The Final Few Days

Well this morning it kinda hit me, in a few days I will be heading back to Afghanistan. All of a sudden I feel as if I don't have enough time to get everything in that needs to get in. I know that it will be ok, and that I will do as much as I can do but still the feeling that something is missed.

It is a strange feeling. In the back of my mind the sense that this may be the last time. The last time to wake the kids or to walk the dog, to lay next to my wife. The thought of the "lasts" is not a good feeling especially when there is nothing you can do about it. Don't get me wrong, it is not overwhelming or depressing, just present in my mind.

From this I think of things that need to be said. Discussions that I should have with my children and wife. Things about life and expextations and hopes that I have in my heart that I just need a little more time to talk about. Most of us don't think about a possible conclusion to our lives, so we always think we have time.

That said, I think also of the the journey ahead for me. I am revitalized in the mission that the Lord has placed me in. Being at Tom Littles Memorial yesterday has set in my heart that all of us, including me has the opportunity to impact the world one little peace at a time. Tom lived life to the fullest. One quote that stood out was that you could see Tom's vision in what he did. He allowed his actions to speak for him. How powerful is that? any of us can stand and speak about what should be done, but when we do what should be done, than we lead, then we are true to our word.

So I think about returning to Afghanistan and pouring more of myself into my work and the work of God. Into bettering the lives of those soldiers and the workers that are in my care. The opportunities to allow my actions to speak are tremendous and I can now look forward to it more so then before. I think about pouring myself into Chandel and the others like him who now know Jesus Christ in a way that will equip them to be missionaries when they return to their homes.

I think about my future as I feel the rest of my time will be easier now. I think about where I will be when this ends. I wonder if my plans will be the same as the Lords plans for me, are we on the same chapter in the book of my life. Time will tell on that one.

This week will be emotional. it will be difficult, more difficult towards the end. I will rely on what little strength I have and more so on the strength that I get from Him who loves me and who will see me through this. Pray for me to keep my chin up.

In reflection think about the first thing I talked about, the possibility of the finality of your life. It will happen at some point so don't think that this is morbid. What will it be all about? What will it have been all about? What are the things that you would like to have said and done differently? What moments would uyou liked to have had? Maybe there is still a few days to do these things, go and see.