Go To Your Brother

Something has been a little off between Chandel and I the last few evenings. We haven't sat together or prayed together like we have and or conversation has been at a minimum. He is a quiet guy anyway, for the most part, so you can imagine when there seems too be something wrong.

This was hard for me to acknowledge first as I have grown close to him and I have had such a wonderful time discipling with him. I took me until last night even to mention it to Catherine, that he and I had not studied for several days. I am sure everyone can relate to the feeling, the one you get when you know a friend has been distant. When you think that something has come between you but you are not quite sure what it is. That is the feeling I had.

If I had to guess, and that is what it is right now, I think he was upset with me because of a few issues regarding his job. The other day I had wrote that I was having troubles with work. Some of them are just an overall frustration with having to go over and over the same ground with the crews everyday. There is such a cultural difference and a difference of attitudes that it can be a big road block sometimes.

See, first the workers have a tremendous respect for anyone in authority. They will not question authority unless specifically asked a question. They, many times will do things contrary to what their superior has instructed because someone else has instructed them differently. The immediate threat always seem to win out. Authority is authority. Secondly, it is hard to get the employees to problem solve. Things seem to be always black and white, this or that. If something is different or changes then there becomes a stand still of sorts. Lets make tea and wait for someone to tell us what to do.

The other day the Crane crew just waited through a mission time that they new about. They made no attempt to call their Supervisor or me when the Escort vehicle didn't show up. Instead they made tea. With this I was upset with them for not doing the basics, the things that we have instructed them over and over again to do. With that, they were mad at me for making the descsion that they would escort the Crane themselves for that Mission and therefore had to walk to the Job site about a half mile away.

This created quiet a stir among them and later that evening Chandel wanted me to move him off the crane back to buses. This after asking us to keep him on the crane a month ago. The problem being that we have already moved two men to the buses besides him and now I have no slot for him. He thought that I could just do it anyway and I could not explain to him that I just couldn't show that kind of favoritism. He had made a descision and he had to remain where he was until I had opportunity to move him.

Anyway, after this all occurred Chandel and I seemed to seperate a bit. Now I can tell you that fifty percent of this is in my heart also. Lots of things worked against me in this and I believe that I contributed to the problem. I had just come back from R&R and my mind was messed up anyway. Leaving family over and over again just isn't healthy. I also get really bothered by the fact that occasionally some of my friends ask me, and expect me, to do things that would be contrary to my resposibility to the company. Lastly think that I have high expectations for what this Discipleship of Chandel means. I think that it is my responsibility and I need to make sure taht it continues daily. These, three things all are lead me to create a gap between Chandel that was equal to the one I felt from him, thus doubly far.

So here we have several issues that have contributed to the fact that we, Chandel and I, have created some distance. We have allowed other issues, each our own (and I speculate of his mind you) to come between us. Simply, life has gotten in the way.

Now all this has sirred me a bit in my soul. What was my motivations? Why was I doing this and reacting the way that I was? What was my issues and why was I staying away from him? Not a big issue but just running through my mind. This, this morning, colminated in my prayer time a petition to the Lord. I wanted to examine my heart and asked for assisstance. The answer came as I prayed.

I walked over and sat with Cahndel. I said hello and sat before him. I then let him know that I wanted to continue to meet with him and study the Bible with him. That I wanted to be able to pray with him and share with him. That I felt that he was my brother and that if he wished to continue as we were before that I would really like it. He just said "Yes Sir" and then I asked if we could pray.

I did not go into a big explination. I did not try to investigate his heart or his point of view. I just went to him and expressed my desire to fellowship with him. I listened to the Spirit in my heart that told me that it was up to the Spirit to guide each of us. That I only needed to be avalable and the Lord would take care of the rest.

I was being selfish in a way and letting daily things get in the way of eternal things. I was the problem because I was not trusting the Lord. I was causing the gap because I did not go to my brother, regardless of where he was at, and make it right on my part. Before we can stand before the altar we must make things right with our brother. The burdon was not on Chandel to come to me, it was for me to go to him. It was not for me to correct him but for me to correct myself. I must be right before the Lord. I must cast my burdons. I must not be prideful or unjust. It is I and my heart that matters most when there is something between me and someone else.

How many times have we seen these types of things the other way. That if there are problems, percieved or not, between you and a friend that we will wait for them to come to us. Why? Is it really our concern? Should we not just humbly return and forgive them. They are in fact as broken as you are. They are probably thinking the same thoughts regarding the situation as you do. They may even ache the same way. But nothing will change if neither does anything.

I urge you not to wait for the other person to act. Don't assume the feelings and thoughts of another. Go before them only representing yourself and do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. Give them the forgivness that God has given you.