Chandel again last night asked about my leaving him when my contract is up. He wanted to know why I had to go and if I could just stay instead. No Chandel I can not stay. I will return to my Church and my home in June. How certain I sound of the outcome of all of this.
It is funny in a sense how I tell my self that but yet I preach Gods will to this man and others often. The Gospel tells us that we accept the control that God already has in everything and trust Him with our lives. Now I sit and ponder my response to Chandel. Do I really know that I will leave? If I do leave how do I know that God will place me back at my home, with my Church? If I truly place myself in His hands then I could end anywhere, even here. Wow, what a thought!
So do I trust Him or not? Am I making my own assumptions about my future or do I have control over where and when I leave and where I go? See I believe that God allows us to decide. We have free will in our lives however we must Glorify Him in all that we do so that we remain in His will. So stay or go as long as I am Glorifing Him Then I will continue to see the blessings He has in store for me.
So with all the questions in my mind I continue to believe that I will return home. My answer to Chandels question was recieved with a simple "why"? Why would I need to return to my home and church. I explained that when I left I left others that were similar to him. Men that I was close to and who I poured into as I was each night with him. I explained that I had left them, and that I had every intention to return to them at the end of the year. Also that this would allow me next year to work on my school and finish a large part of it.
His response was simple and heart felt. "Sir, I love and respect you. When you leave things will be tough for me."
I am so sorry to all of you but something has happened in the publishing of this post! Catherine pointed out that it was incomplete and in looking at it it must not have saved correctly. I guess I will leave it as a cliff hanger for now until tomorrow.
Have a blessed day.
First time in Afghanistan as a civilian contractor under a one year contract. I have been brought here by God and intend to speak the Gospel of Christ however I can.
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