Getting Over The Hump

Listen, as if I were talking right now, I need prayer. Even you who don't believe in God you can pray, don't worry about it, He will understand that you are just trying to help me out. Anyway, I am trying to get over this "hump" here. I am not quite half way through my year and I am back into having the daily ache in my stomach.

December 18th as a matter of fact is the mark. From that point on it is all downhill. I remember this because it is the day after Catherines Birthday. (Really her birthday is the 18th, but for years I have said the 17th). MAybe because my mind is focussed on this date I am seeing that I will still have just as long to be here as I have had completed.

My Brother Tony, was very good the other day with His words of encouragement. He focussed on the work that I have completed thus far and how that is, and is going to be used by God in the future. He very effectively pointed out that I could have never recieved this training for Minisrty if I were home, with my family and friends. It would have been impossible. Gods plan includes what I am going through for a reason. This is great encouragement for me. It gives this all purpose and without purpose in life we are lost.

Catherine, also encourages me, in that she has me always bring these things, these times, back to God, the right place to be. She very simply will ask me to ask God what He wants me to learn, or know, or see through the experience. She reinforces the fact that it is God who is in control and instead of shooting from the hip I must trust and obey. She usually ends with "if it is Gods will He will bring you home." Not what this big baby always wants to hear but it is the Truth.

I did go back to the basics yesterday. I went again over to 1200 prayer at the Chapel on the East Side. There as expected was Richard, of course at the computer. As soon as he saw me he said "what wrong". Probably because of the tears starting in my eyes, but also because it has been a month in a half since I had been there at 1200. We just started talking about this ache and the thoughts that I have been having. He is a good listener and also very wise for his age. I would recommend that anyone who can should find a soldier to have to lean on, they are fine men. At the end we prayed and I felt better, not perfect but better.

Through all of this, I do realize that no matter what I feel God is there for me. That is His promise. Some may not understand but even in my suffering I have Hope and that Hope never fails. I may feel the burdons of this world as God wants us to fully experience this Life as Jesus did so that we can also experience His glory in our lives. Don't mistake this ache for lack of Faith, just see it as one of my trials that will strengthen me.

The Chaplin last night said something that really stood out to me. It is reinforced often by the Apostle Paul, that I can't dismiss my suffering and how it relates to the suffering to Christ on the Cross. In no way is it close, but as Christians it is important to draw this relationship in our lives. To suffer because Jesus suffered and in this suffereing we build persevereance, and charcter and hope. It is counter intuitive to the non Christain but to me it makes perfect sense.

So as I began I need prayer, your prayer, in this battle that continues. Some days softly and some days as loud as if someone was yelling in my ear. Pray for Gods will in my life, that is always best. Pray also for my strength that I will persevere to the end and in that end truly be able to Glorify Him from this.

Be well.