Strange Days Are These!

I had been waiting for several days to bring coats and some shoes out to some of the men at the gate. Catherine had sent some for specific people and the box had been just sitting in my room waiting for me to have the opportunity to go out. The events of the last few days have for the most part filled most of my time and therefore my opportunity to get near the ECP.

Also becasue of these events I have been tried personally and found great victory over any type of anger that was so common in my life before. This is is one of the things that I can honestly say that on most occasions I am able to give directly to God and set my heart on Him and walk through without incident. I even stated this in yesterdays blog, how I had on several occasions was able to remain calm. I have thanked God continuiously over this and felt very good.

I was asked to go and assure that some vehicles that were waiting for had arrived in the SOK Yard. Bronging the coats and the shoes, I went out to talk with the men that brought them and arrange for the pick up. After the last time out, and the uncomfortablness that I had felt, this time I made no firm time with them, only that I would be back. There was no sign of the man that would recieve the coats for his family so I returned to my car and went back to the Camp.

Within about fifteen minutes I was able to find the Primaries for the vehicles and let them know that they were available. that I had indicated that anytime they were ready we could go back and get them. They decided that it would be best at that time and so within a half hour I was back at the ECP and we were on our way out. Now there has been an influx of new Soldiers as most of the Units are turning over so the group near the walk through area I had never met and of course, doing their duty, they asked where we were going.

Explaining that we were picking up two trucks from the SOK Yard the one Soldier asked if we would like an Escort. "No, we will be fine" I said. "Do you have any weapons?" he responded. "No sir, I don't but I will be ok". Now I always try to spirtually prepare for going outside the gate. I trust in God and I ask for guidance. Now here is the part that starts to weigh on me and then becomes the start of another off day. The Soldier says well it is very dangerous out there and I don't want American blood on the ground. Not that he was wrong but in a way it changes for me the heart a bit into a state of worry. I don't like being there.

So we get out and the first person I see is the littlest boy who recieved his coat a few wekks ago. He ran up smiling again, wearing the coat and het, and shook my hand. Very happy he walked along with us. Soon however the gathering of other boys came over. We had some candy for them and began to give it to them each so that they all got some. But at some point they got over zelous and began to reach into Lindseys pockets and she began to panic a bit. Peter, the other guy stepped up to her to get her away from them and I stepped in front of the kids. It was just very different.

Within a minute ofr so two of the boys began to fight, rolling on the ground. It wasn't good, and the one boy went off to the side crying. The boys at this point were very anxious and therefore it was causing a stir. Through the iterpreter I explained to the boys that if they continued fighting and grabbing that I would not be able to come out to them. That I would just have to stay inside. Lindsey was still a little shaken and they had her sitting in the car as they did the paperwork. I just felt bad, but I understand the excitment of some candy and things that they wouldn't normally have.

Once through the gate I exited that car to let the other two drive them back. My truck was parked close so I went to get the coats and shoes we had for the two men I had mentioned before. I was able to give them to the men without incident and explained to them that they were gifts from my family and that I was happy to give them to them. Both were very thankful. I was glad that I was finally able to bring them to them.

I t6hought alot about the boys during the day. How they would move to grabbing and fighting over small objects. I even thought again about being able to go to them again as if there is comotion then there is a security risk. I figured at this point that I may have to wait until after my R&R before I see them again. Almost a month at this point.

In the afternoon, I have to be honest, I finally lost my temper wioth all of this that had been going on. Again, my department was accussed of moving materials that they shouldn't have moved, basically stealing. This was not the case, but anything that moves is assumed that we moved it, So when materials ended up in another yard from where they should have been the Military questioned me.

I spent a long time building a good repuation based on my Christian values, honestyand integrety and always deal with people up front. This week as I said I was accused twice of stealing and once of being a racists. This second issue I was able to show the paperwork that we did what we were supposed to do and in fact it was another yard who had moved the material as part of a deal with somebody. The resulting conversations caused me to explode on the man who basically was trying to cover himself at my Departments expenses. Boom. Anyway, as all was said and done my boss stated that he knew that I had nothing to do with this or the accusations of the other man. Still hurts though. I formally appologized to the man this morning in the Managers meeting for my behavior and in being a poor representative of Management.

Such strange days these last few. I have drawn so close to the Lord over the past few months. My mind has turned to home for R&R and there has been so much trouble and turmoil around me that it has been difficult for me, as you can see from the above. Catherine stated it best that from all the work that is happening here. The coats and shoes, all of the items now being sent from the people in Florida for the Camp workers, the blog and all that it nothing more then Statan trying to set me off. To place in me a stumbling block that I would carry home with me.

I am glad she had said that, placed things into perspective for me. I can stand stronger now because I was wearing down. I can focus even more effort against the attack and at the very least leave the stumbling block behind. Through the fog sometimes it is hard to see the end of the journey. In battle you focus on the enemy at hand and not the entire battlefield. Yesterday my focus was on the trouble only in front of me, and I stumbled a bit, but have been able to stand back up.

No guarentees of everything going smoothly everytime. Nothing says you are not going to get hit when your are in a fight. Circumstances happen, we get caught up in them. People fail you and others descieve you. Some that have been good when you are with them all of a sudden aren't. It is not my fault and Stan can kiss my butt because I have walked through this and will banage myself and continue on.

Lord, what doesn't kill me will make me stronger. You are on my side and no matter what the turmoil is, I can find my way through if I look for the light. Your presence is always near and I must always have assurance of that. Thank you Lord. Amen.