A Whole Lot of Nothing to Write

I don't know why but I am truly struggling with writing now that I am home. Maybe this is the "writers block" that happens occasionally. Maybe I am "not in the Spirit" or He's not in me! maybe I just am comfortable being home and my heart is not in that continual fellowship with the Lord as it is when I am back in Afghanistan. What ever the reason I am laboring to write even the briefest of words.

I find when this happens it is best just for me to write. Even to write about not being able to write. to jsut allow myself to flush my thoughts out about the nothingness of my thoughts and thus fullfilling my need to write everyday. Yes I need to write everyday, it has become part of my routine and i feel now obligated to do so.

Maybe that I am home now I feel as if there is no one to write to. You all are here and I am with you so what would be the point of writing anything. Wrong thought. The point of writing is that I feel the need to relate my experiences into the Christian Life. To give insight that no other would have unless I wrote it as I am the only one who experiences my point of view the way that I do. Therefore my circumstance, being in Afghanistan, and my walk with the Lord are unique and therefore offer something to you the reader that you can get nowhere else.

So Why do I struggle? I think it is because comfort sinks back in quickly. This scares me, yes, scares me. I don't want to lose my relationship with the Lord so easily. I don't want to have comforts that will draw me away from Him so quickly. I almost think it is a litmus test of the depth of my faith. How shallow am I that a few comforts would change my soul so readily. Does this happen to anyone else? Do we quickly trade in our dependance on Jesus for a the comforts of home.

Of course we do, of course I do. I am as failed as any other person. I readily trade in the best thing that I could have, Jesus, for temporary comforts now. Isn't this the heart of our disobediance to Him, the heart of our sin? Not that I am sinning, well not a big sin, but I certainly am placing things before Him. I am making small idols that I will worship before I worship Him. I am sinning in this the same as if I murdered someone.

The Christian walk is difficult. Boy it sure is more difficult staying on the narrow path at home then in Afghanistan. It is probably even why the American Church is dying in a sense, because we just have so much in our way. We just have too many things to look at besides Jesus Christ as our example. I read Luke 4 today and here we see the Temptation of Jesus by Satan. At the base case Satan attempts to give Him things other than the things of God. Satan offers attractive alternatives to what is really important in Christ's life. The American Dream is the same offer to us.

If I am going to be successful in this life I must not search for the American Dream. I must not get caught up in this trap that Satan has laid out for me and you, to be comfortable and have all that we need. We must remain only focussed on the ultimate comfort that God offers us through faith in Jesus Christ. We must think of the final outcome over the temporary solution.

I had a whole lot of nothing to write today when I started this. I wrote alot. I pray that my life does not become empty with all the material things that can take up the space that only Christ should occupy.