James 3:9-10

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

I truly believe that I am called to be an example to the people around me, to those that see me everyday in my life. I believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Word of God so on a daily basis I attempt to find and live as God asks and Jesus showed me to live. I know this sounds hoity, or prideful, but it is the truth. I, in my heart, want to walk the walk and talk the talk. I hate hypocracy and therefore try to avoid it in myself at all cost. I could at this point go into how we all struggle, but we all know that of ourselve so I won't.

I think this fact in me, is why I related so well to Bonhoeffer when I was reading his biography. He understaood that your faith has to manifest into something real in this life. It has to live in this world and engauge the things that are going on around you. Your faith must have actions that back it up or it is not true faith. Bonehoeffer engauged Society, the Nazis, and did what was right in fighting against evil. He did not merely save all of his energy for personal treasure in heaven so much that he forgot about everything around him.

For me it can be a struggle, internally and externally to do the right thing here. To be a Christian at all times, in all ways. I will tell you straight out that being a Christian and to straight out Prostilatize outside of the gate here can get you punished or killed. So to in that instance my actions must speak to other my Christian faith and not my words. In other instances my internal conflict persisits. The wrestling with God over common matters. Simple frustration in a situation can cause the mind to begin to think through the appropriate actions, how should I handle this.

I have talked about myself from the past, and it is one of the things that can cause me to be self codemming if it comes out, and that is my anger. I have worked very hard bringing myself to a point where I can control my anger. For most of the occasions, when the warning signs withing begin to stir, I can very quickly go through some simple steps to keep it down. Formost I generally now reach in my pockets. I was given a cross here that is the size of my palm and I keep it in my left pocket. When my hand is there it becomes my reminder.

I also practice praying for my words to be good and of the Spirit. That I am helped to remain calm. Now I don't know if this is right or not but I also ask that the Lord work in the other person and help with what ever issue they may be having. Anger, I know, from experience is bread out of frustration so I try to establish in some way common understanding. I also stand on God's word that He will see me through any situation if I allow Him to and give it up to Him. So I purposedly think about that and give the situation to Him. Right, wrong or indifferent I must only try to maintain myself and stick to my Christian values.

I also, and I don't know if this is a good habit, started looking at the ground or in some way diverting my sight from the other person. I move, if I can into a position ninety degrees from the other. This is less threatening to them and helps me from getting overly manly, if you know what I mean. Staring ito the face of someone who is yelling at you or in someway upset with you can make your hair stand up, so I try to avoid it.

So let me get to the verse at hand. I was reading James as I know that my congregation at home has been doing the same. I want to be prepared for discussions and such and know where they are at when I am there for my R&R. So here I am reading and I come to this verse and I have to slow down a bit. This was has practical application to me. The other day, when I was having the "Bad Three" I guess I can call it, I lost my temper with another Manager. I lost my temper out in the open standing with the Camp Manager and him, with other people watching. As I had written the other day, my department was accussed of stealing the other day because of something he did and instead of him admitting it he just stood an lied about other things.

So I dropped an F Bomb on him. I have not uttered that word in six months and out it came. Along with calling him a liar to his face soon afterwards. I had tried all my tricks, even had my hands in my pockets when I said it but this time I just couldn't stop it. Within a few minutes my Manager was out there and asking us what was going on. He started to lie again, and stir up more trouble and, oh I was so pissed!

Later on that evening I was convicted, I went to the Camp Manager and asked him if during our next meeting if I could appologze to the Manager. That I didn't act properly and I felt I needed to. He didn't think I should but that didn't change my mind. So the next morning I stood in front of all of the Managers and appologized to this man for my behavior and the language that I used. I also appologized to them as I also represent the Camp Management and I shed a bad light on them as such in my actions. Of course the Camp Manager said again that I didn't need to appologize and the man said that I shouldn't worry about it, but I did, and it needed to be done.

So I read James and here it is, "With our tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in Gods likeness. Out of the mouth comes praise and cursing. My Brothers this should not be." So I sat and thought about this, I had done the right thing and followed the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Here, in God's Word was why. That this man was also made in God's image, that I should treat and should have treated him accorddingly. That my mouth that so often Praises God, should not be used to curse anything. That it must remain full of Goodness.

I know that some may read this and say it is ok, Mike. But I was very disappointed in myself. I was disappointed that I allowed the circumsatnces of anything of this world to cause me to stumble. That I bacame part of the world and the worlds expectations to how to react to this situation. He was lieing and you made sure that he knew it. Well I could have done that in so many other ways, the best of which would be to trust God's judgement on this. But I didn't, I stumbled and as such I repented and went back to the man and people I wronged.

If you are Saved, a Christian you should see what this is all telling you. You must continuosly work to remain pure and Holy. You must continually work to apply God's word in your life. You must say and do what the Bible tells you. You must keep your words good and pure as those that you speak to were made in His image. You must give these things to God and trust Him and when you don't or can't you must do what is right in God's eyes.

Struggle with this. Let it eat you up. Let your heart tell you when you have done wrong but don't let it become a festering mess inside you like I did for so many years. Give it to the Lord as you work it out.

Father, thank you for your word which has allowed me to move forward in this situation. Thak you for alolowing me to find good from this stumbling in my walk, an apllication that I see from your Word. Set this in my heart and let it become food for your fruit as I move on in my journey. I have not failed but found grace and humility. Amen.