James 3:9-10

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

I truly believe that I am called to be an example to the people around me, to those that see me everyday in my life. I believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Word of God so on a daily basis I attempt to find and live as God asks and Jesus showed me to live. I know this sounds hoity, or prideful, but it is the truth. I, in my heart, want to walk the walk and talk the talk. I hate hypocracy and therefore try to avoid it in myself at all cost. I could at this point go into how we all struggle, but we all know that of ourselve so I won't.

I think this fact in me, is why I related so well to Bonhoeffer when I was reading his biography. He understaood that your faith has to manifest into something real in this life. It has to live in this world and engauge the things that are going on around you. Your faith must have actions that back it up or it is not true faith. Bonehoeffer engauged Society, the Nazis, and did what was right in fighting against evil. He did not merely save all of his energy for personal treasure in heaven so much that he forgot about everything around him.

For me it can be a struggle, internally and externally to do the right thing here. To be a Christian at all times, in all ways. I will tell you straight out that being a Christian and to straight out Prostilatize outside of the gate here can get you punished or killed. So to in that instance my actions must speak to other my Christian faith and not my words. In other instances my internal conflict persisits. The wrestling with God over common matters. Simple frustration in a situation can cause the mind to begin to think through the appropriate actions, how should I handle this.

I have talked about myself from the past, and it is one of the things that can cause me to be self codemming if it comes out, and that is my anger. I have worked very hard bringing myself to a point where I can control my anger. For most of the occasions, when the warning signs withing begin to stir, I can very quickly go through some simple steps to keep it down. Formost I generally now reach in my pockets. I was given a cross here that is the size of my palm and I keep it in my left pocket. When my hand is there it becomes my reminder.

I also practice praying for my words to be good and of the Spirit. That I am helped to remain calm. Now I don't know if this is right or not but I also ask that the Lord work in the other person and help with what ever issue they may be having. Anger, I know, from experience is bread out of frustration so I try to establish in some way common understanding. I also stand on God's word that He will see me through any situation if I allow Him to and give it up to Him. So I purposedly think about that and give the situation to Him. Right, wrong or indifferent I must only try to maintain myself and stick to my Christian values.

I also, and I don't know if this is a good habit, started looking at the ground or in some way diverting my sight from the other person. I move, if I can into a position ninety degrees from the other. This is less threatening to them and helps me from getting overly manly, if you know what I mean. Staring ito the face of someone who is yelling at you or in someway upset with you can make your hair stand up, so I try to avoid it.

So let me get to the verse at hand. I was reading James as I know that my congregation at home has been doing the same. I want to be prepared for discussions and such and know where they are at when I am there for my R&R. So here I am reading and I come to this verse and I have to slow down a bit. This was has practical application to me. The other day, when I was having the "Bad Three" I guess I can call it, I lost my temper with another Manager. I lost my temper out in the open standing with the Camp Manager and him, with other people watching. As I had written the other day, my department was accussed of stealing the other day because of something he did and instead of him admitting it he just stood an lied about other things.

So I dropped an F Bomb on him. I have not uttered that word in six months and out it came. Along with calling him a liar to his face soon afterwards. I had tried all my tricks, even had my hands in my pockets when I said it but this time I just couldn't stop it. Within a few minutes my Manager was out there and asking us what was going on. He started to lie again, and stir up more trouble and, oh I was so pissed!

Later on that evening I was convicted, I went to the Camp Manager and asked him if during our next meeting if I could appologze to the Manager. That I didn't act properly and I felt I needed to. He didn't think I should but that didn't change my mind. So the next morning I stood in front of all of the Managers and appologized to this man for my behavior and the language that I used. I also appologized to them as I also represent the Camp Management and I shed a bad light on them as such in my actions. Of course the Camp Manager said again that I didn't need to appologize and the man said that I shouldn't worry about it, but I did, and it needed to be done.

So I read James and here it is, "With our tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in Gods likeness. Out of the mouth comes praise and cursing. My Brothers this should not be." So I sat and thought about this, I had done the right thing and followed the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Here, in God's Word was why. That this man was also made in God's image, that I should treat and should have treated him accorddingly. That my mouth that so often Praises God, should not be used to curse anything. That it must remain full of Goodness.

I know that some may read this and say it is ok, Mike. But I was very disappointed in myself. I was disappointed that I allowed the circumsatnces of anything of this world to cause me to stumble. That I bacame part of the world and the worlds expectations to how to react to this situation. He was lieing and you made sure that he knew it. Well I could have done that in so many other ways, the best of which would be to trust God's judgement on this. But I didn't, I stumbled and as such I repented and went back to the man and people I wronged.

If you are Saved, a Christian you should see what this is all telling you. You must continuosly work to remain pure and Holy. You must continually work to apply God's word in your life. You must say and do what the Bible tells you. You must keep your words good and pure as those that you speak to were made in His image. You must give these things to God and trust Him and when you don't or can't you must do what is right in God's eyes.

Struggle with this. Let it eat you up. Let your heart tell you when you have done wrong but don't let it become a festering mess inside you like I did for so many years. Give it to the Lord as you work it out.

Father, thank you for your word which has allowed me to move forward in this situation. Thak you for alolowing me to find good from this stumbling in my walk, an apllication that I see from your Word. Set this in my heart and let it become food for your fruit as I move on in my journey. I have not failed but found grace and humility. Amen.

Strange Days Are These!

I had been waiting for several days to bring coats and some shoes out to some of the men at the gate. Catherine had sent some for specific people and the box had been just sitting in my room waiting for me to have the opportunity to go out. The events of the last few days have for the most part filled most of my time and therefore my opportunity to get near the ECP.

Also becasue of these events I have been tried personally and found great victory over any type of anger that was so common in my life before. This is is one of the things that I can honestly say that on most occasions I am able to give directly to God and set my heart on Him and walk through without incident. I even stated this in yesterdays blog, how I had on several occasions was able to remain calm. I have thanked God continuiously over this and felt very good.

I was asked to go and assure that some vehicles that were waiting for had arrived in the SOK Yard. Bronging the coats and the shoes, I went out to talk with the men that brought them and arrange for the pick up. After the last time out, and the uncomfortablness that I had felt, this time I made no firm time with them, only that I would be back. There was no sign of the man that would recieve the coats for his family so I returned to my car and went back to the Camp.

Within about fifteen minutes I was able to find the Primaries for the vehicles and let them know that they were available. that I had indicated that anytime they were ready we could go back and get them. They decided that it would be best at that time and so within a half hour I was back at the ECP and we were on our way out. Now there has been an influx of new Soldiers as most of the Units are turning over so the group near the walk through area I had never met and of course, doing their duty, they asked where we were going.

Explaining that we were picking up two trucks from the SOK Yard the one Soldier asked if we would like an Escort. "No, we will be fine" I said. "Do you have any weapons?" he responded. "No sir, I don't but I will be ok". Now I always try to spirtually prepare for going outside the gate. I trust in God and I ask for guidance. Now here is the part that starts to weigh on me and then becomes the start of another off day. The Soldier says well it is very dangerous out there and I don't want American blood on the ground. Not that he was wrong but in a way it changes for me the heart a bit into a state of worry. I don't like being there.

So we get out and the first person I see is the littlest boy who recieved his coat a few wekks ago. He ran up smiling again, wearing the coat and het, and shook my hand. Very happy he walked along with us. Soon however the gathering of other boys came over. We had some candy for them and began to give it to them each so that they all got some. But at some point they got over zelous and began to reach into Lindseys pockets and she began to panic a bit. Peter, the other guy stepped up to her to get her away from them and I stepped in front of the kids. It was just very different.

Within a minute ofr so two of the boys began to fight, rolling on the ground. It wasn't good, and the one boy went off to the side crying. The boys at this point were very anxious and therefore it was causing a stir. Through the iterpreter I explained to the boys that if they continued fighting and grabbing that I would not be able to come out to them. That I would just have to stay inside. Lindsey was still a little shaken and they had her sitting in the car as they did the paperwork. I just felt bad, but I understand the excitment of some candy and things that they wouldn't normally have.

Once through the gate I exited that car to let the other two drive them back. My truck was parked close so I went to get the coats and shoes we had for the two men I had mentioned before. I was able to give them to the men without incident and explained to them that they were gifts from my family and that I was happy to give them to them. Both were very thankful. I was glad that I was finally able to bring them to them.

I t6hought alot about the boys during the day. How they would move to grabbing and fighting over small objects. I even thought again about being able to go to them again as if there is comotion then there is a security risk. I figured at this point that I may have to wait until after my R&R before I see them again. Almost a month at this point.

In the afternoon, I have to be honest, I finally lost my temper wioth all of this that had been going on. Again, my department was accussed of moving materials that they shouldn't have moved, basically stealing. This was not the case, but anything that moves is assumed that we moved it, So when materials ended up in another yard from where they should have been the Military questioned me.

I spent a long time building a good repuation based on my Christian values, honestyand integrety and always deal with people up front. This week as I said I was accused twice of stealing and once of being a racists. This second issue I was able to show the paperwork that we did what we were supposed to do and in fact it was another yard who had moved the material as part of a deal with somebody. The resulting conversations caused me to explode on the man who basically was trying to cover himself at my Departments expenses. Boom. Anyway, as all was said and done my boss stated that he knew that I had nothing to do with this or the accusations of the other man. Still hurts though. I formally appologized to the man this morning in the Managers meeting for my behavior and in being a poor representative of Management.

Such strange days these last few. I have drawn so close to the Lord over the past few months. My mind has turned to home for R&R and there has been so much trouble and turmoil around me that it has been difficult for me, as you can see from the above. Catherine stated it best that from all the work that is happening here. The coats and shoes, all of the items now being sent from the people in Florida for the Camp workers, the blog and all that it nothing more then Statan trying to set me off. To place in me a stumbling block that I would carry home with me.

I am glad she had said that, placed things into perspective for me. I can stand stronger now because I was wearing down. I can focus even more effort against the attack and at the very least leave the stumbling block behind. Through the fog sometimes it is hard to see the end of the journey. In battle you focus on the enemy at hand and not the entire battlefield. Yesterday my focus was on the trouble only in front of me, and I stumbled a bit, but have been able to stand back up.

No guarentees of everything going smoothly everytime. Nothing says you are not going to get hit when your are in a fight. Circumstances happen, we get caught up in them. People fail you and others descieve you. Some that have been good when you are with them all of a sudden aren't. It is not my fault and Stan can kiss my butt because I have walked through this and will banage myself and continue on.

Lord, what doesn't kill me will make me stronger. You are on my side and no matter what the turmoil is, I can find my way through if I look for the light. Your presence is always near and I must always have assurance of that. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Preperation

I am beginning to prepare for my R&R that is coming up, mentally. It is almost like the anticipation you had when you were a kid regarding Christmas. You would have all these ideas of what things would be like without being one hundred percent positive of what it would be, eager but at the same time nervous. I will also through in a sense of relief to it becasue R&R is definately and opportunity to truly relax and let go of the work that we do here.

I am anxious, but not in a bad way, because I want so desperately to see the ones I love, Catherine and the kids. I want to just enjoy their company, to look at their faces when they speak, not just hear their voices. I want to see my children smile and laugh. I want to smell my wifes perfume and hold her when I sleep. To have my family near and real rather then just images in my mind.

I look forward t0o seeing my friends, the people that are closest to me. My Brothers whom I fellowship with. These are the people that have strengthened me as I have been here, who either on purpose or inadvertantly have helped my grow. They have held me up and held me accountable through my toughest times.

I look so forward to returning to my Church family. Even though my time here is to serve the troops, the real purpose is to grow in the Lord. The draw on my heart is to return with a message. To come back with my experiences and to share them for the benefit of the congregation. My time here has always been bigger then just here, it has been about God and that should not be just mine, that must be shared.

I even look forward to the cold. To stand outside and breath in the crisp air and let it sting my lungs. To stand outside in the quietness of a snow storm, hearing the snow flakes as they touch the ground.

So many things I can think of that I would love to do. So many people that I want to see, and so little time. The time as I said must be worth it, both from here and on R&R. I see it also in a way as a Mission Trip and not just a return home. Catherine and I will balance family and friends, but my heart is everyday, church. Everyday can be spent in the lifting of someone, the speaking of a message. I pray now for that message.

Today is Sunday, and today I have planned to clean my travel bag and to prepare my documentation. To think of the things I will need and the timing of my trip. It is still two weeks away but you can never be too ready.

Lord Jesus, begin to prepare my heart now, release my burdons and begin to shift my focus toward my work at home. Allow the SPirit to rest in me as I prepare to rest. No stress, no worries, no matters, just confidence in you and the good works that will be done at my home. Amen.

The Way Through.

I have the ache back a little today and it is throughing me off a bit. It is unusaul, not that I have the ache, but that it is throwing me off some. I am attributing it a bit to the fact that I had to send three employees back to KAF based on the recent event around here. One of themI just didn't want to see go, Rosvand, as he was very good at his job and was actually a friend of sorts to me. Unfortunately, the descision was not mine to make in regards to him staying.

The other two gentlemen, I can't really say that I was sad to see them go. I know that may be harsh from me but they really did not attempt to come into the Dedpartment and do things the way we needed them done. I had given them many opportunities to "man up" and "do the right thing" but they didn't heed my advise. Now so you understand I gave them a tremendous amout of opportunity to come around. I even warned them that if it cam e down to a formal sit down I would be well prepared. I was, they weren't and actually I didn't have to say very much about the situation as they brought themselves down. I do wish them the best and hopefully they will be reassigned to somewhere better suited for them.

With what these three men did it also painted a bad light on the On BAse Transportation Department. Too many issues around too few people and that is not good. I worked for many months here building a reputation and dealing with people upfront and honestly and it is hard now to listen to the comments reagrding the Department. I am swallowing them, if I don't then Satan will prevail. The best I can do is continue to do the right thing and walk on the good side of this. It would be too easy fro me to try to overexplain something that only needs an appology and to move on.

The reality of all this is that I am being tried by this siotuation and in running the part of the Department with Drivers. For me it is very similar to the situation I was in when I was still with Hess, and the last year before I was saved. Thankfully that is the difference, I am saved. So I see how if I didn't have Christ to look to. If I was still falling short of his glory and turning to the bottle. How this would be affecting me. So I am having the same feelings right now but I am finding the truth of God a far better resource for me then anything else in dealing with it.

So the ache is an emotional ache, it is the swallowing of a lot of things and probably what was my anxiety before, in the past. It is the anger and hurt, the pride and the pain all trying to get out and my mind saying no. You don't need to go anywhere, give it to God. So I sit writing and giving it to God. Aslo thanking Him for the path to do that, through Jesus Christ.

Lord Jesus, the path is narrow but we are all capable of staying on it if we want. I am able by focussing on you to not step from the path. You give me the light in the darkness and the truth that stands firm, that if I lay my fears and worries at your feet, you will see me through. I thank you and praise you for my salvation, I thank and praise you. Amen.

Dive, Dive, Dive!

Wow, wow, wow and for good measure, wow. I am just getting tried left and right today. Thank God I have Him on my side and I have remained absolutely focussed on Him this morning. If anybody, Catherine, Dad, Mom, Harrison and Anna has ever seen me loose my temper before then you all would just sit back and thank God also for the patience I have had this morning. I didn't even bat and eye at the junk that has been thrown at me.

Just for starters and opposite the subject at hand, but reklevant in my mind is that I planned today to bring three coats and a pair of shoes out to some people that needed them today. It was on my heart and if all goes well I may still be able to do so. As a matter of fact because of the extent of all the other issues it may be the perfect day to represent Christ to someone who may not otherwise ever meet Him. To get to the point on this, I see this as an attach to knock me off stride from the belssings at hand for Gods Kingdom.

So this day, started where yesterday left off. I had to perform the counselling with the individuals that took so much of my time yesterday at 0830 after my other meetings. Except for a one hour break which had its own issues, these took four hours and it is still not finnished. Hopefully it will be concluded tomorrrow at this point.

Today, was the day to Counsel the men from yesterday as I mentioned. This is when we formally repremand somebody for conduct related to their job. It is strange here that conduct outside of your on the clock hours here can get you thrown out in a second, but when you are on the clock you have to go through the formal process that you would in the states. They both can result in the same thing, but handled completely differently. Anyway, counseling, this is the opportunity fpor the employee to sit and based on what I have written tell their side of the story on things. This is sometimes, and in this case, where the challenge comes in for me.

Teach a man to fish and he will fish for life, give him an audience and he will talk for ever also. It is ok though, I have learned that if I just let someone who is not performing to the expectations that are set talk they generally will talk them selves out of a job. I have also learned that I dont run up against a brick wall, I will take them down one brick at a time. Step by step, until I am in the position that I need to be in where, again, I wont have to say a word.

Today, I listen for the majority of time of just all the things that I am just not good at, don't do right. Why the company should know whats going on, etc, etc, etc. All because two men have not on multiple occasions followed the direction of their Supervisor. Instead of just doing what is asked of them, we end up here. I I have to sit and smile as I hear all this.

Now the break in the middle was just long enough to be accused of stealing four pallets of 2 x 6's by an officer who saw it leaving his yard yesterday. Funny thing about running MHE, anything that moves has to move with your help. Fortunately I have developed a reputation of doing things the way they are supposed to be done and being honest. It just happens that the Department that we were moving the material for had made a deal, and then on the paperwork that was submitted written the information down incorrectly. Basically, he was trying to pull a fast one and wouldn't own up to it. Again, though I was able to stand on what I know, keep telling myself that everything was ok, and that it would be alright.

Really, up till this point, I have just had a rough day in a worldly sense. But unlike any other time in my life, it has not negatively impacted my personal well being. Yes I felt attacked, and put on the spot, stressed and at some moments angry, but it din't manifest itself in anyway that it would have six months ago. In that I am so thankful and I sit here thinking, wow, Jesus Christ was correct, the truth does set you free. That I can be in the world and not of the world. I can live in his promises during my regular day and be ok.

So the title of this blog was dive, dive, dive because all I could think of was the old submarine movies when they were being attacked. The alarms would sound and everyone would get to their battle stations. Then silence once they had gone deep. Well? When danger comes my friends, when just the day comes and it may take you away from Him, get to your battle station. Prepare and then wait. Be silient and run deep in your faith. It has gotten me past the worst of this place nand I trust my instructors training. Jesus hasn't lied to me yet.

Lord God, i pray for the well being of the men under my care, the two from today and the others. That in all ways I try to do what is right for them and lead the best way I know how. Allow me also to maintain a just and fair heart. I also ask that today strengthen me and my faith. Amen.

Employee Issues.

I am just tasked out today. That means that I just haven't stopped since I have gotten up this morning. One thing after another, and it seems not to stop. This makes the day go by faster but it is tiring.

Most of the time has been just dealing with Employee and employee issues. Starting at 0530 I had to meet with the Bus Drivers and give them their briefing. Review of Safety and also of any imporotant issues they should know about that are coming up. For instance today, we spoke of the Superbowl Party and Game that is upcoming. Here it will start at 0410 in the morning Monday. They are all invited so I will adjust the schedules accordingly. We are also haveiing a Safety Audit of the camp so we reviewed som of the basics with them. Anything that may be important to them, their lives and how they do their jobs we try to cover.

The at 0600 I meat with my Truck Drivers and at 0630 the Equipment Operators. These two groups got the same information as the Bus Drivers but for them some additions. They recieved group Verbal Counseling. No this is not a therapy session, it is an opportunbity for me to set expectations for them and have them signof that they understand the expecations. In this case it was wearing their Hard hats and safety vests on the job sites. The Couseling allows me to follow up with them in a formal manner if we catch them not complying.

Then I have a 0730 metting for the Operation and Maintenace (O&M)of the Camp followed by the meeting at 0800 to discuss Letter of Technical Direction (LOTD). This I am not to involved in but occasionally they need my departments support and I need to be prepared. So At around 0830 I should be able to sit down for a bit and get something done. Nope.

A few questions from some other Departments and then I am off to look at a critical mission of moving 100 Texas Walls (TWalls) that are 18 feet tall each and weigh 21, 000 pounds each. they are used for force protection and they are in a area that is now slated to become a Jet Way for the new flight line. Back to the office and now the fun starts, employee issue.

I have a man who I saw on three occasions this morning that apperently has trouble following tyhe instructions of his Supervisor. He again was off mission and doing something that he was not supposed to be doing. See he has a habit of descideing what is better for the Department on his own and therefore performing tasks that he thought he should do besides what he was told. He was not where he was supposed to be and I had to find him.

This is the stuff that for me is the biggest test of my patience. I will say up front that I remianed composed, and have on all the occasions in the past regarding this individual. I am experienced enough to know how to dot my I's and cross my T's with these types until they self destruct. I only then can produce all of the facts that are required to assist them in doing so. You see to me, I think I have said it before, I manage to expectations. I dont get personal, I dont need to. Employees are asked to perform a certain way, given the tools and information they need, asked if they need anything else and when they deviate from that then I can help them adjust. If this happens over and over again, I help them find something more suitable for themselves.

So after finding the individuals, a long discussion occurred regarding the expectations and why there was deviation from them. Each area of gray that I came across, I clear up with straight forward yes or no questions. If it gets greyer (if that is a word) my questions become more direct. The idea here is not to form an opinion only to gather the facts and when directions weren't followed the facts are hard to come by. So you see what may have filled fortry five minutes of my time. Teadious to say the least.

A brief stop to see Lt. Col. Manning and back to the office right back into another person looking for me. This issue not so hard but still taking a few minutes to work out and get a direction set for the individuals involved. Finaly I am sitting at my desk, it is now 11:45 and I am thinking, what should I write about. The days events are always my fall back.

But here is the thing that kept running through my mind. I wonder if God feels this way about us? Does He just shake His head and say I could be so much more productive for, well everything that I have created, if I didn't have to deal with all these little issues. Why can't these people just perform to the expectations I have set for them? I have spelled it all out, given them verbal counseling, I have given them written couseling. I have even given them discipline whe they just have gone too far and they still won't just do their jobs. I will give them everythintg they ask for, even more, anything they ask for if they just listened to me.

Do you think God says that? Do you think He wonders when people are going to get it and just do they are supposed to do, as Christians, as human beings?

Lord, Help me continue to have patience with these men. Help me be the Leader that you call me to be, a Servant in your name. Forgive me any tresspass and those who tresspass against me. None of us are perfect but we can place in our hearts the will to live to you expectations. We can do that by declaring Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and following Him as our example.
Amen.

Nervous.

I was able again to take a trip outside the front gate which for me is always a great experience. It started yesterday, when again, I was asked to go and help swap out some vehicles that are being leased by one of our Departments here at the Camp. Never one to miss the opportunity, of course I agreed.

Normally when I go out I like to go as natural as possible as I believe that it is less threatening and I can be the better it is. This time it was different. We had gone out yesterday and Lindsey the Supervisor wanted to go see the vehicles before they came in. Now not that I am sexist, but I was very uncomfortable to go out with her as there are never any woman out in the SOK Yard. As a matter of fact I have never even seen a Local woman out there, so I just took a little more care then normal.

So out we walked, Lindsey and the other Rich through the Clean SOK, through the XRay machine on steriods, and out into the Dirty SOK yard. Now as we passed the soldier, as if on cue he asked if we wanted escort to which I said no. In my mind this does nothing but draw even more attention to the fact that we are out there. As we moved towards the new vehicles the heads were turning and yes, it made me a little nervous.

The kids came running up to me as we arrived by the trucks and began to ask for coats and shoes. Only one of them was there the last time I went with coats so it was good to see his face. Now as I interacted with the children more attention then normal was being given to our presence then I had delt with in the past. It wasn't bad but obvious that they noticed a woman out there. I moved away abit from the area where the business of accepting the vehicles was taking place which in turn took some of the crowd from the area. Half an eye on the others with me and half on the children we completed our check and made arrangements to come back in the morning.

As I turned, there was the soldier and he asked if we were ok. I didn't like this as again I think it just adds tension that is unecessary. I feel that if I keep my heart humble and respectful to these other people and go with God in my mind, then I stand a pretty good chance of having a good experience and staying ok. Having the soldier there surprised me.

So in we went and back to the Camp. I was asked if I could go the next morning and drive a truck out and then drive one back in. This was new for me, so of course I accepted. Last night however I had a conversation with a co worker, as we stood and looked at the stars, about how on New Years eve, when we had had the bunker call, that it was due to two Italian Soldiers being killed. My friend had informed me that he had heard that just a few days ago they found two IED's ( Impravised Exploding Devices) an the access road just outside the gate. So maybe you are following me at this point.

My gut started to tell me that things may not be ok just to go outside to get these vehicles. We had made prior plans during the day to get the vehicles at a specific time. There had been recent trouble and we had a woman with us along with a Soldier which had atracted attention. So with that said in the morning I informed Lindsy that I would make sure that we had escort and that they were fully aware that we were outside.

So this morning out we go to the ECP and I asked for the escort Soldier. They also put a man up in the Tower on the 50 Cal, not what I was expecting. The neat thing was that I finally got to drive a vehicle out the front gate which was really exciting as I imagined briefly of just continuing once they opened the lift gate. However, the Soldier that was sitting in my vehicle would not have appreciated it if I had so I took the left down into the SOK Yard parking just past the new vehicles.

Now when I saythat the Yard was full, it was overflowing and it was rush hour with the line trying to get through the scan. Almost immediately we had the crew that ws delivering the trucks and about thrity other people around us. What was a very pleasent surprise for me was the littest boy who had recieved a coat came running up to me again, wearing his coat, and reached out to shake my hand. He was followed by the group of older boys.

This was the first time however I felt what I would describe as uncomfortable. I don't think it was so much for me but just the situation that was happening as the paperwork and keys were exchanged. This was reinforced when I asked the "Boss" of the car lease company how his night was in the SOK Yard and he stated that it was very scary and dangerous for him there. Doing business with the US is still not a welcome ventour in Afghanistan. He indicated though that he was willing to do this as he wanted to have a good relationship for his business.

Iteresting thing, the "Boss" showed us a picture of, who he said was his brother with President Obama. OK, it was on his cell phone and there is no way to prove it as real but it looked real. Also no way to prove it was his brother either but all the same interesting. Anyway, at this point a started to speed up the process. Shaking all of the mens hands and thanking them for their business. Also told my young friends that more coats were coming along with shoes. And we began to move to the cars and get ready to go back in.

I asked the Soldier to walk ahead as the crowd was still there and if we could cut to the front of the line of trucks so we didn't have to wait. He went to check as we waited. Right as I went to move one man came to the truck and opened the back door and began to place a fire extinguisher in under the lift up back seat. I asked what he was doing and he said it was supposed to be in the truck. I said "no that is ok, I can get a new one inside". Seriously now, all I am thinking is this is not good. Great that the guy is thinking of my safety but why was the fire extinguisher not in the truck already? Hmmm?

I don't know anything past that but the extinguisher did not make it back in the truck I was driving. The Soldier then waved us in, through the Xray machine on steriods and into the Clean SOK. there you wait as your scan gets looked at. I know the soldier that is out there and he and I spoke for a few minutes until we were approved, thankfully. I thought for a minute what I would do if all of a sudden they asked me to slowly get out of the truck. Not the case so off , through the lift gate and then into the main gate.

So the adveture was over and we drove back to our LSA. When we arrived I was asked by the others what I did with the fire extinguisher. I told them that I refused it and then said well we have ours. They asked me what they should do and myresponse was that they made it through Xray so not to worry about it but that I would have never taken it. Maybe next time they will remember.

In conclusion, please don't ever think that I am careless in my actions. My faith in God and that I am working in His will is first and for most. But "God don't like stupid" and I was not going to do anything stupid especially with other people involved. These people deserve my care and respect but that does not guarentee that they will return the favor. I am an American and that fact alone, puts me at risk. I pray that ultimately my small acts of kindness can change that fact. I see it in the face of my young friend and hopefully by the time I leave here in the faces of many others.

Lord, Jesus, we work and live in an area that still is in turmoil and does not understand your Grace and mercy. We in war so I ask for the protection of those that are here be it Afghan or American. Let your Spirit move through this land and one heart at a time change this place. I thank you for the blessings that you show me everyday. Amen.

A Quick Visit

I feel kinda bad as I sit here right now as it is 1:14 in the afternoon and I am just getting to my blog. The thing is that I don't even know how much time I have at this point that I can spend with it.

You see, this morning we were given notice that the Project Manager and all of the Senior Staff for Afghanistan were stopping by for a quick visit. I was asked by the O&M Manager to get a vehicle to transport everyone around for the tour. I ended up playing Chouffer for the morning which was nice because I got to rub elbows with the guys in the know, at least here in Dyn Corp.

Silly me I got several pictures of them along the way. Sometimes I feel a little weird taking pictures of the things that I do but these are my memories and I want them to last forever. So I got a picture with the PM and some with the staff. Then I took lots of pictures of them looking at stuff around the Camp. Just things to remember.

I also stood around like a bump on the wall some of the time. At each stop I was just the other guy with them. Waiting for them to do what they needed and then drive them to the next stop. part of the time, just because I can't help myself, I played tour guide also. Pointing out some of the things that I thought would interest them.

Within an hour and a half we were back on the Flight Line dropping them off. Their plane of course is on their schedule and waited for them to show back up. Within a few minutes on they got and off they went to their next stop.

I was then surprised when I returned to the tent by my Boss returning from R&R. I was not sure when he would be here and today, here he was. So as I write this quickly I prepare myself to debrief with him as a month has passed dince I have seen him. Thus the shortness.

One interesting note, the PM did know that I was having items sent to the Camp for the Foriegn Nationals. He was quite happy about that and explained about my father writing an article for the News Paper and how I p[lanned on helping these workers out here. They were pleased with that. I explained that they had needs that needed to be met and they serve our Troops as any other man here does. It was recieved well.

So I bid you good day and Gods Blessings. Remeber to do what is Good and Holy for those that need you. Be it for the PM or the FN, doing the right thing is always right.

Lord, thank you for this morning.

Worship and Fellowship

May the Power of the Lord rain down, amen.
May the Power of the Lord rain dow - ow - ow -n
May the power of the Lord, yes from Heaven, rain down
May the Power of the Lord rain down.

May the Healing of the Lord rain down, amen.
May the Healing of the Lord rain dow - ow - ow - n
May the Healing of the Lord, yes from Heaven, rain down
May the Healing of the Lord rain down.

Continue along just changing the subject and there you have a simple song of worship! This one, and I may have written about before, if so I am doing it again, is from my Kenyan brothers.

I Love singing this song to myself as I walk around during the day. It has an easy tempo to it and the words I can remember so I think that is why I like it so well. I do have a slightly jazzy version that I cn do, but the other guys don't like it. Anyway, it is worship and sometimes that is all I need to set my focus again where it needs to be.

Yesterday, turned out to be a very nice day. I invited my friend Tyrone to Church which he was very pleased about as he tends to forget or be too busy to get away. He at I believe almost 62 is going to start seminary classes on line and then finish when he returns home. His church is actually helping sponsor him and will hold him accountable throughout the courses. So he is a good Brother and we often have very nice discussions to strengthen our faith. He unfortunately will be leaving in the next few days for a State Department job in Kabul.

Anyway we walked to and from church together and the weather was, again, perfect for it. This gives us some time to talk and fellowship before the service. Anyway, when we got into the Mayor Flex area (this is where all the Camp Services are, PX, GYM, Basketball Court, Chapel and Post Office) I saw the young Afghan vendor who has been around here for a while selling items to us. Probably not more then seventeen, he runs a good little business here. Anyway, as I walked up to say hi, he asked what I was carring. Of course it was my Bible and as he reached out his hand I rerached out the Bible and handed it to Him.

I love these moments! This si the second time this has happened here with me in this same way. I responded that it was the Jahil, the Bible. We had a brief discussion, I was able to wittness Jesus a little, and then we spoke of God and how some Nuslims andChristians memorize the Holy books. It was brief but what a way to boost the Spirits for me.

Tyrone, he was surprised a bit as I told him how I love those blessings. They appear to me as "softballs" pitched by God so that we can just smack them out of the park. I know that others would shy away from such encounters, especially based on the risks here, but not me here. It has become easier for me to have the conversational type interactions with people as throughout my time that is how the majority of my wittness has been.

So anyway, we went to the Chapel and enjoyed another very nice service from the Chaplin. He is Baptist, I won't hold that against him, and did his sermon on Communion and it's importance. He was so right about it being of our fellowship with the Lord and the strengthening of the body. Overall just very good and uplifting.

I saw Seth, and Richard, Frank all of my Brothers. It has become a good fellowship and it is always nice to be around those that you care about so much and who share their lives so closely. In light of the sermon it even ment more. There is you know the ever present air of change at the Camp and nothing here is permenate including these friends which makes each meeting one closer to our goodbyes. Richard and the Chaplin will be leaving in a month. Others sooner and some later but always changing. Can you imagine each close friend that you have only having at the most one year to spend with them. Some as little as six months. You learn to cherish each other quickly.

Anyway, we left the Chapel and walked to get some lunch and then back to the LSA. I walked then over to the Carpentry shop[ where the men were tasked to build a casket for a fallen Special Forces Dog killed in the line of duty. He will recieve Full Honors from the Military so they wanted something nice for the dog to rest in. Thankfully I was able to help with the build for the rest of the day, sanding, but helped which was special. The look on the handlers face when he cam to look was awesome. He was really happy that his pal would not just be in a cardboard box.

So as I said, the day was good. I kept a worship song in my head. Felowshiped with a friend. Wittnessed Jesus Christ to a Muslim man. Worshiped again and fellowshiped with many believers and ended the day doing something good for a Soldier. Great day.

May the Anoiting of the Lord rain down, Amen.
May the anointing of the Lord rain dow-ow-ow-n.
May the anointing of the Lord, from Heaven, rain down.
May the anointing of the Lord rain down.

Lord Jesus, may we learn to continually learn to be in worship to you. May our lives be in fellowship to other believers and our lives be a constant wittness of you. Praise God. Amen.

James 4:7 Resist The Devil

"Submit therfore to God. Resist the Devil and he will flee from you"

James 4:7

I have to do the first part of this evryday. I believe that everyone should do this everyday but some of you haven't gotten to that point yet. Anyway, my heart is 7,000 miles to the left of this place back in New York State. It is a conscience effort every day to stay here. I have even had Soldiers make that comment that if they had a choice like I did they would be home. So each day you work through the reasons why you are here.

For me, that is what I do. Get on my knees after getting dressed and just submit myself to him at that point. Put the day right in His hands. Then I go to the office to call home and start my Bible reading. Not that we lament about things or go over the I miss you's and stuff but we talk about the days events. We keep up on what each part of our divided family is doing. I can't help at this point to feel some of the sting of the seperation, some lonliness and whatever other emotion you want to through in. But I am way past it dragging me down for one simple reason. I submit to God.

After getting my men started I spend time in the coolests prayer closet I know. I walk out and stand by my tree and look out across the open space of the runway and out into the mountains. It is almost pure darkness accept for the blue runway lights and some light from the far side buildings. Stars and moon bright as you can imagine. Predator Drones taking off and C130 landing out of nowhere. ( As a side note, it will scare you to death if you are unprepared but the 130's come in with no lights until they are just over the runway, so all of a sudden woosh, they appear and then hit their brakes and slow down.)

Anyway, this prayer closet is where I start and it starts as I said, submitting myself to Him. I don't ask for a stinking thing, just submit. But now, like today, the battle starts. Once I feel the connection and the presence of God, then I let have it to the devil. To those that don't believe in heaven and hell you may not understand this, but the devil is real and he wants the worst for you. Now fighting him in my mind has become easier. I used to get all fancy, begging and pleading for things. Asking that a specific event or something be taken away, but not now. I have God with me.

I have given myself to Him. I stand in fellowship and thereofre the Lord Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit and God my Father are right there with me. They are there to assure that nothing can harm me. Now remeber, this means harm me eternally, I must understand this. Nothing now will seprate me from God which is what satan is attempting to do. I have my sword, which God has given me. Today for the first time I actually invisioned the Words that I spoke as the blade in my hand. This is the my weapon. I speak the words of truth and I know that the devil will flee.

This isn't something that comes naturally to us. Our flesh wants to resist and stay where it is comfortable. Our minds fight us with reason and tell us that we can't do anything about the things of this world. This was the case for me as I stood only in half the truth. I stood only believing some of the Gospel. I will tell you the necessity will force you to go deeper if you let it. Practice, working out my faith, through my fear and emotions has brought me past the simple follish reason of this world into confidence in God and His word.

Now I am not some superior warrior. I am not even good at this, yet, but I am far better at it than I have ever been. You can also be better at it. Start by knowing that what God has told you is true. Start living as a Christian that believes this into your soul. This will take you a lifetime to perfect. Then stop being a victim. I was a victim here for a while, I allowed satan to twist me up and spit me out into a pit of remorse each day. Until I started looking up each day and stopped being that victim, then I could begin to take the offensive.

Once you get youself set on this, then turn to Gods Will and Word for the rest. Speak it in your prayers and ask for nothing less then being in His will, submitting to what He have you do for the day. Remember, your life is not your own, you are a child of God, but when you give up your life you will gain so much more through this submission. Now fight, because there is nothing left for you to lose. Fight because all that you have is in the hands of God and the devil has no way to touch it. Fight because the victory is already yours, because it was Jesus Christs on the cross.

Wow, get back Satan! Look out day because you have me here walking with Him and I am about to kick your asumptions of me out into the dirt. Really, you must bring your mind to this point and you will walk each day in such a better place. Frankly, God did not expect us to be weak and feable in our ways of Spiritual battle, Jesus was not. He wants us to love what is good and hate sin and evil. He wants us in the frame of mind as a righteous victor not a spineless whimpering follower.

Lord God, you word is our sword, a weopon that you have given us to fight against the devil. You call us by your side so that we may be shoulder to shoulder with you in fellowship and so that we may fight together this battle here on earth. Give all of us today that read this the heart of one who has nothing to lose, the heart of a victor. Give those that do not know you the heart that will alow you to come to them so they may also have this victory. Amen.

Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Raomans 5:8

So think of the worst guy you know. Some real SOB, that just no matter what, he is just nasty. Drinks too much, gets drunk, swearing, anger and pig headed. Add anything else that you might know from personal experience of somone like this. Someone you just can't stand to be around and as a matter of fact you don't if you cn help it.

Also think of someone who just isn't honest with those around them. They can't be trusted with anything. Secrets aren't secrets, and you just feel that you are being sold a load of goods all the time. Friendly as all get out, overly friendly as a matter of fact, but they just get under your skin becasue you know that they aren't what they show.

Thnk about anyone that isn't just they way you are, anyone that doesn't do the things that you do, in the way that you do them and that annoys you because of it. Think of those that are disobediant, prideful, pompus, arrogant, whatever it may be that you just don't like. Now think of yourself. Yes yourself as I will almost garuntee that you are that person to somone else. I will admit that I used most of the things from above out of my own heart and I know that I can be many of them.

Realize that we are the only ones that believe that what we do is the right thing to do, all the time. Unless we are perfect, somone will have issues with what and how we do things, and some of what we think is right, is wrong. Look at a man who justifies cheating on his wife because of something his wife has done. He thinks his wrong actions are right.

How mant times have you shown anger, resentment, lack of interest whatever you had to towards others because of your inability to deal with them. How many times, really? If you are like me, probably more timmes then you want to admit. Well God doesn't do that! He only looks at us and says I want to have fellowship with you becasue I love you. You are my creation, in my likeness and I want to be close to you.

So in the ultimate act of justice God sent His Son to us not only to first show us how we should be and what we can be, but then to die for us, to pay with His blood for all of the ways that sin shows it self through our pitiful lives. "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us". We can't even be in the same room as the people we don't like let alone die for them. We have trouble loving ourselves unconditionally let alone anyone else unconditionally.

So when we can only smile cordially at somone, or curtly walk by their office in avoidance, God paid the ultimate sacrifice. When we can only demonstrate love by our anger and abusiveness, God paid the ultimate sacrifice for us. When we only think of ourselves first and not those around us, God paid the ultimate sacrifice for us.

When you realize that you are included in the "we were all sinners" you perspective on things begins to change. When you realize that you are included in the "us" in Christ died for us. Then you will see that God does not care who or how you are only that He wants you to accept your redemption through Christ and come fellowship with Him. If you don't think you need Him then you need to look in the mirror. If you don't think He can help you then maybe ask someone who treats you how you sometimes treat others.

There is no hurt in the true message of the Gospel. There is no down side to anyone. God will work all things for the good. It may take you through some very narrow paths and tight gates but in the end you will also fellowship with the Living God and be guided by what truly is right and good.

Lord God, I am not by any means perfect. I fail and fail others, but I continue to accept the gift of salvation that you offer through Jesus Christ. I continue to work out the things that are not good through my santification. I continue to strive for continual fellowship with you. I pray that others who may not yet be poor in spirit, who don't accept your offer of salvation and the brokness that is in their lives, that they may come to that point and call out your name. That they look on the Cross and truly see why Christ died for us.

Evil for Evil

See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.

1 Thessalonians 15

This little calander that Catherine has given is proving to be a tremendous gift. Not only do I find that she has hand written some notes on paticular meaningful and also random days for me, it seems that the verses are appropriate for things that are happening around me. Yesterday was perfectly orchastrated for a discussion that my wife and I had in the morning and then became the basis for the post. Today, again this has happened. If you believe in Gods Soverienty then you see the blessing to a well placed verse, if you don't then chaulk it up to coincidence.

A way long time ago, as it feels in my head because time stands almost still here, I wrote about the bathroom situations at the camp. There is a very real issue with the ways the different cultures utilize the rest rooms. I will tell you that the "American Standard" is not the world standard and the way my parents taught me is not the way other parents taught their children to use the bathroom. What this creates is an evironment where the cultures colide and differences become the focus.

I will elaborate a little more. It is difficult to keep the rest rooms sanitary and clean. We end up with frequent clogs, water and other material on floors, showers and sinks used for cleaning of clothes. All sorts of things that just don't go over well here. Because of that the debate on how to fix the situation has gone from eductating the everyone on the proper use and hygene practices to a them and us situation. I was ok with the eductation idea, but now the them and us thing has not sat well with me.

In this type of environment you must continually bring people the information you need them to have. If there is a standard that is expected for the camp then all people must be given the opportunity to understand that standard. Some people can not be expected to do anything different then what they know unless you show them it. I for instance remember the first time Catherine and I ate Sushi, we literally had to ask the Waitress to show us haw to eat each piece of fish. Which ones to dip and which not to dip. We just didn't know.

Here however is part of the problem, the bigger the Camp the harder it is to have an "All Hands Meeting". We used to be able to get a couple hundred people together at one time, now there are five hundred, so the education and information disemination falls on the Supervisors to the workers. Also, we used to have signs posted in the rest rooms in each language so that we covered the majority of people, now, no signs.

It was even suggested that we manage the differences in cultures. We try to change something that someone has been doing their entire life as normal becasue it is different then you. They make facilities designed for the different ways that people use them, American style or Middle Eastern style. This would give options to everybody and everyone would have a choice of where they could go. nobody would be asked or forced to either facility. This idea was laughed at originally as I was the one who suggested it. Now this is being looked into.

Here is the rub and how this lends itself to the verse at the from 1st Thessalonians, in desperation, the Camp has changed the combination on one set of AB Units so that no Foriegn National can use them. The specific words were used "Expat Only". Followed by the idea that now they would see who was messing them up for sure. Now here is a gut check for you, did those words sting or not? They did me. I could not believe that we had come to that moment where we, Americans, fighting for freedom, would say "Expat Only".

It is rascisim or bigatry or segregation and in that it is evil. It is people at the end of their rope and with a difficult situation on their hands giving into a rudimentry human instinct of pride. It is not good an in my mind a step backwards for us here. We have these men risk their lives for our Soldiers but then treat them like garbage because we think we are better than them. We, have sunk back down into a pit of desciding that one human being is not the same as another. In Gods eyes they are, and if it doesn't make you feel awful then you really must check where you are looking at things from.

I am not saying that I like living in unhealthy conditions. I am not saying that there is nothing that can be done, but this is the start of evil from one man onto another. This is one person thinking that they are, there ways, what they do is, better than another. It is why one man inslaves another. It is why one man will take anothers wife or car or money. They have pride driving them and I say again it is evil.

So you know, and maybe feel something for this, I have a man that works for me. He is a retired Captain from the Romanian Army. He is a fine man, works very hard at his job. I have become close to him in the past few weeks in our working relationship and he keeps me in check sometimes with a well placed "you are a Christian", when maybe I am displaying something else. His words to me were, "because I don't have an American Passport I can not use the same toilet as you? I am not good enough?" Now look in this mans face and explain the reason and justify the descision.

So I am in a position, again, to take a stand. Or to affect change. The second part of the verse is this, "but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men." I have begun by not using the bathroom that is now Expat Only as that initself is a terrible wittness to anybody that may see it happening. I would be condoning the action taken and I will not do that. The big thing is what to do next, what action can I take to right this apperent wrong? That was retorhical.

You know when it comes down to it, we all have to make choices of what is right and wrong. If we do it on our own then we are doomed to fail occasionally. If we follow Gods standards then we will fail at it less often. "but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men." So what would you do? What do you you do now with these types of things? Do you let things go because they are not your concern? Do you let someone take advantage, hold down, poke fun at someone else? Do you even allow one person to speak about another in a way that may be hurtful without checking them? I hope not.

Lord, please give me the strength that I may need to follow that of which is good. Give others that strength also as you call us to be Lights in darkness and defend the weak. If any don't or won't defend against this prideful evil then forgive them, forgive me, lead us through this. I ask these things in your name. Amen.

Amos 3:3

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

Amos 3:3

No! In the simplest form two can not walk together except they be agreed. They must determine the common interest or goal. They must have something that brings them first together and then keeps them moving in the same direction. They must have some common understanding or they will move apart either slowly or quickly.

Since I have come to Christ catherine and I have walked together in agreement. That does not mean that every descision is perfect and that we are on the same page but that our purposes are one. We are both focussed on our relationships with God and our walks with Jesus Christ and in that we have a common goal. Each of us trust the work of the Holy Spirit in each lives, as Peter tells us, and with that we walk together. We walk in agreement in this way.

When I cam to Afghanistan Catherine and I were in agreement that we were in Gods will and this is where I would be for the year. We never questioned that it wasn't and that through whatever happened He would bring good from this. that He would bring us to a place He wanted us to be. That He would show us the things that He wanted us to see as He was in control of our walks.

With me here Catherine has had to support the majority of the household duties. I know that her workload is greater than mine, her responsibility for the families well being tremendous. Catherine has maintained the household, the kids, the homework, her own work and support of me and this is something that I do not think I could have done if our roles were reversed. She has seen her this as what God has had her do and thus far she has done it well.

For me, I have had to live seperated from my home and family, all of my friends and those in the Church that I love. I have had to live according to what Jesus has called me to do and have seen more in this time then I ever could have imagined. I have learned the true meaning of the things of our Gospel, discipleship, small group, small community and personal dependance on God and the filling of the Holy Spirit. I see the glory of God and the working in my life, I see my Ministry forming everyday and how this time was a blessing of God.

In our marriage we walk together and in our faith we walk in the same understanding and I am seeing now how God works things out for the good more and more. See, and you can read earlier blogs if you like, I have had to learn to rely soley on God since I have been here for my strength. Every ounce of me, everyday is drawn back home, but everyday I must purpose to remian committed and strong and stay here. I do not relay in my heart on a single man, or woman, to keep me happy or filled as ultimately they will all disapoint me.

So you know, I do not even rely on Catherine for that as she also will disapoint me, as I would her. I don't rely on Frank, or Ethan, David, Gary or Chris as each at some point will do something that is not within my expectations. Only Jesus Christ can provide me what I need to get through each day. Only Jesus Christ can guide me, and heal me, console me. Only Jesus Christ won't fail me.

Small group, Discipleship, Small Community based on the expectation that those with you will give you what you need, solely, is wrong. Small group based on a pure outpouring of the Holy Spirt within you to thiose that are with you is what it should be. Giving every ounce of yourself to others in the Love as the Gospel describes is what we are to do. Expecting only to give and not recieve from others is what we must do, Small group is to build the relationship that is formed individually, it is the watering of the seeds, iron sharpening iron through loving friction. Our filling, our stability and well being can only come from the Lord.

In Gods way, He has worked His plan accordingly and slowly Catherine and I, 7,000 miles apart are finding the same message be taught to us in our lives. For me, it was like opening the door of a blast furnance the first day I arrived in Country. "You must do this with only me" for Catherine the process has been slower. Her path to this same common understand has taken her through many places, many peeks and valleys, easy trails and difficult dark forests. She has realized that those that should be there, are not. That those that were expected to lend support did not. Those that are to be the examples will fail also. That the trueset of forms, the most consistant in their walk, the only example is Jesus Christ.

So now Catherine and I walk together. We are agreed that neither of us can fullfill everything for each other in the same way that Jesus Christ can. We know that those around us, our Christian Brothers and Sisters, are as fallen as we are and therfore can not be the source of anything more than fellowship and watering of the seeds we sow with the Lord. That we must only expect from others that they hopefully continually point us to Christ as anything more than that can't be. God has brought Catherine and I to the same point of conntentment, only in Him, in the way in which He wanted.

For us we have walked seperate paths but in the same direction. We have started at the same point and now come back together in the same Common knowledge. The Lord again has used this journey to bring us deeper relationship with Him. As we both continue to seek Him we will continue to walk together.

Lord Jesus, be our One and Only, our All in All. You are truly the only one who can give us the things we need. You are the only one that will not disappoint us. You are the only one that will fill us when we are empty. Let us rely only on that.

This Is Your Day!

John 3:16 holds alot of meaning for Christians. It is probably the most widely used and known verse. You see it all over at sporting events and just about anywhere there is the possibility of the lost seeing it. I will rewrite it here for those that do not know it.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life". John 3:16

For me this verse has some additional relevance in my walk. March 16th is the day that I was baptized by water in front of my Church. The day that I publically proffessed Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. On that day I also placed on my wrist a braclet given to me by the wife of the man who helped lead me to Christ which simple has 3:16 on it. That braclet has not left my wrist since and is a personal reminder to me of the power of Jesus Christ in my life.

I was saved after a very slow spiral of sin took over my life. I was saved after years of alcohol caught up to me and I crashed in mid December, the weekend of my wifes birthday. I was saved on February 4th, after recognizing, reading Pslam 18, that God delighted in me even though I had had all of the horrible things in my life. That through Jesus Christ alone and faith in Him I would be saved. From that moment on I have walked in full light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and everyday pushed to live as Christ wants me to live.

March 16th, 3:16, therofore is my truth. In so many ways, it represents my conversion and walk, the Truth which I live for. In my mind this is the verse as I read it;

"For God so loved Michael, that he gave his only Son, so that Michael who believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

God so loved me. He loved me so much that Jesus Christ came and died on the cross for my sins, The verbal abuse of my family, the pornography, the drinking and anger, the swearing and luedness and hatred of others. Christ lives now with me as an example for me to follow, everyday. I walk with Him in His resurrection, as my baptism represented to the world. he lives and now so do I.

So today, as I tore off the Tuesday the 18th Bible verse from the desk calendar that Cathrine sent me it reveal a note. "This is your day"! and the verse John 3:16. How special of a gift that my wife has given me. She has also reminded me of what my walk ghas been and what God has done for me. A walk that has brought me here and that will bring me wherever He wants me to be.

Thank you my love for your rememebrance of the meaning for me of this verse. Thank you my love for your obediance to God and your participation in this journey we are now on. Thank you for giving this day a different meaning by your note.

Lord Jesus, may all who seek you find you. May they know the sacrifice that you made for each one of them by your attoning death on the Cross. May they accept and live fully with you by their side. May they also have everlasting life through faith in you. Amen.

Eating with a Sinner.

All the people saw this and began to mutter "He has gone to be the guest of a 'sinner.' "
Luke 19:7

How many times have we muttered this ourselves, "he has gone to be the guest of a sinner." How many times have we looked at the actions of another person and made a judgement based on our own feelings, our own perspectives. Why is that person doing this or why is that person hanging out with him? Or did you see that new family in the church? I wonder why they are here. It is one of the things that we don't want to admitt to happening but we all no that it does.

Here, in this camp people make judgements all the time about others. I wish I could tell you how many times I have heard the expression "those people" refering of course to anybody not the same as the person speaking. We all have our own standards and those are the standards that we look at others through. It is one of the things that we are supposed to get past as Christians, and only focus on the person at hand.

In the verse jesus has gone to the house of Zacchaeus, a little Tax Collector who so desperatly wanted to see the Lord that he climbed a tree as he was walking by. So you know just like now people don't like to pay their taxes. Back then however Tax collectors were notorious for tacking a little extra for themselves and for being a little to close to thye Romans for which they paid taxes. So for our sake now, place any walk of life in the spot of tax collector that you may think that fits so the story becomes relevant to you.

So now that we have all placed, even for just a brief thought the person that we would not want to be with in the story I will move on. By the way, if you did think of someone then this message may be more relevant then you think! So Jesus sees this short Tax Collector who so wants to see Him up in the tree and calls out His name, Zacchaeus, and tells him to get out of the tree and take him to his house for a meal.

This is when the crowd mutters, "oh" did you see that? They are seeing only the person who they dispise, the Tax collector. Place the person you thought of before here. They are not seeing what Jesus sees. A man seeking to see, and know Him, as Lord and Savior. Obviously the man was excited as he climbed the tree to get a look. Jesus knew him by name so in my mind maybe the man in his heart had been trying to do the right thing and been seeking His Savior for a while now. What ever the case, the crowd saw the sinner, the man they didn't like only.

I had mentioned before about the use of the term "them and they" here at the Camp. It has never been uttetred by the Foriegn Nationals it is always an Expat or someone of dramitically different economic status then the others. WHat they miss is the human being that is standing before them. The person of a different culture who just hasn't been brought up in the same way. They miss that there may be somone with reall need standing in front of them and only see "them".

Jesus saw the opportunity and the faith. He sees that this man regardless of what he is doing in his life or what he may only know to do, is seeking to know the Lord. Jesus wants to fellowship with Him and be in contact where He can most appropriately connect with Him. He will sit and enjoy a meal and allow Him the opportunity to know Him. He doesn't need to be in a tree, they will sit together.

So as they eat, as they sit in fellowship, two men, without regard to the "sin". Jesus said to him, "Today salvations has come to this house, becasue this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." Luke 19:9-10 The Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost. Seek what is lost. The same is true for us.

We are to Follow Him, and therefore we also are to seek waht is lost. We are to see the things that have fallen and moved away from the Lord, moved away from fellowship with God and find the opportunities to bring them the Savior. It is easy to be the one in the crowd only seeing the sin and the differences, but stepping past that you must step in faith.

Move past any steriotypes you may have. Move past any misconceptions of who you can be with and who you can't. Just follow Christ and move to the need. Find the ones that are looking over the crowd in eager anticipation and fellowship with them. Find the ones that may only feel the eyes on them and not the love they should feel from us. Be as Christ is and step towards all who seek Him and bring bring salvation to the lost.

Lord God, if you saw us the way we see others, none of us would be acceptable. Thankfully, you accepted me in my sin and gave me your Grace freely when I asked for it. May we all know this same Grace. May we all accept any who seek you freely and lead them to that same grace.

Who's Responsible?

Trusting God. How much do you trust God in your life? Do you believe Him to be soverign or just there watching? Does He either allow or cause everything to happen or does he leave it in your hands to decided, has he given you the ultimate in free will? The question is important to ask and more and more I evaluate my walk based on this question.

This was stirred again in my mind last night through some texting with my father. He always asks me to be safe here. He hates the idea of me going outside the wire especially on a regular basis as it may create a noticable pattern. He is my dad and I expect that from him, but this goes a little deeper. You see, he helped me to get connected a friend of his, who passed my resume to the appropriate people here at this Company.

Last night my father said that he felt responsible for me being here. Now he didn't say all these words but that if anything were to happen to me he would feel that it was his fault. What a tremendous burdon he must have. I fully understand this position as a father, the safety of your children, especially considering the idea in his mind that he help get me here.

My reaction to him wa sthat if he truly felt that he would be responsible for my death, if that were to occur, then I would come home right now. I could not in good conscience allow that to rest on his shoulders for the rest of his life if that would occur. He did not want me to do that as I believe he understands my view point on me being here. Today I guess I write this blog to maybe help my father to further undertsand my view.

I fully believe that I am here through the will of God. That through my obediance and faith He has worked his soverienty through my father, me and all the other circumstances of how this happened. This is my faith and it is my truth. I fully believe that all of the things that I am doing, the things that I am learning, and the way God continues to reveal himself in all of the Blessings was meant to be.

Now understand, God would have worked with me even if I didn't end up here, becasue as we are obediant to Him then we remain in His will always. So if I had chose not to come and my circumstances would have changed so would the blessings. But as I am here, here I will be used by God. Remember, He doesn't care if I turn left or right only that I walk for Him.

With that, I have been eternally changed here. My life and perspective have now been altered. The lens that I use to see things is colored shades of brown as this place has made me different then I would have been at home. I am no longer only seeing things from the box of Delmar New York. Through the window of my haouse out into my nice nieghborhood. Looking at all my friends whom look just like me.

I have learned to only rely on my relationship with God and walk with Jesus Christ as there ais nothing else as consistant for me then that. I no longer hold an expectation of my wife and family for anything past what any other person can give as inevitably they will fail me. I must wake every morning and set my focus on Him who will provide for me, that is how I take each day.

I have also learned that there is more to my faith then feeling good, about having a perfect life. that is not promised and is not what I now expect of God for my obediance. I don't ask God for anything for myself anymore because I have learned that it is not about me it is for Him I serve. I have learned that the ache in my stomach means satan is on the prowel and I must go out and hunt him down.

Through all this his blesings have come. Sometimes as little as the smile on the boys face as he recieves a gift of a coat and others in the fact that I am no longer bound as heavily by the circumstance in my life to the way I percieve my relationship with God. If I had been anywhere else right now I would not be here.

So back to the point at hand. My response to my fathers statement that is always at the end of our conversations, "be safe", is always the same, "as safe as I can be" for that is the best that I can do. For regardless if my father was part of the circumstance or not, I am here, and God will determine when I am not. My part is to be obediant but not stupid. To listen and trust, and not walk blindly and blame. My father, as an unbeliever may not understand this, but that is the truth. God will determine the outcome.

Lord Jesus, I ask to be used by you in all things. That my hands be your hands and my words be your words and that through me you are glorified. Give peace to those who require it and I pray that one day they may also rest in your truths. Amen.

Water Anyone?

"He answered, 'Then I beg you, Father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment"

Luke 16:27-28

The background to this verse is this, I will take some literary license.

There was a man who was wealthy, as a matter of fact he felt he was above other people. He dressed like a King in the best clothes and was quite showy if you you will. He wanted people to know he was rich. He lived the good life, spending money on good food, and the best he could get, luxury was the name of the game for him. Man of the world for all intense and purpose. Driven to success a son born in a family with the same values.

There was anoher guy who had very little, almost nothing. This guy was hungry, sick and in need so he went to hang out at the friont gate of the rich guy. Obviously the one man had so much and could afford to give even the littlest of something, he would have some pity on him. So he waited for the rich man but when he appeared he just walked past him and into his big beutiful well morgaged home. In his dispare the poor man sat on the street corner wondering what was going on, what would he do now. So weak from hunger and a life of poverty, he could not even keep the dogs from coming over and licking the wounds that he had.

In the middle of the night a comotion outside woke the rich man. The peace and quite that he enjoyed in his big house had gone and now heard voices outside. Some bright lights, but he couldn't tell where they had come from. Not seeing anything from the distance of his window, he went back to bed. In the morning on his way out to the spa he realized that the poor man had died, laying there with the dogs still licking his sores. The noise the man had heard were the angels taking the poor man to the right side of Abraham. You see he had lived a life devoted to good works and obediance to God. He was a righteous man and recieved the rewards of heaven.

As time moved on the rich man, who had always enjoyed the finer things of life, died while swimming in the local bath house. He left all of his wealth, the fine house and the horses to his family. His clothes were even brought home and hung back in his closet. Everything he had worked for his entire life remained for his family now to enjoy. But he was taken to a miserable place, a place of torment. A place that he was not expecting and certainly didn't want to be.

See the rich man was now in Hell. He had forsaken all that God had provided him as the work of his own hands. He had lived in opulance and ignored those around him, people like the begger and others. More importantly he refused the word of God, what God had commanded him to do. He certainly missed the part about pity and compassion, about how to love thy neighbor.

So the rich man is now burning up with guilt and hopelessness. He is so bad off that he is looking for a cool drink and somewhere to sit down. He is not used to the hard work and toil that he is under now that he resides in Hell, let alone the skin peals and sores that now ravage his body. this is nothing like the Life I had before he says over and over again.

Then out of the corner of his eye, he sees across a great divide Abraham standing with the poor man he now knows as Lazarus, that was at his front gate a while back. They are obviously looking across to see the torment of hell and what happens to those that go there. The Rich man asks Abraham, father please have pity on me, send Lazarus over and have him dip his finger in water to quench my thirst.

Now, now in his desperation he needs Lazarus. Not like before when he stepped over him. Now he wants pity and before he could give none. So Abraham, reminds the Rich man of s0omething very important. Do you remember all the good things in your life? Do you remember that at your own hand you believed you were successful? Do you remeber that you had no time for things of real value and you showed no pity on Lazarus who had nothing and came to you? Iam sorry, Abraham said, there is nothing I can do. There is no way now for you to come to us or us to go to you, this chasm between will remain to divide.

Now the Rich man could see what had happened. He knew his goose was cooked and that he had made poor choice in life. He had stored up treasures on earth, lived a opulant life and not shown concern or love to anyone but his possessions. So then he begs, Father, send Lazarus to my fathers house for I have five brothers. Let him warn them so they won't come to this place of torment. Obviously the family is having the same issues as he was having. they probably all ignored God and stored up worldy possesions. Now he wanted to save them.

When the Rich man realized where and why he had gone wrong it was too late. He had spent his life it what seemed to be the correct manner according to the majority of people. He was successful, and had everything, he probably even went to the Synogogue each week just to show his face. But what really mattered was in his heart, he could not show pity when pity was needed. He could not love because he saw things in regards to value and worth to him. He could ignore what didn't make him prosper. Everything looked good on the outside to the worlds standards but on the inside it was not. It was not what God valued.

Abraham tells the Rich man no. They, as you did, have there chance. The prophets told you what was to happen and you didn't believe. Now they don't believe and won't believe even if I send Lazarus. They will need to make their choices in life.

So what will your choice be. How much information do you need? Whos standards will you live by? When will you expect pity? The Lord Jesus Christ was sent for us all so that we may be saved and have the eternal gift of life. If you ignore that now, if you live only for the world today you may be on the wrong side of the chasm for eternity with no hope to cross back over, and no hope then to recieve the grace that God offers you now. Water anyone?

Father, convict the hearts of those that read that may be whitwashed, dressed in purple and fine linen that their worldy possesion will gain them nothing. Allow them to see that the treasures in Heaven are what they should seek. Allow them now to know and follow Jesus Christ as their example here on earth. Amen.

Psalm 33:21

"For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name"

Psalm 33:21

Very simple today. Whenever I trust in the Lord, my heart rejoices in some way. Evry morning I go outside while it is still dark and pray. The prayer is always, Lord help me stay in your will. Allow me to be obediant to you and to glorify your name in all things. I ask that my hands be his hands and my words to be his words. I end by professing Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and rebuke Satan by his blood.

Trust in the Lord. Trust that there is no better place then with Him. Trust that as you walk, as a child of God that you are walking with Him. That He is alive and by your side. Know that His word is truth and there are no options to truth, there is but one. With this truth in my heart I am called to act and walk and be without wondering if I am on the right path, or doing the right thing. I must live knowing that I am in His will becasue I am accepting and obeying His truth.

Trust and rejoice. Trust and rejoice.

Lord Jesus, thank you for your perfect example to those of us in this world, for your children. There is but one truth and therefore you have made it easy for me, for these others if they chose to follow that truth. There is but one path, the narrow one, and on that path I chose to walk and becasue of that I shall rejoice. Praise you God. Amen.

Roll er Over

Today I am getting a late start yet again. It is now 12:10 and I am just sitting daown to write this post.. That is ok in this instance as our MHE Department came to the rescue of the Military this morning.

Yesterday just around 1600, Col. Manning, Capt Johnson and Sgt. Canaday came into the office looking for me. They needed help. The local crane contractor who was setting T -Walls by the Field Hospital had dumped the crane over. Not only did they dump the crane ove they layed it overr thye truck that was carrying the T-Walls.

So there were no issues and to manty people running around Col Manning had sent the contractor and all of their men out of the camp. She did not want any extra people running around getting in the way, especially the guys who had dumped the crane in the first place. Sounded good to me, I just thought of how many other people might want to be around as we drove up to the site.

So last night we all, along with my Crane Operator, went up to look at what had happened. When we arrived sure enogh there was a small twenty five ton crane lieing over the top of the bed of the truck. It had bee working within feet of the Operating Room so the concern was if it would roll back and possible continue to roll into the O.R. We noticed within a few minutes that the Operator had never put the outriggers out on the side that he fell to. He skipped a step and paid for it.

So last night it was determined that as far as it had rolled over and how it was sitting that we would come back in the morning a get it back up for them. That is what we did today. With a large audience and it went smothly.

Now the Commander did show up for a little while. He was all cheerful, maybe because he didn't have to deal with this at his level. When he came up to me he stated that this would be easier to handle with some C4 but it was a little close to the hospital. Urah! So we continued on with our plans of using two Cranes and some of the PLS's to lift and roll the crane back over.

Now we staretd at 0900, really it was 0700, but we told the Military 0900 so they would not show up while we ran the bulldozerr around clearing the area of shrubs and ditches. But like clock work around 0900 all the spectators showed up to see us upright the crane. We even had the helicopter piolets standing on Conex's next store to see what we were doing. Good size crowd of people for a while, but they mostly left as time worn on as we were not going to do this without getting it right.

So after some long thought, and much debate with my crew the plan was established and the eqyuipment set up to roll the crane. By this time most of the Military had left and we were ready to go. Slowly, much to the dismay of Col Manning as I think she was still so angry at the Contractor that she wanted us to just flip it over. But it moved, safely and slowly until it landed back on its feet again.

I will say right now that it went beutifully, as planned and the crane sat down so softly that it did not make a sound. Col Manning was happy and we had done our job. My part of it primarily oversight as I know when to leave things to my men. But it was good, real good.

So anyway, that is why this is late. Cool, regular stuff I guess. Life, my life here in the position that I have. I enjoy these days. It makes you feel good to know that you have accomplished something. Yesterday , for the Lord, today for the US Military.

Lord God, Thank you that today, this lift went safely and there were no further incidents. Thank you for the skills that my men had and their aboility to come together to complete this mission today.

Small Gifts for the Little Ones.

Outside the wire again, but this time for work of the heart. Oh what a feeling to give to these young children that have so little. Coats, hats and gloves sent from my wife specifically for these boys that spend their days with their fathers in the SOK yard outside the gate.

The morning had started a little rough and just hectic and I was feeling a little off as my mind wondered towards my upcoming R&R. I had recieved the box of coats from Catherine that I had asked to be sent after my last trip outside the wire. I had noticed that several of the boys that spend the days outside with there fathers had no coats, or very tattered hand -me - downs. It was on my6 heart to bring them these for a while and once the box showed up I couldn't wait.

I decuided that today would be good as it would boost my Spirits and I prayed that the Lord would lead the morning. I expressed to Abu that when the truck returned that I would need to use it as I wanted to go to the ECP. Knowing my purpose he asked if he could come along and help. As we drove to the gate there were no trucks in the SOK yard so it looked as if we would not have anyone to bring the coats to. We figured however that we would look and see.

We left the coats in the box in the parking area and walked through the ECP and out into the real world. Still makes me feel good just to be out. Anyway, walking past the barriers and into the SOK yard we were met by several older men, one of whom spoke broken English. They were wondering if what we were looking for if we needed them. With them was one of the boys who had been on my heart, so I explained that I was going to bring him a coat. That I had to go back in and get it but it was to replace the older one that he had. He is the tallest one in the picture.

So back to the car we went. Past the Afghan Guards, and the Albanian Guards and the American Guards and back to our car. Picking the biggest coat, hat and gloves that we had we went back through the ECP, grabbing an interpreter on the way. I wanted to be sure that the boy understood why he was recieving the gift from me. When we reached the SOK yard again low and behold our one boy needing a coat had turned into three. Two more boys stood before us along with the other.

It was so heartwarming to see this boy remove his pold coat and place the new one on. Then the gloves and hat. Turning to the other boys now we had the interpreter explain that we had more coats for them if they would wait a few minutes. That I had their sizes and it I could go get them now. So off we went back through the Afghan Guards, back through the Albanian Guards and the American Guards and to the parking area to pick up two more coats. Back we went out as before.

There standing with the three boys, the two that had no coats and two more now without coats. The littlest in the picture. Abu, I knew we should have brought the entire box! We explaining again what we had, and that we had enough for the new boys, but that would be the last of it for now. This time we roused the curiosity of the Commander of the Afghan Guards. He walked over very slowly and stood for a minute looking at what was going on. My thoughts, by the look on his face, was he is not liking this.

Then he spoke and the interpretor answered him. I figured this was my cue to give the man the respect due him and move closer and introduce myself. I asked also if he was ok. The interpreter told me that he had explained what was happening and the Commander had thought it was a good thing, that the families were poor and that the could use these coats. Relief. I explained now to him about how these coats were a gift from my wife and family and that they had sent them from America for these boys. We still had the two new boys to take care of so off we went back through the ECP.

This time on the way back from the car one of the American guards noticed us and asked if we needed escort. No thank you, we are ok. Just going out here for a minute. He asked if I was going far, I said no, not this time but I have thought about it before, was my response. We just kept walking and returned now to the crowd of people. The last two boys recieving their coats and hats.

We spent a lot of time after this taking some picture and talking with all of the guys. The older men began to explain that they had brothers and sisters at home that also need coats. If I would be able to bring some for them. Also had a few requests for shoes for the boys,and looking down I could see why. Sandles and broken and torn shoes on their feet. I let them know that I had no promises that I could but I would try.

As we left we took some of these photos that you see above. We moved up by the Afghan Guards and spoke to them for a while, it is nice having an interpreter along. That is when I formally was introduced to the Commander, Sultan Asar. I was able to speak for a few minutes with him. He expressed to me at that time that he had three granchildren that could also use some coats. two and a half, oneand a half an six months. He asked if maybe I could bring some for them next time. Again I said that maybe in three weeks or so as they would be from the US.

We walked back now as a group and I stayed near the Commander figuring that it was the most respectful place for me. Abu and the Sgt who he knows walked in the front. Moving back past the Afgahan Guards and on to the gate. We stood outside the gate for a few minutes until the Commander walked away. This is when the interpreter asked why I was so nice to these boys and men. Opportunity, opportunity, opportunity!

We are all people, and I have children of my own at home that I thought about. I would not want them to have no coats when it was cold. He asked why I had the beard, which I explained was for fun and so I didn't have to shave. Are you a Muslin sir? No I am a Christian I explained. But we are brothers and we all serve the same God. We are all His creation. With this we moved inside the gate.

As Abu and I walked to the car Abu turned to me and said that was good Sir. It was a good day because of that. Yes, yes it was.

There is just an absolute feeling of freedom outside of this fence. There is peace when I am interacting with the local men. Today there was joy from charity and it was just so pleasing to serve God. Again I wonder what it would be just to walk, in tottal trust to God, down into town and into these peoples lives. One day.

Lord, may you use me, and this simple gift for your glory. May this be a seed in the lives of these men and their families that you may use. May it be watered by me and those that come after me to this land. thank you Lord for the opportunity to serve you.