Nervous.

I was able again to take a trip outside the front gate which for me is always a great experience. It started yesterday, when again, I was asked to go and help swap out some vehicles that are being leased by one of our Departments here at the Camp. Never one to miss the opportunity, of course I agreed.

Normally when I go out I like to go as natural as possible as I believe that it is less threatening and I can be the better it is. This time it was different. We had gone out yesterday and Lindsey the Supervisor wanted to go see the vehicles before they came in. Now not that I am sexist, but I was very uncomfortable to go out with her as there are never any woman out in the SOK Yard. As a matter of fact I have never even seen a Local woman out there, so I just took a little more care then normal.

So out we walked, Lindsey and the other Rich through the Clean SOK, through the XRay machine on steriods, and out into the Dirty SOK yard. Now as we passed the soldier, as if on cue he asked if we wanted escort to which I said no. In my mind this does nothing but draw even more attention to the fact that we are out there. As we moved towards the new vehicles the heads were turning and yes, it made me a little nervous.

The kids came running up to me as we arrived by the trucks and began to ask for coats and shoes. Only one of them was there the last time I went with coats so it was good to see his face. Now as I interacted with the children more attention then normal was being given to our presence then I had delt with in the past. It wasn't bad but obvious that they noticed a woman out there. I moved away abit from the area where the business of accepting the vehicles was taking place which in turn took some of the crowd from the area. Half an eye on the others with me and half on the children we completed our check and made arrangements to come back in the morning.

As I turned, there was the soldier and he asked if we were ok. I didn't like this as again I think it just adds tension that is unecessary. I feel that if I keep my heart humble and respectful to these other people and go with God in my mind, then I stand a pretty good chance of having a good experience and staying ok. Having the soldier there surprised me.

So in we went and back to the Camp. I was asked if I could go the next morning and drive a truck out and then drive one back in. This was new for me, so of course I accepted. Last night however I had a conversation with a co worker, as we stood and looked at the stars, about how on New Years eve, when we had had the bunker call, that it was due to two Italian Soldiers being killed. My friend had informed me that he had heard that just a few days ago they found two IED's ( Impravised Exploding Devices) an the access road just outside the gate. So maybe you are following me at this point.

My gut started to tell me that things may not be ok just to go outside to get these vehicles. We had made prior plans during the day to get the vehicles at a specific time. There had been recent trouble and we had a woman with us along with a Soldier which had atracted attention. So with that said in the morning I informed Lindsy that I would make sure that we had escort and that they were fully aware that we were outside.

So this morning out we go to the ECP and I asked for the escort Soldier. They also put a man up in the Tower on the 50 Cal, not what I was expecting. The neat thing was that I finally got to drive a vehicle out the front gate which was really exciting as I imagined briefly of just continuing once they opened the lift gate. However, the Soldier that was sitting in my vehicle would not have appreciated it if I had so I took the left down into the SOK Yard parking just past the new vehicles.

Now when I saythat the Yard was full, it was overflowing and it was rush hour with the line trying to get through the scan. Almost immediately we had the crew that ws delivering the trucks and about thrity other people around us. What was a very pleasent surprise for me was the littest boy who had recieved a coat came running up to me again, wearing his coat, and reached out to shake my hand. He was followed by the group of older boys.

This was the first time however I felt what I would describe as uncomfortable. I don't think it was so much for me but just the situation that was happening as the paperwork and keys were exchanged. This was reinforced when I asked the "Boss" of the car lease company how his night was in the SOK Yard and he stated that it was very scary and dangerous for him there. Doing business with the US is still not a welcome ventour in Afghanistan. He indicated though that he was willing to do this as he wanted to have a good relationship for his business.

Iteresting thing, the "Boss" showed us a picture of, who he said was his brother with President Obama. OK, it was on his cell phone and there is no way to prove it as real but it looked real. Also no way to prove it was his brother either but all the same interesting. Anyway, at this point a started to speed up the process. Shaking all of the mens hands and thanking them for their business. Also told my young friends that more coats were coming along with shoes. And we began to move to the cars and get ready to go back in.

I asked the Soldier to walk ahead as the crowd was still there and if we could cut to the front of the line of trucks so we didn't have to wait. He went to check as we waited. Right as I went to move one man came to the truck and opened the back door and began to place a fire extinguisher in under the lift up back seat. I asked what he was doing and he said it was supposed to be in the truck. I said "no that is ok, I can get a new one inside". Seriously now, all I am thinking is this is not good. Great that the guy is thinking of my safety but why was the fire extinguisher not in the truck already? Hmmm?

I don't know anything past that but the extinguisher did not make it back in the truck I was driving. The Soldier then waved us in, through the Xray machine on steriods and into the Clean SOK. there you wait as your scan gets looked at. I know the soldier that is out there and he and I spoke for a few minutes until we were approved, thankfully. I thought for a minute what I would do if all of a sudden they asked me to slowly get out of the truck. Not the case so off , through the lift gate and then into the main gate.

So the adveture was over and we drove back to our LSA. When we arrived I was asked by the others what I did with the fire extinguisher. I told them that I refused it and then said well we have ours. They asked me what they should do and myresponse was that they made it through Xray so not to worry about it but that I would have never taken it. Maybe next time they will remember.

In conclusion, please don't ever think that I am careless in my actions. My faith in God and that I am working in His will is first and for most. But "God don't like stupid" and I was not going to do anything stupid especially with other people involved. These people deserve my care and respect but that does not guarentee that they will return the favor. I am an American and that fact alone, puts me at risk. I pray that ultimately my small acts of kindness can change that fact. I see it in the face of my young friend and hopefully by the time I leave here in the faces of many others.

Lord, Jesus, we work and live in an area that still is in turmoil and does not understand your Grace and mercy. We in war so I ask for the protection of those that are here be it Afghan or American. Let your Spirit move through this land and one heart at a time change this place. I thank you for the blessings that you show me everyday. Amen.