Perspective.

The ups and downs of this life can be so annoying sometimes! I can only imagine how Adam and Eve felt the first few days of their lives when everything was perfect. Walking around talking, playing, even their work was to be easy for them. Walking with God in the garden, full of His wisdom, they maust have been just in awe of everything. Each sound, each others voice, the smells and colors all set out before them so that it was "good" (that is Gods definition of good). Can you imagine?

Then the big mistake, the apple, the fall. I wonder how bad that moment felt to them? Did it all just crash down or did God spare them the agony of the wieght of the world on their shoulders, and deep depression or did he just allow them to experience everything so that they new what they had lost. We know that they felt their shame and nakedness, oh but what else did they feel?

Unlike us, they knew what God had in store for them, they lived it for a little while. We only know this world in it's broken state, what it has become, so our reality of everything being ok or not ok is based on this perspective. So we live our lives based on that perspective.

The last couple of days, really starting Thanksgiving evening, felt off again. Kinda had the ache back again. Mostly thinking of the Holiday season coming up and having to spend it here. Catherine is feeling it also, we are seperated and it is a little rough. We have always enjoyed this time of year together and as a family. We are getting good though and can both seperate the feelings that we have from any thought that we are not walking with the Lord.

We have these ups and downs. I am sure that all couples that are seprated have similar feelings and issues that Catherine and I have. As a matter of fact everybody that is living is going to have good days and bad. We are victims of Tha Fall remember. How we handle these days is so important. I used to handle a bad day with an extra drink when I got home. Some, maybe a pill. Others just hide themselves from the world in a book or TV show or fall into depression. MAny ways and many reasons.

Catherine and I try repeatedly to lean on each other first. To speak to each other open and honestly about how we are feeling. I know that Catherine, mostly tries to put on a good face to the kids but occasionally will let them know of her struggle. It is good for them to know. I am always putting it out there, it is the way that I work things out. We also strengthen each other with Gods word and encouragement of tyhe Hope in the Lord. I can't tell you how many times Catherine has told me that "He must be trying to teach you something through this just be patient". She is right.

We also lean very heavily on the people around us. I know I probably do more than Catherine as she is a lot more independant than I am. I am continiously writing emails, connecting with people on the phone and writing my Blog. I also look for the opportunities here to engauge in more trusted friends to speak about my feelings and fears. These other people are most necessary.

Ultimately we lean on God, and seek Jesus Christ for our guidance. Catherine and I know that we walk with the same Spirit within us, and that ultimately bonds us together. We walk in that assurance and it comforts us. We each rely on God to guide us and that we are both walking towards Him. We stress that in our conversations with each other. We know that ultimately we will be ok because our perspective is towards Him and that is the right place for it to be.

So back to the ups and downs. Isn't it all perspective. Adam Eve had the stark perspective of knowing the best they could ever hope for and then having the worst. We walk in only knowing the perspective of the feelings we have now compared to the best that we have ever felt. We base everything on this. So my up's and down's are all this, just my feelings on this scale that I have created to judge where I am at. Nothing more than this.

That is why, knowing God and walking with Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to be your guidpost gives us the consistancy. With the Bible we know what God wanted of us. We know what Adam had. This becomes our Hope, His purpose becomes ours purpose. We look for the end Glory and not the immediate things to stisfy us. We continue because we know that He is in control.

An Elder of ours told Catherine once "Sometimes you are just in the desert". That is absolutely the case. I am learning more and more that the ups and downs can't and won't control my life but that they are just a part of my life. I am learning to just ask Him to show me through. I just seek Him and keep the end as the focus of my perspective.

Be well all and keep your perspective right.