Nothing to return to, no Master to see to them. They were prepared, and stronger and ready in Jesus eyes, for the tougher journey to come.

Lord Jesus, allow those that read this to understand that you do provide for the needs of all who truly seek you. It may seem foolishness to the weak at heart but the material things of this world will not sustain them, only accepting and seeking you sacrifice and love will. May those who don't know you, find you abnd call you Lord and those that do know you be strengthened by you even more. In your glory I pray. Amen.

In The Face of Another.

Sometimes your past is revealed to you very starkly in the lives of others. You catch glimpse of who you are or were from the stories and experiences that somone else brings forth and at that moment new perspective comes to you if you allow it to. It all is a matter of where your heart is an d giving yourself to the new creation that Christ has brought you to.

For a long time I struggled with what my alcholism, anger, domineering personality had done to those around me. I blamed myself for many aspects of my sin in the lives of my family and even to some extent to the lives of those around me. I was a good man, but I had a bad heart that did notr care for the consequences of my actions. Pride allowed me only to think of myself and the satisfaction that I recieved from the evil outbursts, the coerion, lies, twisting, what ever words you place, it was all about me and me feeling right. I said once to my father, that when I got angery, I did not care about anyone else. Not just a passing not caring, but a deep lack of care that was willing to give up love, and life in it's despiration.

So sometimes in the face of others you see the damage. When you see the pain that has been in anothers life you then see more fully how the evil works. "The yeast of the Pharisees", evil that can spread out and take over aspects of lives that was far beyond even the instance when the hurt took place. Yeast that remains, and grows and manifests itself every time new bread, life, experience, comes into play. A daughter that saw abuse then expects the same as an adult for her husband. One evil manifesting into another. And I saw the damage of another, similar to mine, in the face of another.

Thankfully, my self condemnation has turned into acceptance of the life that I have had and how God can work all things for the Good for those taht love Him. The expression of pain from one hurting Christian convicting another. The wrongdoer becomeing the counselor, the appologist, one feeding into the rest, to the one. I can turn the bad into good in the name of Jesus Crist and the Spirit that is within me. I can trust His word. I can walk knowing that whatever I was, I am not in Jesus Christ and that my past has become the foundation of my faith. That each struggle is one stone that I can now stand upon in victory.

Know "good men" that we see ourselves as the most important person to us, sees us. That when you hurt and then you cause hurt, that will become this yeast. That each time you either build up or tear down you are being watched and that those things are not forgotten but ingrained in those around you. So we can walk in foolish pride and only think of ourselves, or we can walk in the goodness that is in Love. You may find jesu Christ and faith to be foolishness, but if you can in anyway explain to me how anything that is in the Gospels is not better then what this world has to offer, please do so. Others pay for our foolishness and if you can look at that pain and not feel your own ugliness then you must ask who's you are.

I am thankful for the the working of the Holy Spirit and the new life that I have in Jesus Christ. My past will remain in its place forever, but the working that is in me now is incredible and so appreciated. These reminders are strengthening in how far He has brought me. Allow Him the same for you.

Lord Jesus, continue the good work in me, allow me to grow as your creation and not allow the evil one to destroy me because of my past but for me to embrace that past and turn it back as a weopon against him. Thank you for the face of another to allow me to see the distance

Is This Ok?

Yesterday I was sitting in my room (office) and a call came over the radio for me. Trans #1, Trans#1. Trans#2. I answered, "go ahead Trans#2 for Trans#1." "Yes sir, can you come to the office please." "Yes" I reponded "I will be there in one minute". "Yes Sir, could you bring your Bible with you please sir?" "Yes".

Now this shocked me. I would have never thought that somone would ask me, here, to bring my Bible to the office. What shocked me more was that it was Trans#2 asking. What was running through my mind was this was going to be some kind of joke and that somehow I was being put on the spot for something stupid. As I left I thought, I wonder which Bible he wants me to bring? My big bible or a small one so I asked "do you need a praticular bersion?" There was no response.

So anyway, I walk into the office to see Trans#2 standing near two other Expat employees. Immediately Trans#2 asks me this, "Doesn't it say in the bible that a husband and wife have certain obligations to each other and if the woman is not performing those obligations the man can go out and get it someowhere else? Now be honest." I was floored but pleased that I had now an opportunity to speak about the Bible to these three.

Now it became apperent that their conversation before I arrived was on this point. Trans#2 believed that this was ok and the woman in the room was stating tyhat it was a sin to committ adultrey. So I began, by setting the background for my answer. That God brought a husband and wife together to be one flesh, one body. That the union was a covenant before God of this bond and that each must trust God that this is the person that he has brought to them. It is also important that each person have a relationship with God so that the understanding of the union is complete.

"Yes, but doesn't it say that a woman has to do certain things or the man can go out and find it? May grandfather who was a Pastor told me that it was alright and the Bible said it was, if the woman wasn't performing." Wait a second I said, it is also important to look at that the bible does say that because the man and woman are one, their bodies in essence shared by the other that they do have obligations one to the other. "See", pointing at the other employee,"and if the woman doesn't do it she is wrong." Not exactly, the are both obligated one to the other but if one fails in this regard it is between them and God, it does not give the man the the right to go running around. The woman in then said, adultry is a sin and if you go out running around you have committed a sin. She was correct in that it is not ok to committ one sin because of another sin, there is no justification for this.

So I then spoke about what a man should do. That he should trust hat the Spirit is working in his wifes life and bring the matter to God. That he also should in his words and actions lead his wife to God so that she can work out what the issue might be. In any event the woman was right in saying that it is not ok, as far as I know to committ a sin because another committed sin. Adultry was adultry no matter how you sliced it. To this the Trans#2 said I am going to call my Grand dad. That is not what he said.

So this is kinda funny in a way but it unfortunately is the way this man thinks. It was obviously reinforced by something that his grandfather said , or he thought he said somewhere along the way. The good thing about this is that it was a chance to speak about God and the Bible to some that are obviously a little lost. I was also happy that they called me, because in some way I must represent the Godly man, or have some more authority to speak on such matters in their minds.

I guess I am writing this also becasue, unfortunately this is how some, probably alot, of people think. This is the world that we live in. Tit for tat kinda stuff. Areas where in one respect they want to apply the bible and then in the same breath deny the bible. The society that was founded on christian principles so easily has thrown them or away or at least distorted them to fit their own comfort levels.

In a strange way I am hoping that he speaks to his grandfather regarding this. I am wondering really what he had said.

Lord, convict the hearts of men who distort your word. Bring to them your truth and have them see that yours is not a restrictive path but and easy path for those who truly seek you. I thank you for the brief and unusual opportunity to speak your word. Amen.

Work

My father yesterday asked me about my work. He said that I don't speak much about it anymore and wanted to know how things were going. Today I will update you all on this.

What I said to him and the best way to describe it is that it is just moving along normally and consistantly. Back before the December move there was a lot of activity for my Department. Everything needed moved and to move things you need MHE. Everyday was packed full of things to do and opportunities and challenges. It was fun and exciting to say the least.

Once we got to the East side it remianed pretty busy each day. The Camp was not ready for us to move but we had to so there was still a tremendous amount of building going on here. This kept us moving, trucking, lifting, etc. I was actually loving, yes loving, what I was doing. I had split up the department a bit so that I could focus on the MHE and trucking and let the Supervisor focus on the Buses. With that I was in the people development role. Nothing will enhace the working ability of work then developing good people. These guys took to it well.

Towards the end of December into January it was probably the highlight of my time here. My guys were on autopiolet and could work through issues without a problem. Each guy knew what they needed to do, had responsibility and accountability and they were moving. The Supervisor David was on R&R so there was no opposing force to the things that I was trying to do and the hole Department including the buses was smooth and confident.

The Camp at that time was winding down on the construction and therefore more sustainment comes into play. The main role of the Contractors is the upkeep and daily operations of the Camp. When costruction settles the my Departments work slowed a bit. Not as much heavy moving and such. There is consistant work but not tremndous amounts of it. This will change at the end of My when again construction will begin on the next expansion "The Far East" unfortunately that will be the time when I should be transitioning my replacement.

At the end of February I went on R&R for eighteen days. Now this is when things changed in the Department again. Without me here then the Supervisor takes over and his ideas of how to operate are drastically different. What I can say is that he shoots from the hip and does not think of the workers as anything more then just hands. I have been told by the workers that he is to negative and he makes them all feel bad. Unfortuanately I can only do so much about that due to various factors here. It is better and I can keep him in check when I am here.

So I returned from R&R and the Department was back to the way it was when I first got here in many respectes. It was disappointing to see how far it could fall in such a short time. To add to this my Boss inssted that the Supervisor be the primary day to day supervisor and that I was to let him oversee all the operations. That I was only to be involved in the bigger things, as needed.

So moy direct involvement was hindered a bit and being able to watch over the work so consistantly was not there.

So now I can influence what is going on and interject as needed, keeping at least a good standard and hopefully uplifting the Department but there is a constant negative aspect that I can not watch all the time. So the Department runs, does what it has to do and is still pretty self sustaining but the fun and excitment of seeing men be happy and feel as if the are doing good stuff is gone. I think even in me that spark was extinguished a bit.

The blessings of this place now for me is that I am able to continue to work for the Lord however I can and nobody can change that. The Units have switched out and I am making new friends and building new working relationships. I am slowly transitioning the Department back into the control of the others and hopefully instilling back some of what was lost. The unfortunate thing is that when I leave there will be no telling what the leadership will be.

So, I stand on the fact that I have done my best and still have the opportunity to do good things here. I still have the ability to influence peoples lives. That what I am doing will make a difference and that for my work I will have spent a year in Afghanistan helping build an American Military Bases that is to remain here for many years, despite what the Poloticians say. I stand more heavily on the fact that I have tried to Glorify God in all that I do, no perfectly, by to the best of my ability and be the best subordinate and boss that I could be. In this it is very rewarding opportunity.

Lord, may my hands be your hands and my mouth be yor mouth. In all that I do may I find a way to honor and glorify your name. Amen.

Galatians 3:20

"The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Galatians 3:20

Discipleship takes on many forms but the main purpose for the Christian is to emulate Jesus Christ by following His example. I know that many that look at Christians believe that we act "Holier then Thou" or we think that we are perfect. The steriotype is that we walk around with a smile on our face, almost ignoring the world around us, thinking that somehow we are above the rest. I assure you that this is not the complete and accurate picture.

We are, as disciples asked to "follow Him" and to have others "follow me" as I walk. We are to be lights in the darkness, salt that causes thrist for truth. We are asked to be something different even though we have no inherant differences then the guy standing next to us. We are called, to repent of known sins, to be forgiving, to love unconditionally and to do this in the name of Jesus Christ wherever we go.

The ultimate part of this Discipleship is to love unconditionally. To above all things care for those around you so tremendously that you are willing to give yourself for them. Notice the word for, not to, but for them. Jesus is our example, we are to follow Him and in that we are to die for those that we love. Die to what we are in order to lift up and glorify God in our life. This sometimes can be the most difficult part of our discipleship.

I continue to work out my discipleship, my wittness. To loojk at my life and evaluate it against what the Bible, what Christ has taught me. Today I am working out my love against my relationship with my wife. She is my gift from God, my partner, the one who I love to death do us part. But is this love the love that Christ has shown us? Is it that perfect for me? Out of any other thing on this planet, my wife is the one, who before God I made a cvenant to love. In that she should have the best part, should be the standard to which all other things compare my love to.

There should be no difference between how I treat my son, in love, then my wife. There should be no Brother, that should be held in better regard then my wife. My outpouring of Christ within me should be at its peek when it is equal to what I will show my wife in love. God made no distiction between you and me, when Jesus was hung on the Cross for us. He did not show love any more to one then any other, we were all made equal in His sacrifice. No discrimination as to how the gift of salvation can be recieved. It was not made too expensive for anyone, it was made free for all.

So in looking at this, my Discipleship, my love I am evaluating this, how is it that sometimes I put things before my love for my wife and others as I walk? How is it that I can accept the gift freelyfrom God yet I can so easily forget that gift? How can I love more? Would I be willing to die, so that others would live? Would I be willing to give up that which is not consistant with love, so that it has no power to overcoem my love?

It is easy to accept Gods love and Grace but so much harder to place in your life and let it rule every descsion you make. It is easy to say that you love, but truly feel and act in love at all times is near impossible. Some of you think this Christian thing is easy! I continue to place a sin between my wife and I that is in no way consistnat with love. It actually, as related in the Manly Man conference, a form of not trusted God in the gift of my wife that he has given me. The sin in essence is saying that there is something that even briefly I want more then what God has given me.

Because of this, it has caused me to think, to wrestle with in my mind, this; there is no greater love then this, that a man lay down His life for another. How far would my discipleship go? I am obviously drawing a line at this point of sin. I will love up until a point and then I can't do it anymore. Laying down of my life, sounds wonderful in a small group, but I can't give up a specific failure? A hypocrat would say it did not matter. I could blow it off and just ask forgivness, but that would be cheap. Lay down your life for another, that is not cheap.

So as I wrestle, I understand that this may not be easy, but it is necessary for me to do whatever I have to to work through and past this hurdle. To move to a point where the love for my wife, and the glorifing God in honoring and trusting His gift, takes more president then the satisfining of my own selfish heart.

Here is a little after thought for you guys out there who are married, or even have kids. What are the things you say about them when they are not there? What do you blame on them in your life, a struggle, something? What things do you do that you would not eagerly do when they are with you. These are the things that are not done in love. These are the things that you must not cheaply overlook but dig out at the root so that you truly are loving those around you. Don't speak of Jesus sacrifice for you but then not be willing to give the same to others. That would not be honest.

Today marks the beginning of Passion Week. The days from here through next Sunday define our faith as Christians. There is no other time better then this to feel the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for us, and with that reflect on what you are willing to do for others. Follow me as I follow Jesus.

Lord, we are in such a battle. give us strength to stand on our beliefs, to live them, and be them. To defend them always even when it means we must change ourselves. Let us not only pick the easy battles, but run head long into the hard. Circumcise our hearts and minds until the are fully and honestly following you, so that we are truly loving as you loved us. Amen

Real Time

I am going to start this post off today differently. I am writing this at 09:16 in the morning after the post Psalm 116:10 was published. This morning I am getting the ache again each time I come to my room to work. The first time I sat down I immediately wrote a prayer in an email to Catherine for me and my family. This second time, as I came back it started again, so I am writing this.

This will be kinda an object lesson of sorts. Documented as "Real Time" as possible as the day goes on. I will see if I can document the events throughout the day and find what it is that is causing the ache. It will be either some sort of difficulties or some sort of blessing. Don't know at this time, but I am looking forward to finding out.

09:29, Still uneasy! We are always in a spirtual battle, everyday, each minute. Those of you that don't understand this, maybe you are not saved or maybe just not walking it is this. Unless you are a threat you are left alone. you are an inocent bystander who watches as the invading Army passes you by. Until the day of them coming for you you will remain inocently standing by in disbelief. For the soldiers, the resistance, the ones who stand on their beliefs and for a purpose, you are the threat. You are the ones hunted, and sought after by the enemy.

10:59, In Country Pay Day here at the Camp. This is the day once a month that you can get cash from your paycheck at the Finance office. They have recently moved the office to the end of the RLB I am living in. So as I ventured out to go to the bathroom ther was the line of guys waiting for their pay. This gave me the opportunity to pass out some of the items I have recieved as donations for these guys. Tooth paste and tooth brushes first and they went really fast. The guys tend to like the large tubes of Colgate over anything else. Socks, underwear and wash clothes went next. Now I know what you are thinking, come on Mike, you could have done this any day. You are right but today it has a bigger purpose, today just maybe was the day that this needed to be done.

12:59, Luch / reading time was uneventful for the most part however I am reading a very good book on m y Kindle. "Discipleship: Living for Christ in the Daily Grind by J. Heinrich Arnold. Some good Spiritual meat for the brain. Today was about The Lords Supper and Marriage.

1430, Made my call to Catherine to make sure she had woken up at 06:00.

14:31, I have continued to slowly but surely hand out different items to the guys while they are recieving their in country pay. The great thing is that the pay that they are recieving would have gone for some of the items that I am handing out. They will be able to use the money now for other items. It does not necessarily mean that it won't be cigerettes or food or something like that but I always feel that that is not my concern. In a small way this helps them out and that is a good thing.

15:12, Some more T-Shirts and socks. I have some heavier sweatshirts and Henlys but I will wait until the sun goes down a bit. It may be easier to give those away at that time then now as it is still hot out side.

16:19, Called Catherine again, the kids just on the bus. We are able to get caught up and see what our days are going to be or have been. I am eight and a half hours ahead so as one day ends another begins. Goodmornings and goodnights all in the same call.

1800, Managers Meeting. We had to sit and wait for two Managers to show up. When somone is late that is what we do, wait for them to arrive before starting. There are no excuses here that prevent you from being at these meetings. No traffic, no sick days, no days off. The rule is if you can not make it you must send someone in your place. This meeting is for the passing of pertinent information that must be passed to your people the next day. So the meeting went long.

1840, Went and sat with Walley the O&M Manager. We have a couple of Adirondack chairs outside his office and it is a nice place to relax at the end of the day. This is the same place I read at lunch. I sat with Him until about 19:45 and then went back to my room. The converstation was nice but nothing special, nothing amazing.

20:30 After completing a movie I had been watching I called Catherine and then got in bed. I am writing his part in the morning.

So, what was the day? Good or bad? I started with the ache, twice being overwhelmed by the feeling that caused me to react. I did not just leave it alone and allow it to bring me down. Prayer and connection came from that, conecting to God through my prayers, my actions and thoughts during the day. Moving, actively towards Him. I connected with Catherine, in voice and in email drawing closer in faith with my partner. I more importantly purposed myself at one point to bring joy to others. To touch someone who for any other reason I may not have.

We must be active in our faith, walking in the belief that the Holy Spirit lives within us. That the Spirit is guiding us, warning us, compelling us to do something besides sitting and lamenting over our pain. I would suggest that you8 all do the same. When times of struggle come, stand and walk. Look to the Lord to see you through and trust that He will, move in his glory and be free from the pains of life.

Lord Jesus, active participation in your will. Moving towards you and for you in all things and in all ways. We should not jump into the pit under trial but stand on the firm ground besides you and live, freely. Amen

Psalms 116:10

"I believed, therfore I spoke, I am greatly afflicted"

Psalms 116:10

Makes sense! I guess you could not believe and speak also but then you would be a liar, if you were speaking as if it were truth. You could also believe and not speak which would then call in to question your beliefs, or at least your convictions. I believed, therefore, because of that belief, I spoke.

Ever say to yourself, "boy, I wish I had said that"? Kicked yourself afterwards that you did not speak your beleifs to someone, for what, fear? You should not let these moments pass by without considering the reasons for the hestitation. The "why" for the lack of confidence. If we beleive something then there should not be any reason why we would fear! Fear comes from doubt.

Now this doubt could be doubt in ones ability to communicate effectively. Doubt that you may have all the information. Even doubt that you are not as srtrong in your knowledge as those that you may be wanting to speak to. I wonder if John the Baptist ever felt that way when he was walking around telling people to repent and baptising them? We see that Moses did, but once he had a little confidence boost then off he went to Pharaoh.

Here is a question that just came to me. In your small groups, somone telling a story about wittnessing to a non Christian, is that a regular event or a rare and elusive occurance? If it is not a regular event then your small group may need to push themselves a little harder for stronger relationships with Christ. We should be compelled to speak the Word, to save the unsaved, to at least even Prasie Gods name in public, but remaining silent unless everything is just perfect in the moment is not right.

Set in your heart that you believe. That you believe and that you will be faithful. Be assured that God pronmises to watch over you, to keep you. He gives His counselor to guide you always. He will work all things for the good of those who love Him. Also set in your heart your faith. If you have doubt work it out, question, pray, talk about it and don't just zombie around the church thinking that someone will be mad if you have a question. Dig! But set in your heart that if you believe it, you will speak it. Anything less and you are cheating yourself and Jesus.

Lord Jesus, may my belief grow so strong so powerful that I will shout from the rooftops your name. That the only fool is the one who does not believe and does not know you as Lord and Savior. The I may be greatly afflicted every opportunity that you present me. Amen

How Do You Spell Conscienceiousness?

"For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me."

John 17:8

Now that the nice weather is here, actually it is pretty nice all the time here, I have been sitting out on the boardwalk reading at lunch time. you may recall that I was sitting out by the tree at the edge of the flightline, still my favorite spot, but I stopped after my R&R as it is just too far to bring a chair now. The camp had changed a bit and my office is further away. Anyway, so now I have an Adirondack Chair that I have posistioned outside of the O&M Managers office that has become my lunchtime spot.

Now I generally pack a pipe, grab a drink and head off to sit for an hour in relatively quiet bliss as I read. Ocassionally the Camp Manager will pass by on the way to his office and make a comment about me Spiritually feeding my brain. He is also a Christian and I am usually reading something to bbuild my faith. I rotate around four books at lunch time, picking depending on my mood the one for the day. Sometime a light lunch and sometimes I like to pig out.

Today, it seemed to be one visitor after another for the first several minutes. The DCMA and LSO came out to do their pre lunch pull ups and push ups. Then the camp Manager came by on His way back from the gym. The O& M Manager came back to his office for a brief minute to get O&M 2 for lunch. So once it settled down, I was able to immerse, not really but it sounds good, in my new book, "Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die" by Piper.

About a paragraph into the first chapter, out of his office came the visiting regional Camp Manager, book in hand, sitting down next to me. Here is a man that is always very confident, be quiet in his approach, almost gentle. he is very knowledgeable in what he does and I would even say wise to a certain extent. Somone that I would personally like to work for if I had a chance.

Quickly glancing at the cover of his book I note that it is about finding inner consciensiousness (big word). Now I know what this is, and I know that it is not generally seen as Christian, so I ask, "What is your book about?" Now I am nervous becasue as I said, this man has always struck me as wise, and well thought out. I am even thinking that he is intellectually superior to me, seriously, I did because I knew where I was going and I was thinking I might get whooped! Good or bad, in I went with the question.

Back cam the answer that I anticipated, that the book was in fact about finding Inner Conscienseiousness. That he was raised Catholic, Catholic school through High School, Alter Boy etc, and he had fallen away from the church in college. He had for a long time did Transidental Meditation, and now was studing more of all faiths because he believed that Organized Religion had too many problems. The whole time he was speaking I was thinking, oh God, I jknow you will give me the words to speak, just let me find the correct path at this point.

Ironically enough, last nights small group spoke about trusting in our wittness. Now this is realitive to all stages of faith so I was thinking about this also as I tried to think of the next words. I started at what I beleived was the core of his searching, Organized Religion. This was one of my major arguments when I was fighting against Jesus Christ also. I could spend all day on how the Church and people failed in the Church. Of course anybody could because it is true!

My agreement with the problem of religion brought us to the distinction between faith and religion. Now realize that we have passed by religion, the congregational aspect of faith, and move to the personal part of faith which is our heart. This is where you can quickly lose people and I was afraid that he was going to run all over me here. In these cases I always keep my side of the conversation focussed on what my faith and experience is, people won't argue with you about what you beileve, generally.

So in speaking of faith, I was able to find a connection, thank you Lord, between Christianity and inner conscienciousness (This word is killing me today. Next time I find a Hindu!) that actually ties to my post from yesterday, the Holy Spirit. Very realivant and similar to his beliefs but easily represented by the Christian perspective. How are we lead? What is the leading? How do we react to it?

From here, we moved onto judgeing of others. Again, this is a staple of non Christian views when it comes to what is wrong with the church. It is also a very valid point, we Christians along with every other person in the world has a natural bent on judgement. Of course none of us can just leave this to God, and judgement again has a lot of factors associated directly to our beliefs in general. So back to my faith but this time as it relates to our true purpose as Christians, to be a light. To point those around us to their own face to face with Jesus and therefore allow the Holy Spirit to work on them not us. In essence, what I was attempting to do now, lead him to his own place of solice with the Lord.

The Bible states that we all have an inherant knowledge of God, in Romans. None can deny, truthfully the existance of something far bigger than themselves. So, be it as a parent, teacher, friend, collegue, accountability partner or spouse if you can bring the person, under their own free will to a place where they are confronted with their own conscience, their own voice from God, then you allow God to convict them, to judge them, then you will find true repentance in a soul. If I were have to said that Inner Cosciencness was just plain prideful, and placing oneself before God and therefore a sin, well this man may have been offended. But speaking of the Spirit, the Counselor of Jesus Christ then the man has to descide for himself where he stands.

So we meandered along this nice path for about a half hour. We spoke of many things and at no time did any of the conversation get "ugly". At no time did it become even bad. As a matter of fact it was very nice and in the end I though that it was jujst perfect. That is why I am writing of it. Now I did not bring him to a moment of Salvation, or of repentance, I did not even bring him to an understanding of Jesus Christ more then what he already had, but what I did do is water the soil. I wittnessed and glorified God in those moments that I had with Him. Not for me to determine quality only faithfullness to the call we are given in Matthew 28.

So at this he was ready to go to lunch and excused himself. He thanked me for the conversation and returned to his office. He never did open his book. I stood and returned to my room, and began to recount this story in my blog, which you read now.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the words that I was able to speak. Thank you that I was able to used by you and given the opportunity to wittness your Name and the name of the Holy Spirit. May this man, now lay and think of you, may your Spirit work in his heart and begin to lead him back to you Lord. thank you for confirmation of the strength found in the trust in your Word. In your precious name, Jesus. Amen.

Our Souls United Through The Holy Spirit

"16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know Him, for he lives with you and will be in you." John 14:16-17

At Christmas time this year, Cathrine sent me, along with some other gifts, a desk calander with scriptures on it. Each day I can tear of one day and move on to the next. Each day revealing another scripture for me to ponder during the day. As I sit at my desk I can feed on God's Word. I also use this calander to feed others, to provide the daily scripture that I post on my Facebook page. Spreading God's Word to others.

What makes this calander one of the most precious gifts that I have ever recieved at Christmas is this. On Random days Catherine spent time writing encourageing statements for me to see. Not everyday but every few days is something written as a little treasure from my wife to encourage me through this year. I look forward in anticipation to pulling the page off in the morning to see if something will be on the next day from Catherine.

As Jesus was coming near the end of His Minisrty here on earth he began to assure the Disciples that they would be ok. That if the remained in Him, faithful, that they would not be alone. That the Father in heaven, He, would help guide and strengthen them as the continued here on earth. The father in heaven knew that believers would need constant encouragement to remain strong in the journey. The calander on my desk reminds me of my wife, of my family, of the purpose of why I am here. It represents love and grace, caring all the things that I need on a daily basis are there along with the notes. The personal thoughts, meant just for me to help me remain on the path.

Jesus tells the Disciples that the Father will send another, a Counselor to be with them forever. When Christ has gone to the Father one will remian with them, in them as believers. The notes from Catherine, the treasures, keep her here with me, conected to me, I can't help but see here hand on each page where I find the notes. You can't help but see the Counselor of Truth on each page of the Christians life, if they accept Him.

Todays note has inspired this blog, in many ways. Todays note is this, "Our souls are united through the Holy Spirit." A reminder that we are one, Catherine and I. Chosen by God to be together, one flesh. Chosen by God to be married before the beginning of time, to know each other, one body. Once I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior Catherine and I fully realized the power of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in our marriage. When Christ left the Spirit was given to all that believed in Him. As Catherines words say, our souls united, thus each believer united to the father, through the Holy Spirit. Catherine and I, the Disciples, are all united to the father through the Spirit of truth. We are also, as in our marriage, united to one another as we all as believers share this one, same Spirit. This is the body of the Church, this is the uniting factor as Chritians. This is the connection to the singular head, Abba, Father.

There is one more piece to this, as Catherines words are set as a reminder, to guide me through this year, as the calander reminds me of the Word of God, so the Spirit within me does. It speaks to me, moves me, reminds me of Jesus of God the Father. The Spirit of Truth dwells within me as this calander stands as a constant reminder. Warm, loving, special. Feeding, inspirational, connecting. Given in love, given to guide. The Holy Spirt, the spirit of the Word, the spirit of my wifes words, all there today.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the Counselor who has come to dwell in my heart to guide me to you. Thank you that the Spirit of truth unites me to you, to my wife and to all believers as one. Thank you that you have given me Catherine and she has given me this gift, as you have given this gift to all who believe in your name. Amen

Convicted.

Catherine always tells me she likes when the Spirit convicts me of something. I try to remain faithful to the leading whenever it happens and it, when I do, works out well. One way or another there is a blessing at hand. Let me start this Blog today back a bit in time. Just before I went on my last R&R I assured my Boss that I would make sure that I left the Department fully capable of it running itself. That each person would be brought up to a level wherr ethey were confident in what they were doing and could do it without much direction. Also that each person would be able to fill in for the otehrs so that we were covered for R&R's or emergencies. I even went so far as to tell him that my ultimate goal would be to leave this FOB in June and that the Department wouldn't even miss me. So that is what I did. I set out and got all of the Coordinators to a place where they could operate with very little direction from me or David. I could then move into oversight and allow the operation to continue on a daily basis very smoothly. So basically, like a Manager should do I am working my self out of a job. Since I have returned from R&R things have slowed here as far as major work. the camp is basically built and we are more into a sustainment program until the next construction phase starts. My work therefore has also slowed, with the guys very independently doing their jobs and the normal routine of things it just moves along. Add to that that I now have another Supervisor in the mix it has spread the work out even further. So I also now have days that I am looking for things to keep myself busy. Yes bordom can almost be the term used on some days. With just under eighty days left on my contract, and this bordem, you can imagine the internal antsiness. So last night, we go to our 1800 meeting where all of the Supervisors and Managers attend to get the end of the day briefing. Sitting next to me is the Camp Manager Floyd. Now he is a Christian, Ex Marine, Process Controls guy and happens to be the best Camp Manager that we have had here since I have been here. Just as the meeting started he leans over and says, "so, what did you do all day?" My heart sunk, really! So I started to rattle of the things that I thought would convince him that I filled my day with endless work and that the company got every minute of pay out of me. He just said "ok". So I sat there through the meeting wondering what this would be about. Yes, I almost felt guilty of not working hard enough. So as the meeting wound down, I turned to him and said, "hey Floyd, whats up? What do you need?" He smiled and said "oh, you were wondering why I asked you what you did all day? Nothing, I just ask that of people randomly." So deep breath in I said "ok, I thought you may have neeeded something." I felt good for a while, but that evening as I lay in bed the second conviction hit me, Mike, are you really doing enough? Oh. Maybe not! So after a little contemplation I fell asleep. This morning everything was good as I went out to my prayer time by my tree. I walked past Floyd who was sitting and reading his devotional out in front of his room. I told him that I thought it was good to see him outside and reading as normally he stays in his office. He said he had to read the play book before he got in the game. Very good, and I walked out to the tree by the flight line. I walked and sang my worship song and then stopped and began to pray. Just near the end of my prayer time The SPirit spoke to my heart once again, this time more clear then the other two. "you need to talk to Floyd. You need to let Him know what is going on." So ok, I am no dummy and know that when I have such clarity then there should be no argument. If i do I would be the fool. I returned to Floyds office, he was inside now, and knocked. As I entered I told him that I had been convicted of what he said. That we were both Christians so he would understand that I was there because of that conviction. He kinda looked strangly at me as I continued. I told him that his question last night had caused me to think about the situation. I said that because the work had slowed and that my guys were doing what they needed to do very well, along with almost too many hands, I was finding myself looking for things to do during the day. With that, I offered to him and the O&M Manager if needed any assistance I could be to them for the next month until I begin to demobe. He looked at me and thanked me, said he appreciated me letting him know. Now I don't know what the blessing may be. As a matter of fact I don't think I really care. Some of you may even think that I am crazy for saying anything, but I followed my convictions, the leading of the Spirit, and I moved in the direction I was asked to move. Now this very well turn out bad, it may not, I don't know but however it turns out will be the way the Lord intended it to. As a Christian I must walk in that faith and glorify God in all things, in that I know that I am in His will. I didn't sit in discernment or wait to run this by my Brothers. I moved in faith and confidence in the Lord God and that is enough for me. Lord, continue to convict my heart in all things. Strengthen me so that I may walk in faith of your plans and move to always glorify you. I trust and obey, trust and obey. Amen.

Rules, We Don't Need No Stinking Rules.

"13Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow is the raod that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Luke 7:13-14

The Faithful, the believers in Jesus Christ have heardthis one before and you are probably saying to yourself right now, what is he going to add that I haven't heard before? Probably nothing, is my response. I am actually thinking of those people who do not believe what the Bible has to say, what Jesus said during the Sermon on the Mount. Those that quite frankly are doomed to eternal destruction because they believe that any way is the right way because their idea of God has them believing that.

Now how come in so many areas in our lives we want order and structure, we want things spelled out for us plainly and simply but in the matters that may have to cause us to change or ways or views we want to do it our way, or at least have freedom to choose. For instance, sports. There are, in every sport a set of rules that have been determined so that everyone understands what is expected of them when they play. The conduct on the field is determined inadvance and if the conduct is not upheld then their are penalties assessed to the team or player who broke the rules. You even see the drunk fan getting pissed off when the rules have been broken.

How about the Rules of the Road? Very specifically were are told what we can and can't do while we are driving. Every aspect of these "Rules" are spelled out in the Motor Vehicle regulations. When we don't follow the rules the the Police have the right to enforce a penalty against the motorist who violated rules.

One more area, how about the rules in your house. Here is where it could get a little more personal. As we all know, there is somone in the house that will set the standard of conduct. Those people living in the house are expected to follow the standards of conduct of that house. If the standards are violated then the Head of the Household will impose a penalty or punishment on the one who caused the infraction.

Now I am sure that up to this point not one person has disagreed with the idea that there are standards of conduct, rules, regulations and such that we all have to obide by in our lives. Each one of us goes about much of our day without even thinking about them to much. Yes there are some that we can't help but see and adhear to but others we have to chose to obey.

For instance, the Traffic Laws. We are constantly reminded of the speed limits, seat belt law, passing requirements, many of them. Now if we chose to obey them is a different story. So why when it comes to our faith, people are so willing to say that the rules that have been established don'tmatter. That yes, the Bible says that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the light but yet we can all worship how we want and that is ok?

Now I will speak specifically to those of you who believe in God, but then apply your own views to what the requirements of heaven will be. To make it plain to the text, the wide and broad gate people. You are the people that acknowledge the rule maker but deny the rules. You believe that as long play the game half good then you will be ok because at least you were in the game. Are you not still breaking the rules.

If you acknowledge that there is a God, the Creator of the Universe and everything in it. Then why would you deny His standards of conduct? We tend to want to define the rules of Spirtuality to suit ourselves but will not accept the same when it comes to sports, driving or our homes. We know inherantely that God exists, but you would determine that your descisions are better then His at any given time that it suits you.

How many times have you heard someone say that it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you are a good person? "Officer, I know that the speed limit was 55 mph, and I was going 80 mph but I am a good person. Whoever determined 55 mph really doesn't care that I go that fast. As long as I lived my life ok!" Sound like it would work? How about trying to tell the Umpire that you are not really out becasue you tried really hard to be good? It doesn't sound right here in this writing and it certainly doesn't sound right to God.

Now you can argue with me about beliefs all day long and which group has it right or not. I come at this from the Chritian point of view. But lets look at this a bit. When a muslim murders, does he not believe that he is good and doing right? How does it make you feel to see this? You probably just moved away from the wide and broad philosophy a bit. Is the gate that wide to allow the murders belief of his goodness into heaven? See, our goodness, your goodness is arbitrary. I t will even change based on stages of life. What Gods word has done, is set the non arbitrary standards for which to live by. Like all the others however, it is up to us to follow.

Now I am probably running on a bit here, I lost my thoughts a couple of times with interuptions so let me try to wrap it up. It really comes down to this, if you believe that there is a God then you must believe that He has a standard for us. It can not be the wide and broad road or there just would not be a standard. So you must be honest with yourself and agree that you can not determine His standards for Him because the would not be His then. So what do you do?

I will tell you this, because the choice is your ultimately, that there is not one thing in my life that has not gotten better by following the example of Jesus Christ. You may say that I have changed and given up alot, but you are wrong, I have gained in all respects. The standards that I attempt to live by, God's word, the narrow path have all brought me to a better place. As for the gate, that is my faith in the death burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ and the saving works He completed on the cross. That gate is narrow and the standards for access are the same for everyone.

One final thought, just because I always like you to know where you are if not in the Lord. Satan is the caretaker of the wide and broad path. He have you believe that the narrow path does not apply, that the rules are restrictive rather then freeing. He have you believe that you are perfectly within your rights to chose the rules that apply and those that don't. He is even the one right now who is making you think that I am just a Jesus Freak, touting my faith, fire and brimstone. He is right in one regard, we all have a choice.

Lord, from the wrong perspective the small gate and narrow path seem so difficult to those who do not have faith. The broad path, oh how they take comfort in it as it leads to their destruction and death. Have them see that you are a loving and caring God and that your way is just and holy. That any who confess you Jesus as Lord and Savior shall pass through the small gate freely and without burdon. In your name I pray. Amen.