Home Is Where the Heart Is

I think I have written something like this before but right now I am just not going to go back and look. Writers proagotive, we can say today, to write as He is being lead. Hopw nobody minds!

I am just over three months down with my time here. anybody that is friends with Catherine on Facebook knows that she keeps a weekly ticker going of my time. It is nice even for me to see once a week the progress that I am making. It is also hard sometimes as I feel like I have come so far and yet it has only been a brief time here. The phinominum (spelling) of slowness of time I guess. Leatherneck feels so long ago yet it was only the in july that I was there.

Now in Shindand as I enjoy the work and the people more it also feels like I have been there for such a long time. That I am an "Old Pro" at what I am doing. As new people come in I am one of those that has been there a while, "hey what is it like here?" I am asked. In reality it has only been the better part of two months, not long when you truly think about it.

I speak often to Catherine and the kids, usually twice a day on most days. thank you modern technology. This keeps us close, in a sense, as a family. We are fortunate that we can do this. In the Gulf War, as my Brother Ethan points out, they did not have the access to the technology that we have today. Letters were the primary source of communication and at best it took a month for them to get home. So I am fortunate to have the ability to still be with my family each day.

Home is wher ethe heart is! My heart is becoming split I think. Yes, as I examine myself I can feel that I now have two homes, Shindand and New York. Whne I am away from both I think about them and wonder what is happening there. I think about those that are close to me, my family and my firends in Shindand. I worry about my children and what they may be doing are they safe and I worry about my workers in the same regard. I also worry for Chandel and Nevin that they are beinmg fed Gods Word so they remain strong as new Christians as I also think about my children and their walk. I have dual residency in my mind and heart, something I did not think would ever happen to me.

I guess as I look back it started when I burned my ships as Frank likes to say, in Kandahar back in August. I made a conscience descision that I must move forward in what I was doing in Afghanistan. That until I was truly committed I would stay anchored to home and continue to be in a place that was holding me back from both God and my work. I now see the effects, positive I may add, of that descision.

I wish I could reverse the order, be in New York and be able to stay in touch with Shindand twice a day but I can't. This is the way that God has He will be faithful to His Word and take care of the things around me, take care of my family and take care of the men in Shindand under my stewardship.

So my heart is in two places each day, so therefore my home is in two places. I can only be here or there physically but mentally I can be both at once, and pour as much into all as I can each day. Each place deserves my attention and care, each deserves me as much as I can give them. I can do this if ultimately, again, I trust that God wants me in these places in this way, in His service and in His control.