Let there be Joy in the suffering.

Oh no, I am feeling some of the ache in my stomach again. It shouldn't be here as I left this in Kandahar, I was stepping forward with Him and leaving that connection to home at the foot of the Cross. Why then is it here? Why am I thinking of things?

I can only figure that I am leaking faster than I am being filled. I am spending my hours at night with Chandel as he thirsts for the Word of God. I am with brothers at prayer twice a week where either Robert or I lead the group. I am going to Noon Prayer without the presence of Chaplin Johnson as he is on R&R and some days I spend speaking with Richard the Chaplins Assistant. My filling has become the few brief minutes I can read my devotional, Wednesday Bible study and Sunday Worship.

The harder part of it now can be the constant battle of being a light in this dark world. I spend my time in an office of people who are completely hypocritical, sexes, racists and just fully engauged in things in this world. I listen to coments about my Faith often, swearing that is more than I have ever dealt with before, hypocracy, and blatent disregard for others continually. The only solice I have is with those that are seen by these other as lower than themselves, the Foriegn Nationals. Don't get me wrong, there are good people here, but there are also very bad people here.

It is funny that when I ask to be the hands and body of Christ, to be used by Him, to be a light how fast I wear out. I am just not practiced enough to withstand the constant draw. My body is not prepared enough for the battle that is at hand.

I know this is why I am at this spot. I know that I have been attached because of the blessings that He is pouring out around me to His Kingdom. I know that this is to make me stronger so He can use me more. I know, and I am, giving this to Him but it does not mean that the feeling inside goes away.I must walk through this with my head held high, knowing that it will only benefit Him each day that I overcome my feelings and rely on Him. It will only allow me to be stronger during the next period of trial so that I may Glorify Him.

I am tired and I need your prayers. I am tired but only because I am exhausting myself for Him so in your prayers let there be joy that His Kingdom is benefitting. Let there be joy that I can be here to be used by Him in such a loving way. Let there be Joy in my suffering.

The Results of Sin

This may be short but it will make will make the point. The man that I wrote about in "Sins Trap" a few weeks ago is now filing for divorce from his wife. This morning he spoke with his Attorney to begin the process. He for all intense and purpose is not at all upset by this. He just stated that he is sick of his wife and that he will just marry one of the Phillippino woman from the website he has been looking at. He accentuated that he has already ramped up his search.

If you did not recall the first part of the story you can find it about seventeen days ago. This man started viewing a website of Phillipppino woman looking for marriage. These woman will chat with and call men that have signed up with the web site. He has requested photos from them in provocative clothing. He has slowly gone from looking at them to calling them on the phone and speaking with them at length.

You see this man has not got God in His life, no thoughts of what Jesus has taught us all. He has no moral guidpost and whatever feels right and good at the time for him is ok. He does not need to look inward as nothing causes him to do so, he only looks to the external and the things that others do or don't do that make him happy. Some people are good natured but that is only half the battle. We must be good to Gods standards of goodness, not our own. This man thinks he is good! Is he?

If he is good, to his own standards then why does everything that he is doing seems so bad to us that read this now? Would we do the same, would any good person do the same as he? Sure, we see it all the time, "he was such a good neighbor, never a problem", but then something trageic and out of place to his "goodness" happens.

The point here is that this started off in his mind as just a simple look. No big deal to him. He had no thought of trying to honor or respect his wife. He had no hope in what he had so he just sat and looked for something else to satisfy his desires. He has no will to do anything to save his marriage so he engauged in destructive behavior that drew him away from what was good. This is how sin works. All sin. Slowly and mithadodicaly it will draw you away from what is good.

The neighbor that was "a good man" beating his wife. The family that looks so happy on the outside suffering from coldness and lack of interest and divorcing. We all sin and fall short but the difference is how we react to it, what we do with our sin. Do we internalize it and justify its presence or do we feel the ache of the Spirit letting us know to give it to God?

Pastor Johnson said it quiet well. Sin will is man settling for less than the things of God. God is ultimately what will satisfy us, but Satan sells us lies and we fall short of this Glory. This man has fallen way short and then continued to pursue the sin. It has now played it self out into justification for the breakup of his marriage and a highlighting of all that is wrong with no hope for what was right. Who has one because of this? What did his "goodness" end up doing?

Flee from sin. This man did not do this and we see now the results of the sin. HE accepted his sin and let it consume him. He allowed the toke on the pleasure pipe turn into an addiction that told him that the woman on the computer were better than his wife because they didn't cause him to have to work at it. They didn't require caring and compassion from him. They were easy fullfillment when the relationship with his wife was difficult. I am not saying that this could have been stopped or that he would have never sinned in the first place but I assure you that if he had Jesus Christ in his heart, truly in his heart they may have had a chance.

It is sad and we should pray for him and the others who get wrapped up like this.

My walk today.

Today I am just drawing a blank in my thoughts. Sometimes this occurs and I am able to go for my walk, read my devotional and by the time I come back to the office I have a good idea of the path the Spirit is taking me on. Today that is not the case. My walk was full of many distractions and my mind was held in the things of this world at every turn.

As I left breakfast I headed down to the flight line to drop off several new training Licenses for the men down there. They had recieved training back in June and never were given the licenses that accompany the training. As I went over the wall, a Dash 8-100, the same plane that flew me here was coming in for a landing. It made me think for a moment of Chandel as he rode in on that plane with me. As I watched it land I headed to the PAX Terminal to leave the Licenses for the Supervisor to distribute. A few brief words with the Air Force Sgt. who works days and off I went.

On the way out of the airfield, I walked up to the gate and asked the ANA Soldier if I could get out. I didn't know that he was kidding at first but he didn't open the gate. He just spoke and looked at me funny. I tried to be pleasent and ask how he was doing and he just kinda looked at me and my badge. Finally he smiled, said goodmorning and opened the gate. I was headed into the common area of the base where the ANA mostly live and work. As I walked I watched a Platoon of them marching in formation.

I thought for a few minutes of the relationship here between the US and the Afghan National Army. It is a balance from what I understand as we are here as their guests. The US Army can not set up permenant structures or anything on concrete. As we build the East side facility the Army will move over there and the ANA will come into the area we are in now. Eventually the Afghan Air Force will move in and operate out of this base. Tensions can be up a little from time to time with incidents but as I figure just be nice to them and I will be ok.

I had to go over to the materials yard to look at some signs that were knocked down yesterday by our crane during a lift. I was told that it happend during the moving of the crane but came to find out it was duing the lift. No serious damage as the signs here can not be driven into the ground very far, but they were knocked over. Any damage caused by the crane has to be investigated as it is a critical machine and very dangerous by nature.

On the way out, now this is a secret, I stopped and saw the mommy cat and the little kittens she just had. Her name is Sweety, and she is fed by some of the workers. Sweety is just a little thing and she had five kittens the other day. Thank goodness as she looked like a balloon. She is kept a seceret as the Military frowns opon, heavily, animals kept on the base. So a few minutes watching her chew on some steak and off I went back to the base.

This was the time that I read Utmost For His Highest, my daily devotional. I will recommed it for anybody that wants to chew on some spiritual steak every morning. It is always good and I find myself pondering each line as I walk. It struck me today as I looked back towards the gate into the American compound that I was reading the Word of God, in a sense, in the middle of Afghanistan. I also thought as I walked past the ANA Soldiers, should I put this away as it looks like a Bible. I just walked and showed my badge and continued reading as I went past the back side of the DFAC. I have made a complete circle now from where I started.

As I walked up past the Refer Units, these are refrigerated container, I began to see my old tent mates. I could see Gopaul in the distance with BK and the others. This is there area, the DFAC warehouse. Even though it is outside it is still called a warehouse. I saw Abar who was the Nepali who is a Christen and can not speak English very well. He came up and and very soft said "I Church today" and smiled. I asked if he was coming today? and he shook his head yes. This will be his first time, as he was afraid because of the language gap. This warmed me up and is a blessing to me.

As I continued on I stopped to see Gopaul and the guys. Gopaul was wearing a new pair of boots and he was very happy for them. We spoke of their new tents and that they were all split up. They indicated that they missed the old tent and all of us being together. I reinforced to them that they could have the same thing where they were now if they just tried. That it was not beyond them to make new friends. I said goodbye, and just as I did I heard a familiar "Hello Sir". Without turning and looking I said "Hello Maan". Maan was one of the closer roomates from the tent. I turned and there he was with his yellow dress shows and uniform. I waved. Maan, said good night to me every night just after the light went out in the same way. "Good Night Sir", reminiscent of the Waltons TV Show. I miss that.

As I walked now toward the forklift are I could see Robert and the other Crane guys including Chandel down by the Crane parking area. I figured now would be a great time to see them and discuss some team work issues and the incident with the crane. Chandel walked over Bible in hand and said that today was for Church. Yes, at 11:00, will you come? "If I can sir. Sir, you will teach me one hour a day, I think that would be best. " Yes Chandel, as much as I can. I then spoke with each man individually about my expectatations. I also spoke of their need for Team work. Robert was speaking with the Safety woman about the incident and I went to listen.

There is a big difference in the Safety philosophy I brought from Hess and this one so I am always amazed at what is said. Anyway I have learned to wait until the end and rearrange the expectations and the safety aspects to more align with what I believe should be the case. So you know, I believe that I am as much apart of my mens safety as they are. I am ultimately responsible for each of them and as they work they are responsible for themselves and for meeting my expectations. I offer all of the assiatance I can at any time needed. In review of incidents I look at the facts as they are the only thing that matters and I do not set blame without looking at the facts. As you can tell this is contrary to the common way here.

As the Safety woman drove away I spoke with the men collective about Team work and responsibilities as memebrs of that team. We will see if they can overcome their differences and maintain their safety.

Then I returned to the office and began to write. So here I sit with nothing to say, nothing Spiritualy challenging or deep. Just writing of my walk, writing of the ups and downs and the thoughts and conversation. Contemplating God briefly and war briefly, dealing with my friends and also with my subordinates all along this small journey. I even got to see new life of the small kittens and compassion of man in a place that shows little compassion for anything. I was able to be thankful at times to Him and at other times hearing of others thankfullness for friendship. My mind traveled further that my walk did, but thats ok, it was good.

New Friends, Discipleship and Small Community

So, I am still in my tent and until late afternoon I was the only one left. All of my old friends gone I was waiting for the finally word from Billeting as to my impending move. I had been told several times by others that I should go to the Camp Manager and complain about being moved. That I hadn't asked for anything since I had been here and that they should just leave me where I was. I thought about it a few times but descided against it as I know that it will work out how God wants it to be.

Late in the day two men showed up on the flight and they weere placed in the tent. I found out when I walked in and woke them up. Both were curled up in little balls freezing. They had been placed in the tent with no sleeping bags or pillows and the AC was still cranking out cold air. One of the men was from Nepal and the other from Southern India. I would come to find out later that the man from Nepal lived in the shadow of Mt Everest and worked as a Sherpa up to Base Camp #2, cool!

When work was completed I returned to the tent and met the two men again. I explained to the men that I stayed in the tent also and that I was there if they needed anything. I also asked if they had blankets or sleeping bags which they did not so I gave them each a part of mine and also turned the temperature up. This is the same Sub contractor for the DFAC so expected that they were not given the proper gear.

I anticpated Chandel coming over that evening to speak about the Gospel but he had not yet arrived. I invited the two new men to come sit, and the one Indian man did, near my bed. I aksed if he could wait one minute while I went to check on my friend. A few minutes later after finding Chandel we returned to my tent and sat with my new tent mate. I introduced Chandel to Jeevan and we begabn to talk about where each was from and our families and such. As I found out they both spoke different languages but each knew Hindi and English which ment we could all communicate easily.

After a few minutes Chandel asked if he could go to the rest room. I know, they are very respectful and sometimes I get surprised by their questions. When Chandel left I began to explain to Jeevan that we were Christians and that I was helping Chandel understand the Bible, that I didn't want him to be offended if I were to say something that was from my Gospel. He responded with a smile and said, "I am a Christian also, may I sit with you?" Of course, how wonderful this is, of course. He then asked if he could get his Bible from his things. When Chandel returned, I stated to him that Jeevan was also a Christian and would join us.

We spent the evening talking, the three of us, and I answered questions as they arrose from both men. I started by reading John 3:16 and inserting Chandels name into the text. Chandel is still struggling a little with his past thoughts of enlightenment through knowledge. As I read this verse I emphasised Love and finishing by drawing similarities of his life with his father and now his children. I explained that God loved Him and that through His faith in Jesus Christ God gave him the gift of Salvation. Love and faith, not love and knowledge or Love and works. Love and Faith in Jesus Christ.

On several occasions we were visted by other men. Abu and a new friend of his sat for a while with us. B.K. and another of the DFAC workers came by to say hello to me as us others sat with our Bibles on our lap. These were all men who were my friends. Men from other Nations and Religions who came because we we all friends. In a small way I knew this was wittness to them all and it would help water the seeds of change in the hearts.

I also read the story of Sauls coversion in Acts 7 and 9. I stopped frequently to answer their questions or explain the text. There is power in this conversion and I used this to illustrate to Chandel that he was blind like Saul, and through Roberts wittness, as Aneneas to Saul, he was made to see. I also showed him now how God may use him as a wittness to his family and friends when he returns home. The whole time Jeevan sat and also listened intently. He used lots of hand jestures to in essence play out the words. He would cover his heart or lift his hands. Sometimes even giving a small hand clap as I excentuated a point. It was a very nice addition to the discussion.

Now towards the end of our talks the first man Javin came back to where we were. I asked him about himself and where he was from. He is the man that lives in the Shadow of Mt. Everest and is the Sherpa. A very small man and not more than 100 pounds. We spoke for a few minutes and I asked him if he would sit with us. In the same way I had done with Jeevan I stated to him that we were discussing our Gospel and that we were just about to pray. He shook his head. I asked if he would stay with us as we did and again he nodded.

I prayed for us all, individually I prayed a blessing on the men. I prayed for our families and our hearts. I prayed the Spirits continued work in our fellowship. I thank the lord for each man and that he continue to bring us together. When I finished, Javin sat with his head down and his hands folded. As he finished he smiled.

I hugged each man and blessed them again as they left. Chandel, like clockwork asked again if I could get him into the bed next to me. We all said good night and went to bed.

I thought as I layed in bed, what a wonderful evening it had been. The Lord had taken away the men that I had come to know in my tent and brought new men, Christians, to the tent. Also that through a simple invitation to two men on two occasions, we we able to have Discipleship and Fellowship that evening.

The idea of small community also came to mind. This is what Frank had preached and I believed in when I was back home. Small community, fellowship and discipleship. We were not in a Church, we were not having some formal meeting. We were living, and eating and speaking with one another about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Here I sat with three men, one brand new Christian, one who knows what, and one other Chritian and we were ok. What I have here, in this land, what I had with the other tent mates was Small Community. It is amazing.

I believe in our busy lives, in our lives that keep us segregated from those around us unless we chose differently, we need to find ways to have this small community. We need to move past the walls and fences and the distance and beleiev that we can find ways to be one body in all things. I am thankful for what the Lord revealed yesterday.

Lord I pray for these men and the others here that can come together in your name. I pray for our hearts to span the gaps and come closer because of your love. I also pray for those that read this and begin to move outside of their box and further into small community. I pray that your word flourish in all of us.

Updates, Prayes and Blessings.

I wanted to update you all first regarding the Napalees DFAC workers who have been working without an agreement and without pay for the last month. It appears that the DCMA, Department of Contract Management and Audit, has been made aware of the situation and will be looking into the matter. This Agency oversees all contracts on the bases and has a representative here to continually audit the programs.

Please pray that because of this information some positive action will be taken on behalf of these workers and that they can begin to earn their money and support their families.

I have not seen Matthew, the Chaplins assitant since in three weeks. He was sent out of the base on a Mission and from what I am told he may not return for a while. He is the yound man who was asked to leave his Church and who is now a Hindu.

Please pray that he is safe and that he have people around him who can speak into his life in a positive way for Christ Jesus. Pray that the Spirit be working in his heart and leading him to the answers he ultimately seeks.

Please continue to Pray for the blessings that continue to be shown in Chandel as he seeks the Lord Jesus more and more each day.

Pray for chandel also as he is already under attach for his conversion as Satan put stumbling blocks in his path. Pray for his strength and courage in this New Life with Christ.

Pray also that as Chandel becomes my bunk mate that I can continue to Minister to him and help him grow as a Child of God. Pray that he may become a Missionary in his home land when he returns there.

A Blessing as the Lord continues to place people in my life who pour into me and who I can pour into for our Lord Jesus Christ.

New Life with Christ!

Shadow Cross, Taken in Camp Hicks Kandahar Afghanistan.

Last night the Billetting office moved all of the men out of my tent into other tents. They were all DFAC workers and the Company wanted them along with the DFAC workers from other tents all in the same area. It was sad to walk in and see them all packing. they explained what was happening and i began to say my so longs to all of them. Maan, Gopaul, BK, Hom each man came to me to say goodbye, I hugged each and gave them all an open invetation to come visit whenever they liked. We also discussed, that they needed to keep me informed of their contract as it still has not been signed.

During all of this Chandel walked in. Chandel was the man who came to Christ a few days ago while working with Robert. He had his Bible in his and was very anxious to sit and talk with me. As I was saying good bye to the other men, I asked that he just wait down by my bed. "Sir I really have questions for to ask you". He was so excited.

Eventually the tent cleared out of all the other men and Chandel and I could sit together. "Sir I want to be moved to this tent, this bed here near you, so I can speak to you every night about Jesus and the Bible". Well I said, I will have to see wha... "sir they will listen to you, and I then can move here". It took me a minute to get past this and start to speak to him about the questions he had.

We sat down and he began to speak. "Sir, I have so many questions. I feel so good. I have been reading and I want you to explain things to me." Ok Chandel, lets pray! Wow, what excitement this man had. He was beeming with anticipation of what was to come. As I finished praying he sat and looked at me with a tear in his eye. He said "sir when I go on R&R can you give me another Bible like this so I can bring it to my wife? I want her to also read the Bible and I want to learn so I can teach her this also." Wow again!

I explained to him how now he had the Holy Spirit dwelling within him and that the Spirt was guiding him now. That his thirst was so that he was getting watered and would have growth. He asked when he would know everything he would need. Now remember I am trying also to overcome the language gap.

My voice is slow and steady and I am holding back my own excitement so that he will understand what I am saying. I explained that he was now on a long journey that will not end. that he will grow and mature until the day he passes to heaven and joins the Father. That he only needs to keep drinking the living water that was the word of God, through reading the word, praying and fellowship and discipleship. That these things would facilitate his growth.

He then "Sir, I had a dream last night. I was sleeping and a man in white came and woke me. He took me by the hand and I sat up. He said to me sir, that he would guide me to heaven. That I needed to stay with him and I would be ok." I was astonished. He looked at me to see if I was surprised with what he said. I told Him that the Spirit was speaking with him and that it was quite alright that this had happened. He smiled.

We discussed many aspects of the Spirit, why He dwelt within us, what Christ had said about sending the Counselor for us and that the Spirit will continually point us in the direction of Jesus as we learn to listen to Him more and more. He finally asked about sin and losing this the Holy Spirit. I explained to him now by drawing a picture of us, the Cross and God, stick figures of course. We were to the left of the Cross and God to the right. I explained about the attonment of our sins and how Christ was sinnless and therefore His death made payment for us. That now He stood before God for us and continues to do so. That God does not see our sin, that He sees Christ in our place.

The conversation was great. Within a half hour we had covered so much. I could see in his face that he was churning with thoughts. I remember when I was first saved, out of the box I went like a thoughbred. Running as hard as I could, across cloud nine.

"Sir, I will come here every night at 8:00 and you can explain to me more. If I stay in that bed there we can speak as often as we can." I accepted his invetation, of sorts, knowing that I was being asked to help this man move forward. I did think for a moment about my own studies and reading but realized that I had reviewed more of the Gospel in a half hour than I have read in a week. This was an opportunity for me to Disciple in the name of Jesus.

This morning I asked about having Chandel moved into my tent and found out that I am being moved out to a new location. After explaining to that Chandel was a new beilever in Christ and that he wanted to be able to talk with me about the Bible, Billeting will move Chandel to the new tent and he will be my bunk mate. He will now be with me as he had wished and we will have plenty of opportunity to Disciple. I also found out this morning from Robert that a Muslim man attempted to convince Chandel that he should not leave his faith yesterday. Chandels response was "No I am a child of God and I will remain a Christain".

I am thankful to the Lord for this opportunity to Disciple a new believer. I am even more thankful that Chandel is so on fire and anticipating going home to India to wittness to his wife. Gods Glory is so fantastic as a week ago this man was sitting in a tent waiting for a chance to work and now He has accepted Jesus and is already a strong wittness to others.

Remebr back if you can to your arrival into the Glory of the lord Jesus Christ. Remmber if you can the emotions of knowing the assurance of your salvation. Rember if you can the thirst that you had as each Word of the Gospel brought new life to your heart. Remember your dreams of Angels and God. Rember that you can still feel that way, just trust in the Lord and Follow Him. Be a strong wittness. Open your heart and allow the Spirit to guide your steps as you speak the Gospel to the World.

Lord I pray for Chandel today that he may become a strong wittness and that he will be a beeken of light to the his family and friends. I pray for those who read this that do know Jesus that they may be drawn closer to Him. I pray for those that do know Him that they grow stronger and remember those things that brought them closer to you.

Seth

Bunker Cross, The walls of the bunkers are poured concrete here at Shindand.

Yesterday I went to noon prayer at the Chapel. Becasue Chaplin Johnson is on R&R it has been just the Chaplins Assistant Richard and I there for the hour. As I walked up though there were two Soldiers sitting on the porch. The doors were still padlocked so I asked the two if it were ok that I sit and wait there until Richard came to open up. They stated that they were just sitting there talking so it was ok if I sat with them.

Now I have never met these men before and they continued to have their conversation for a few minutes while I sat and began to relax and pray a bit in my head. Within a minute or two one of the Soldiers stood and left leaving me and the second Soldier together on the porch. He was a yong man probably in his mid twenties, tall and lanky.

Almost immediately he began with a hello and a conversation started from there. He asked me what I did, and then explained his job to me, and finished his description with and I don't know what I will do after I get out. He ended this thought with, "but I trust God, that he will show me wherre he wants me". A smile came to my face as I said amen. Now here I am thinking here is an opportunity for me to speak to this young man, just as had happend with Matthew a few weeks ago, but that was not the case.

I barely spoke. He began to speak so freelyabout Christ in his life and his faith in God, not knowing anything about me. I listened intently and occasionally would prompt more of his thoughts by my brief statements of agreement or confirmation. He then spoke of his dying father, a man who has pankriatic cancer. He stated that they have known for a while now and that he will die before he is able to go home but that he was ok with this as he knew that his dad would go to heaven. There was a strength in his voice and in his face.

"You see" he said, "before I left to come here I was able to talk to my father and he accepted Jesus Christ as His Lord and Savior". He explained that one night a few days before he had left he was at his parents house. His wife was inside and his father was alone on the back porch. As he went to go sit with his wife he saw his father and thought it would be best to go to him as he would not have too many opportunities left to sit with him.

He described His father as a good man who said he believed in God. He said that his dad felt that he would go to heaven as he hed a good life. He was not a church goer and other than his own feelings of God did not do much more spiritually. The young man explained also that he had never had too many conversations with his father as his dad didn't want it pushed on him. That he didn't need to know or change his ways as he was ok.

The young man sat that night and wittnessed to His father, that now that he was dying that he could be assured of his salvation if he accepted Jesus Christ. He explained that Christ died for him, for his sins, and that through Gods Grace he could sit with him in heaven. He also explained to him that Just being good does not get you into heaven, that you must do also what God asks of you. That you must know Christ and accept Him and have in your heart the Faith in Him.

My words may not be exact bur I was just listening to this young man so intently. Such confidance in his voice. No tears for his father just assurance in what he was saying. He said that his father quietly said to him that nobody had ever spoke to him in such a way and explained the gospel so plainly. On the back porch of his fathers house he sat there and allowed the Spirit to speak through him and help bring his father to Christ.

Nobody ever explained the Gospel in such a way to him before! In this mans time of need, as he sat alone on his back porch, contemplated his sons departure and his own death and angel came with the voice of his son. Gods love mixed with this mans son and came out in sweet compassion for him. No fear just love, the love of Jesus Christ.

In these moments this young man showed me such strength and confidence as a Christian. He knew that it was the last chance to save his fathers life and he did not hold back. I cried thinking of my own parents, thinking of the times we have spoke of our faith and how it sounded so similar to this young mans conversation with his father but with a different outcome. I thought about how many more opportunities I may have to give my parents the assurance of Heaven when they pass. I thought what if I have none.

He was the first Christian in his family and has been growing in the Lord for seven years now. He stated that now that his father can not read his Bible his mother reads it to him as she knows it comforts him. In her love for her husband she now reads the Gospel and hears the Word as her husband slowly dies. He sees this as a blessing also as his mother is not yet saved.

This young mans name was Seth, and Seth showed me strength in his wittness. He showed me that we must use the opportunities that the Lord gives us to share the Gospel with those around us. He wittnessed to me with confidence not knowing anything about me. He wittnessed to his dieing father and I am sure would wittness to anyone what Jesus Christ is doing in his life to any that will listen.

We can all learn from this. We can all trust Him more deeply and speak with more confidence to others. Seth told me that the Bible taught Him not to fear any man to only Fear God. This is why he wittnesses so freely, no fear.

Rejoice! A New Believer In Christ.

Fence Cross, taken last week down in Kandahar.

Our God is bigger than we can imagine. Even with our near sighted vision, when we think that we are just wallowing in our our walk, we find that He had been working the whole time in and through us. Around us and without us. He has a perfect plan that will happen regardless of us. It is amazing!

When I was in Kandahar last week I was tasked with finding and getting to Shindand two Foreign National Truck Drivers that we were going to make Bus Drivers. You also may recall that I was longing for home and after reading about the Rich Young Ruler I was able to step further and release that chain to my home and family. Realize that in Kandahar, if you are a New Employees and not a Manager you are put into the South Park compound, tents 14 or 15, which are generally refered to as "Circus Tents". These tents hold approximately two hundred men. I had to go there to find these two men and assure that they were ready and packed to go to Shindand as soon as I could get us manifested on a flight.

As you enter these tents you are overwhelmed by the amount of people there are there. They because they are not permenant in the Camp do not have ID tags and therefore they can not leave the tent area unescorted. They are fed there and spend, some of them, up to a month here so when someone with a badge comes in all eyes look with anticipation of being chosen to go to work. It is very stark to see as the men come walking up from the back intent on hearing the conversation.

The man in charge of everyone, the Tent Foreman, then calls out the names and up comes Chandel. Then a call out again for the second man. Somebody calls out that he was sent TK the day before. Immediately other men ask for the job and begin to state their qualifications, "I can drive a bus". As I first meet Chandel he is a young Indian man but looks more to me as if he Spanish. I explain to him what my purpose is and that he should be ready to leave when the call him to go.

Now I will attempt to weave in the second part of the story here and then bring it back together later. Here in Shindand when my Tent mates first arrived in the tent I found out that one men from Napal was a Christian, the rest are Hindu's. I attempted to speak with him but he does not speak or understand English at all so it was difficult to communicate. I had given him a Bible and asked him to prayer but he never would accept my invitation and the Bible was in English so he could not understand it. Forthe last month this man and I have had little contact other than in the tent.

Now, I did finally return from Kaf with Chandel. I had kept him under my wing and he stayed close to me as we traveled. I was making sure he understaood where he was going and what it would be like. I even snapped a picture of him on the flight as I believe it was his first on a Military type aircraft and thought he might like to send it home. On our arrival I got him up to the offices and showed him around and eventually introduced him to David his Supervisor. David then temporarily assigned him to the crane operation which happens to be where Robert works.

As God would have it, Chandel and Robert began to talk and Robert being a strong wittness began to speak into Chandels heart. Apperently Chandel had not been a practicing Hindu for a while and had been seeking Christians in his life but until now had not had any. Robert and he spoke for sevral days and yesterday morning as Robert prayed with Chandel, Chandel gave his life to Christ. Now I did not nkow this until later on last evening when we went to prayer.

Now last night when I left my tent one of the men stopped me and said that Abar, the Christian wanted to come to prayer with me. Wow, I thought, this is great but how is this going to work. I can't speak to him much more than a young child and that may not due for prayer, but "come on" I said. As we walked in the full moon light, thatr is as much light as we get here at night I made idol conversation about the moon, asking what the word was in his language.

We entered the Chapel and spoke the assistant for a few minutes when in walked Robert and to my surprise Chandel. Imagine my look, as they proceeded to tell me that he had come to Christ and how he felt that I came to Kaf to pick him and bring him here so that he and Robert could speak. I cried for this man. I was amazed that he had found Christ and now was beeming with excitement to begin his journey. He explained that he was the first in His family and that he couldn't wait to tell his wife. that he wanted to explain to her as Robert had done for him. This is an amazing moment.

Now why the connection with the Abar the Napaleese man. Chandel and he speak the same language. Chandel was able to now communicate with Abar and let him know what we were talking about. They even plan now to sit and speak and learn from one another regarding the Gospel. How perfect was this.

Only in Gods perfect timing could all this come together in such a way. One man who could have spent weeks more in KAF brought here at the right time. Pace in an area outside of his field until his job opened up. Who meets with Robert at a time when he is seeking Christ Jesus. Robert faithfully speaking the word of God to this man when he could get in trouble for doing such and helping bringing him to Christ. The very same evening, a man Christian man who can not understand me or read our Bible comes to prayer after a month to be there on the very same night that the newly saved man who speaks his language comes to pray.

If you are not a believer you would say this is coincidence. I know this is God! For only He, in His perfect timing, could have lined these things up so planely. Only He could have worked this plan out the way it occurred. I have no doubt that He would have worked this out without me, but I am glad He chose to have me participate.

Rejoice! For there is a New Believer in Christ Jesus. Rejoice! As the Angels in Heaven are doing. Join them in this moment and rejoice!

I was blind but now I see!

This Cross was taken down in KAF last week. It is from the side of a dumpster.

I did not see the things of this world as I drove at sixty miles and hour down 787. I did not stop in the projects and look at the poverty that some people have as I was going to some resteraunt downtown. When I go into my house I can forget those that have no house. I only need to reflect on the poverty of this world when it served a purpose. I only had to be shocked by the cruelness of others when it was in the news or the purpose for a charity event.

Now I am in the middle of what for most is only something they read about in the news paper. I see the segregation. I see how one race of people will be so disrespectful to another. We all live here together, the Americans, Phillippinos, the Napaleese, Kenyans, Indians, Masodonians, Bosnians, and any others you care to throw in. We all take the same risks, eat the same food, live in the same nieghborhoods and work in the same buildings, yet there still exists the seperations. There still exists the segregations. There still exists the classes, the prejudice, the abuse and rudeness and the lack of basic care that we have anywhere else in this world.

I have seen men, to such a drastic way look at someone who could not speak English and over enunciate "CAN YOU UNDERSTAND ME"? I have seen an African American question an Indian man being in the same bathroom as an ExPat. I see signs showing how the way other cultures use the toilets is wrong, with a big X through the picture and a check mark next to the way we do it in the United States. I see how the tents are divided by Third Country Nationals and ExPats. How the tent that you have makes all the difference to who you are. What does this sound like to any of us.

David in his comment to me on yesterdays post pointed out the juxtaposition between the last two days posts. On one hand I speak of deeping of prayer and on the next how wrong that men here are treated so poorly and there lack of being paid does not matter to anybody. David makes a wonderful point, Is Christianity only about the prayer and the Spiritual things that make us feel good? It is about being like Jesus. Walking and talking to those that need him most. It is about healing, not just physically but emotionally, the pains of others. It is about getting your feet dirty, having noplace to rest your head, and getting off our comfy couches after we are done with prayer and touching people physically.

Our Lord asked us to make Disciples of the world, we are Disciples of Christ Jesus. He taught us to pray and he taught us to walk with those who need us most. We can go deep, as I suggested on Saturday. We can seek His fellowship in prayer and quiet times as He saught those times with the Father, but what will we do when He gets up from prayer and walks down to the projects? Will you follow Him then?

I was blind now I see! Not just the happy things of our Spirituality but also the apauling things of this world. Jesus asks us to do both. He asks us to go to the ones in need and heal them. To Show the Gospel to them regardless of who or where they are. As David points out, true Christianity is manifested in our Love and concern for others.

Thank you David.

Father I pray that our Spirtual life begins to expand past our prayers and inner thoughts. I pray that we can establish our Faith and manifest it into true compassion for those around us, regardless of the needs. That we may be like Jesus Christ in prayer and in action. That when He rises that we follow.

Work, with no pay!

Ok, I don't know if this one will get me in trouble but it is definately what is on my heart today so here goes.

As you may know if you are following my Blog, the men in my tent are primarily DFAC workes, cooks and kitchen helpers from Napal. They are sub contractors and were hired through a company in Dubia to come here and work. Most of the men spent a month in Dubia so that the Visa's could be worked out to get them here and then they were brought in here 23 days ago to take over for the old contractor who lost the contract to us.

Understand something, most of these men come here because it is the only options they have to take care of their families. Here they can make three times the money they can make at home which equals around 12,000 dollars a year, tops. They are limited to their access to phones and internet so even speaking with their loved ones is brief at best.

For the last few weeks the men have been working and doing their jobs. The have trained with the workers that will be leaving and now work 12 hours a day like the rest of us. They are very thankful to be working as the first couple of weeks they did nothing but wait to start working. Up to now, however they do not have a contract, they don't know their wages, and they have not been paid at all!

They stopped me today and expressed, that they are very concerned with this. Their families are waiting for money and they have none. They are working for nothing at this point, and it is effecting them emotionally. Almost two months without pay, some prabably longer, and one month working for nothing.

I told them that they would have to speak with their Agent and see what he said. I also suggested that they speak to the Camp Manager and let him know the situation and see if he could do anything. You could tell that they were distraught and almost helpless. One of my tent mates BK, said his heart is very sad and he is very concerned for his family, his head held low.

As I left them my heart was very heavy. I feel bad for them as I know I would not be here for one more minute if I could not support my family. All I could think is, what could I do, how can I help? It tugged on me as I thought for now this is slavery. The men can't afford to go home and there is no other option for them so theystay and work for nothing.

As I returned to go in my office I turned and went over to the Camp Managers office. I figured at least I could let hom know there was an issue. He would certainly want to know that there was an issue in his Camp, right? Nope, "not our concern, have them talk to their boss". I am amazed that in just a brief blowoff that their is such a lack of concern, of compassion for these men. Any ExPat would be furious with this if it were him, they actually get upset at smaller things than this yet, it is not his concern.

I am struggling with my next step. What do I do from here. We are asked to fight for the poor and weak. To stand for what is right and just. Here it is in my face. Maybe not the big issue that will change the world but something that must be fixed. I am however partially scared which is what bothers me also. Why be scared, what harm is there in helping, it is the right thing to do. I don't know!

We don't get to see this at home. This is the appitomy of human nature and from what I see a tottal lack of caring. I pray for these men and this situation and hope that it will work out correctly for all. I pray that I may be able to help them in some way. I ask the Lord to guide me and that my actions and words be honorable to Him.

Please pray for this situation and know that not everything in this world has changed. In many places people are still used and abused. This is not horrific but it is not right.

Shhh! Be quiet and listen.

Yesterday while waiting to get out of the "Black Hole" called Kandahar I had an opportunity to finish reading Brother Lawrence "The Practice of the Presence of God". This was recomended to me by David Eames over a year ago and I had put it on my computer to bring here with me.

Brother Lawrence was born in France in 1610 and after being a soldier as a young man became a Monastic Priest. Brother Lwaerence spent His life dedicated to being in continious Presence of God. His letters, however brief, illustrate his dedication to this pursuit, which in his words was achieved. Every moment of his time was spent in service and devoted to doing nothing outside of His will. His every thought focussed on this task.

He found at first, many years of reflection of his own life, his sin, and the things that were not of God. His later years developed into concious realization of Gods presence in His life at all times. This truly facinated me, the thought of our ability to submitt to this kind of devotion. To meditate every effort and thought on that of God, evryday. Brother Lawrence even states that he did not pick a piece of straw from the ground with unless it was of the Spirit and to the Glory of God.

I pondered this for a while debating in my mind if this was feasable today, in our time. If I could, with all of the distractions in my life, find a way to be in the Presence of God, continiously. Hey there is a big difference between the 1600's and today. Life was simpler then right? That shouldn't hold me back, my efforts should still be the same if possible. It is all perspective as they also had their distractions, different but still distractions. And after all, the Bible is 2000 years old and it still is aplicable in our lives.

Brother Lawrence, describes part of the process as being able to clear the mind of all other thoughts during prayer. To sit without distractions and focus solely on nothing but Him. This is something that I need work on. How my mind wonders when I pray. I can not go but just a minute without the thought of something other than God poping into my head at causing me to shift to that subject. Because of this, you can hear in my verbal prayers the shifts as I go from my family to the world, from the church to fellowship. The mind wonders and the voice follows.

So at lunch, while the Muslims were in prayer inside the church I sat outside on the porch and descided that I would do nothing but sit and attempt to focus only on the cross. Just the cross for the hour. No prayer, no other thoughts of home or family, just the cross in my mind. It was difficult and several times I had to move a thought out and reestablish the picture in my mind. But for long moments I had nothing but the cross. It was nice and I began to be able to focus quicker back to that moment as it faded into thought.

My hour went by quickly, I was actually shocked when I finally looked at the time. I was content with the hour and realized, maybe just in a small way that it is possible to remove the distractions enough to focus soely on Him. We can become patient and thoughtless of sorts and allow Him to speak to our Hearts. I believe that I don't necessarily have to hear His voice but simpley be in a state that He can work within me. This seemed to be that moment.

I will continue to practice this. I think it is a good state to progress to in my walk, finding queitness for Him to work within me. Not my thought, not my will, but His be done. Brother Lawrence begin His journey in this manner, and developed in into a continual presence with God in His life. Maybe, just maybe, I can achieve what He has done.

So I issue a Classic Frank Wray Challenge, today, spend some time just in quiet, focussed only on Him. No questions, no prayer request, nothing of yourself, just quiet and Him. Do this for one hour and as a thought arrises gently push it aside and return to the cross.

I pray a peace today for all and a quietness in our hearts as we seek Him. Let our hearts then be opened for His filling and His desires and void of ours. May we learn to begin to walk fully with Him and all that we do be to His honor and His Glory.

Home away from home again.

After six days in Kandahar I made it back home to my home away from home, Shindand. I was finally able to get on a flight on a Dash 8-100 Turbo Prop at 830 this morning. It was actually pretty nice like a little Liear Jet with props. As opposed to the helicopter of the first flight in to Shindand this was about a third of the time and flew a different route.

I call this a home away from home as it does feel like my space, my place where I now reside. I looked forward to returning here and being in my bed and sitting at my desk. Everything that I have, that I did not carry with me is here. My return in a way felt comfortable.

It is however only my home away from home. I still long for the return to my own home in the States. The place where my family is, and my heart is. I do not want to allow this place, Shindand, to ever feel the same as my home in New York, that thought actually scares me. I don't want to be that comfortable in this place.

A home is filled with Love and familiartity, things that bring us comforting memories, articles that we have saved that we cherish. Here I could leave with nothing and be ok. A home also has our families, those most precious of things. They are what most of us need most. They are what remains in our heart where ever we go.

I pray for the Lord to settle me down, to allow me to come back here and begin my job again. I pray that I realize that He is ever present with me and that I may fil my heart with Him. I pray for my family, always.

Be blessed and when you walk into your home tonight look at the things that you have, look at your family and be thankful that you are there.

Aaron

This Cross is inside the Orthadox Church in the Bulgarian Camp here at Kandahar. This is the most wonderful example of craftsmnaship I have seen in a while. The Church is made of all wood. Everything including the crosses and walls. Soldiers built it and it is marvelous.

My food intake here at KAF has gone down to a minimum as I don't have a food card and therefore you are stuck to a schedule when the bus will bring you over to the DFAC and back. Because of this I have been eating only a big lunch evryday. Don't worry mom, it is enough for me as my appetite has diminished anyway since I have been here.

So yesterday I went and had a big lunch but of primarily vegatables and alos a peice of chicken. I was full when I left so I figured that I was good. Yesterday also, if you read the blog, I came to realize that I had not been letting go of the one thing that was keeping me truly from Him, the longing for home. I prayed most of the day about this and was able to really make progress past this. I felt good and had a new vigor for what I was doing and the time that I would spend here in Afghanistan. I truly felt as if I had stepped past a stubling block in my heart.

I spoke to Catherine, and as we find time and time again, when one of us is Spiritually strong Satan will attach the other. We have experienced this several times now over the past few months. He battles against the family as well as the indivdual so we have seen this seesaw several times. It wasn't that it was a strong attach but enough that we prayed and talked to try to fight him back. At the end of this Catherine was stronger and focussed on the Lord.

So as time passed yesterday I sat and continued to read my Bible. My plan here is to read through it once this year at least. I was hopeing for twice but my schedule and Gods plans for my ministry here use a lot of the spare time, thankfully. So these few days have served that I can move ahead of schedule and be prepared for times when I can't read. It was a nice day, and a nice fellowship with the Lord.

So at around 1800 I began to feel hungry again and instead of just ignoring it I decided to go to dinner and then walk back in time to check todays flight and call Catherine when she arrived home from work.

I sat at a table alone, as alone as you could be with three hundered others around you and began to eat my meal. A few minutes into it two men sat down in front of me across the table. They were both Phillipino and the one directly across from me was very small and thin, long hair in a pon tail, and a thin mustache. He smiled. I don't know how the conversation started but we began to talk about how long we were here, our children and families and what we did.

He explained to me that he had been here for three years and that he did this for his children. He had gotten married late in life and now at 51 he had a three kids, the oldeat ten. He was trying to make their life good. I told him that I only was here for one year. He smiled and said only one? Yes! That I planned on returning home and finnishing school. He asked uin what and I explained, Biblical Studies, that I hoped to be a Pastor. He said "Oh" and perked up.

He then stated that he believed in God but not the Ten Commandments and this began our conversation. We spoke about the troubles in the land and the root of conflicts and wars. I explained to him that I felt that mans pride is at the root of all sin. That in some form or another a man believes that he is better than another, or stronger, or better looking or more deserving and that is what stems all other sin. Ultimately that man sins as a result of not fearing God and believing he can do better without Him.

He then asked me a question about the difference between Catholics and Christians. Now I know that most Phillipinos are Catholics so I now felt I better tred lightly, however I took a deep breath and dove in. I actually thought for a moment that this could be the moment that somebody thinks that I am prostilitizing and that I get in trouble. I continued and explained the differences starting with history and ending with works vs grace. We spoke briefly about Baptism and that he was baptised as a baby and how I at thirty nine. We spoke about giving communion and if that was given to the Ordained only or to all that believe in rememberance of Him.

The next big question was about those that are already dead. Can anything be done to get them into heaven if they did not believe in God before they died. I explained that for me the only path is through Jesus Christ and that if you did not believe in Him then you were destined for eternal seperation from God, Hell. This didn't sit well as he had family members that he prayed for to go to heaven even though they did not believ in God.

I explained now that God is just, that He treats everyone justly. Because of this justness He must not waiver from the guidlines that He has established. That if He showed favoritism to just one person that did not believe in the Lord Jesus Chrsit and have faith in his heart that He was Lord and Savior that He would not be Just. That we must know that He is unchanging or our Faith would not have a foundation.

He sat back and smiled. The he said to me, "I think you must stay here longer than a year. I think you should be speaking like this to others". Oh no! One year. I replied. I then stood up and asked him his name. Aaron he replied. I said Aaron it was nioce to meet you, I hope I get to see you again. We said our goodbyes.

I walked away, thanking God for the opportunty to wittness to this man. Granted he was a Catholic but still the Lord had provided me an opportunity tio speak of my Faith to another. Not just to sit there and ignore the situation out of fear but to actively engauge in a conversation with somone I did not know. This is seed planting, this is making disciples of the World. I walked home praising Him for that opportunity.

I thought as I laid in bed how the day progressed. As I woke that morning I was in dispare and lonely. I turned to the word and saw that I had a stumbling block, "My Money" had been getting in the way. I spent the day in His Word and in the evening the Spirit worked through me and I was able to wittness to another of His people. He will bring us all to a place iof descsion and then let us make a choice, do we walk with Him or not.

Lord I pray that each one of continue to trust in you and choose to Follow you. I pray that we step in faith to your Word and your promises to us. I pray that each believer be a light in the darkness and a voice to others of your Glory.

What's Your Money?

Beam Cross, taken back at Kandahar Air Field. This supports the upper decking on the second floor living area.

I read in His Utmost For His Highest this morning the devotional that made me really think about this continual ache that I have for going home. It was actuall the second part of yesterdays devotional which concerns Luke 18:22 and 23, the Rich young ruler.

Yesterday, Luke 18:23 "Yet lackest thou one thing; sell all that thou hast, and come follow Me". Now Jesus is speaking to a Rich man who in his heart believes that he has done all that God has commanded of Him. That he has follwed every command and therefore he is in the right place with God. Jesus however throws him for a loop, and finds the one thing that this man won't let go of. Not that it was his money but that it was one thing that sat in this mans heart that he was keeping him from completely following Jesus.

Today, Luke 18:24 "And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful:for He was very rich". You see in this, the man knew it was the one thing that he would not give up. The one thing that was ever present in his heart that kept him from the next step of his devotion to Christ. Jesus was simply saying "what about this?" The man knew it was a sticking point for him. He became sorrowful for this, in what? The idea of giving up his money or the fact that he wasn't completely devoted to Christ?

The point that Oswald Chambers makes comes forth in this one sentence in the devotional "Are you more devoted to the idea of what Jesus wants than to Himself?" Wow, read this again, "Are you more devoted to the idea of what Jesus wants than to Himself?" Please let that sink in as I did this morning. I always assumed that the parable was about money, it is about true devotion. Ask yourself the question over and over again and see what the answer is.

For me, the ache that I feel about going home is my money right now. It is something that stays in my head and in my heat that I just won't give up to Him. I have the idea that He has me here for a reason but I fight that by expressing on my face and in my words that there is something more important to me than that purpose.

If He has me here for a reason than I should be fully engauged here. I should trust in Him that my family is ok and that He also has a reason for them to be without me now. I should realize that my friends will be ok and that it is not important that I be sitting next to them as He has a purpose and a reason for them also. I should, similar to fasting fasting, not express the discomfort to those that may not understand, to the public. I must show strength in my trust of the Lord. I must give up the longing for home so that I can "Follow Him" as He asked me to.

In this one thing I have found that I am more devoted to the idea of why God has me in this place than just in that He does have me in this place. I have followed Jesus here, He has now turned and asked me about my "money". He has asked me to be devoted to Him fully when I have not. When will He turn and ask you? What will you see? Wat will your answer be?

Lord, I pray that each person that reads this today sit before you and honestly answer your question? I pray that we all become devoted to you and not just the idea of you. May each person be blessed by their own journey and experience You fully today.

Auto Pilot.

Last night I was manifested on a Military Air flight, C130, out of Kandahar to Shindand. As I have described in the past there is what they call a "Show Time" and then a later flight time. The 'Show Time" is just that, the time you are expected to show up and check in for the flight. Generally the exact flight time is held seceret for security reasons.

So last night I showed up at Kilo Ramp, Military Names for things, at 1230 in the morning for a 0115 Show Time. This required a bus ride at 1210 which was the closest one I could catch, maybe even the only one, to get me there on time. Nothing is designed for comfort in the Military so from 1230 until 0115 we all sat outside the front door on hard metal bus station type seating until they come out and call the flight.

At 0115 out comes an Air Force man calling for passengers to Shindand, they take your ID, pasport or CAC card and two LOA's (Letter of Authorizations) which is the US Governments Document that is like a Visa for us while in country. This is so the y can run a manifest and check everybody out before you board. When they do this everybody jumps up and hurries to get their information to them quickly because this is how you ultimately get on the flight. If you are not on the top of this list you could get bumped if the flight is full.

At this climatic moment you are now close to getting on the flight but you wait for the reassurance when they come back out and call role call. That is when you know for sure if you have made the cut. Fortunately on this flight we all made it and proceeded now into the Terminal. This reminds me of the old Union Movies when workers would line up at the gates and hope to be called for some work. "I got five spots today. You. You. You. You and you." We gather our stuff and go to check in.

Yes Kilo Ramp has a regular passenger security screening process. Here, unlike most PAX Terminals they check for contraband leaving the base. It is funny because soldiers will place rifle cases and full battle gear through the machines, but they are looking for items such as knives and illegal wepons. Right after this we place all of our belongings onto an Air Craft Pallet and then proceed upstairs to wait some more. Again on hard metal seating.

I don't know how long it was as I layed down, in a very awckward position and tried to sleep, but a Female Airman came in a stated that the flight to Shindand had been cancelled. Along with that the next flight was in two days. When asked she stated that the Auto Pilot on the Aircraft was not functioning and therefore the plane was not going to stop in Shindand and proceed directly to Bagram for repairs. Apperently the pilots do not fly to Shindand without Auto Pilot. At this point someone commented that Kandahar was like a pit that you just can't get out of.

So we go and collect our bags and exit the Terminal, now about 0215. Nobody answering the phones and no buses we decide to walk. It is at least a mile and the three men that are with me all have all of their belongings with them. Thankfully, some of the soldiers who were to be on the plane with us recognized us and picked us up. taking the burdon of this walk from us.

So as I laid in bed trying to fall asleep over the very obtrusive snores of my roommate I thought about this Auto Pilot that was broke. It seemed to me that there was no back up plan, that the piolets relyed solely on this instrument to guide them to one location, but not the other. They could fly to Bagram but not to Shindand. Shindand must be more difficult, maybe a smaller spot on the map and herder to find. The pilets relyed on this in one instance and not the other.

I related this back to our walk with the Lord. How we tend to rely on the Lord for the hard things in our life but we would fly with out Him for the easy things. The Lord for most of us becomes our Auto Pilot. We set Him, by prayer or crying out, only when we need to be guided into a tight spot, a small spot on the map. Like these Pilots, we are comfortable doing the easy things on our own and we forget about the Lord, but when times get tough we choose Him, like the Auto Pilet on this plane.

The Lord wil guide us in all things. We need to rely on that truth in every instance in our lives. We can not look at Him as only an instrument to be used when times are tough. We must know Him and allow Him to show us the way in every instance in our lives.

The Wait

I writing realy late today as I spent seven hours in a hallway waiting to recieve my CAC card. I could have made an appointment and avoided the wait. The next available days were on Friday. So I sat and waited from 0620 to 1330 and then finally my name came up.

It did afford me time to read Max Lucado, God Came Near which I started on the flight down here, and I finished while I waited. I don't think I have ever read a book in two days, so to speak. If any of you don't know the book he wrote it in 1986 and it was republished in 2004.

The reading afforded me time of reflection which in many ways is good and in many bad. These books are written for people to relect on their lives and that is fine except when they speak of being a husband or a dad or children and things. That is difficult for me as those are the things that pain me the most. Useually as you read these books, sitting in your easy chair, you can, in the moments of true heartfelt emotion stand and go hug your wife and cry on her shoulder as you think of her love. Or go out on the front porch and watch your son as he skateboards and think of when he tried his fiirst trick and now he is kick flips with ease. Or play a game with your daughter as she talks about a new animal she wants for a pet and you just fall into the thoughts of her eventual wedding day. Here those things can't be done.

It takes me a while sometinmes to get past these moments. I sat today in a hallway holding back excessive tears praying to the Lord, praying and giving to Him what is His. The things that I can't handle on my own, my lonliness, my time away from my cry to go home. I sat and spoke to the Lord that in my mind I knew that I must complete what I have started. I must hold strong to the beliefs that I am here for a reason, even if that reason is something I never planned on.

I sat for a while today just going over in my head the Truths that the Bible speaks to us. That He will not give me anything I can not handle. That He will give me rest. That He will never leave or forsake me. That I am called to glorify Him in all things and that in all things I should be thankful for they are of Him. Ialso sat and struggled against the evil that tells me it would be ok to quit. It would work out even if you were home in your easy chair. The battle is not over however the fighting has lessoned.

The wait, it is what hurts the most. The wait, before I can hug my wife. The wait before I can return home. The wait is also what I know will bring me strength. The wait is what cases me to wrestle with God and fight the devil. The wait hurts and the wait rewards.

Like today the wait was tendious and uncomforatble but I endured and was able to get my CAC card. So will be this year, tedious and uncomforatable. In the end I pray that I was able in some way just to Glorify Him.

A Brief Return to Kandahar Airfield

I recieved notice that my background check was completed and that I was cleared to recieve a CAC card. CAC Card is a government ID Card that can be used basically like a Passport. It shows how slow things can be with the Government as I have been here for two months working and I have finally passed the background check!

Anyway, so last night I hopped on a C130 at 1030 in the evening and returned to KAF. The last two trips on C130's were relatively smooth but this one was very abrupt in nature. Quick take off, and I mean quick and quick flight and then a quick hard landing and an abrupt stop. I felt like I was playing the game "Luggage" that the kids play sometimes when they are bored in the back seat of the car. Leaning back and forth as the vehicle makes turns.

I don't know if I described it in the past but a C130 is not built for comfort. You sit in net seats sideways, shoulder to shoulder with your neighbor. No seat assignments, no window seats, no toilet, no peanuts or pre flight safety briefing. You are lead out onto the runway behind the plane and loaded up the tail while the engines are still running and ready to go. You just pile in, take a seat and hold on as they start moving before the doors are even closed. It is very noisy and uncomfortable and I do not know how anybody could be on one for any length of time. God Bless our soldiers.

So we get into KAF. Get off the plane and immediately get on a bus to come around the airfield to the TLS building. They call it this as it was the Talibans Last Stand in Kandahar. When we dropped the Airborne here this one building became the hold up point for the Taliban which apperently did not work out very well for them. Through this building, grab the backpack and out to the truck to get to our Camp. Rocket Attack wooop! Rocket Attack wooop! Rocket Attack wooop! Not even five minutes here and there shooting again. Down in the dust I went, waiting one minute and then back inside the building.

There is something about this place that is just unsettleing to me. Maybe it is the busyness of it or maybe it is the unclenliness. Something about it just makes me nervous and unsettled. I woke up to go over to the processing building which is quite a ways away only to find that it is closed on Sundays for computer dowloads. Now I get to stay an extra day and I just don't like the idea of it.

I did get to go to the Bulgarian Chapel as I walked. It is completey made out of plywood and is actually very beutiful. The have a steeple on it and a big heavy wooden door. Vaulted ceiling and all of the fixens on the inside. All made from wood. It is obviously an Orthodox Church and has the wall of Saints covering the Holy area in the front where the altar is. I stood and prayed there for a few minutes.

So here I sit, in the main office at Camp Hicks. Watching all of the people do what they do. I will go check out some of my paperwork items and then go over to the little tent Chapel by the American DFAC at 10:00. I am looking forward to that time. More and more that is the best time of the days for me, when I am foccussed soely on Him. It is obvious to me why, because He is my Comforter and I can Rest in Him.

I know that I am here to do a job and that is a priority for me but I am begining to truly understand that my life is nothing without Him. That I am called to service for Him and that is where He would have me. I am anxious and nervous in the world because I see what it does, I see the reality of mans fall in so many ways. I am nervous as the business around me takes me away from Him. I will fullfill my requirements here to this company and do the best thatI can but my life is will become fully engauged in His service.

I believe that this is the feeling that brought me away from my last job and that the Lord was moving me towards Him even then. I believe that being here and reliving the same feelings but having a new perspective on them confirms what it was, that He wants me to give Him my all, everyday. It is good that I am here and it will be even better when I have completed this mission but for now I will remain faithful to my word as He promises to remain faithful to His.

All be blessed and know that I love you dearly. Pray for me and this place as I pray for you. May the Lord bring you rest and you find Him to be your only comforter also.

Rejected!

On Fridays we do not have Prayer as the Muslims use the Chapel for their prayer. What I have been doing for the last two Fridays is going down and sitting on the front porch with the Chaplins assistant, a young man named Matthew. I am not sure but he can't be anything over twenty one years old.

Each week I have arrived and he has reminded me that there is no Prayer as the Muslims are having their prayer. I agree and then grab a Bible and a Hymnal and ask if I can just sit with him. You see the first week instead of praying we sat and talked about faith. I would have expected that a Chaplins Assistant would be a Christian but I guess in the Military that is not always the case. Turns out that he is a Hindu. Yes the Chaplins Assistant from Pennsylvania is a Hindu.

You have to know also that the laws of this country are that you can not Prostilatize. Also that the Military must be all inclusive and not try to convert anybody within the ranks. With this I must be careful how I interact in public however I have a little more freedom than do the Chaplins.

As we spoke last week I just had to ask him how he became a Hindu. This young man began by saying that he grew up Christian in a small town. That his family always went to church and was very active there. He had done all the same things that other kids had done there including Mission Trips and the like. By his own account he was very Spiritual and knew God but he always had questions for the leadership and teachers. He stated that he was always curious and inquisitive so he asked them about all sorts of things relating to God and science and stuff. He was just trying to figure things out for himself.

Apperently at some point some of the people in the Church did not like the questions he was asking and the Church asked him to leave. I don't know the exact details of this but he was pretty clear that his parents were very disapointed and he never returned to the church again. Now from what I can tell from talking to him is that he was not a drinker or partier and that he was for the most part your average teenager. He however expresses that he felt rejected and judged by the people at the Church.

With this he felt that he was still faithful and beieved in God so he continued to search for the "truth" of God. He says he found it in Hinduism and began to persue this in his life. I have to say for a young man he is pretty well versed in the religion. He indicated that this has created a little rif with His family but they support him in what he was doing. He also became a Chaplins Assistant so he could continue to persue his faith and faith in general.

My heart truly goes out to this young man, as should all Christians hearts. He had a relationship with the Lord, his family was faithful, he was doing the right things, and from his perspective his church rejected him. His words were "thats not the God that I knew". I actually cried in front of this young man. I expressed the fact that if I had entered our church and had been rejected by hypocracy then I would probably been dead by now. Think about this tragedy. Think if this is happening within our congregation.

Our conversation turned to the difference between God and man. That he was judged by man not by God and that his statement was correct, it was not the God that he knew. That the people of his church had judged him, not God. That the God that he and I knew allowed for questions and searching. That the God that he knew wanted us to come to Him with understanding and faith. That the God that he knew tells us not to judge others, that judgement is His.

I try to show him compassion and understanding as the lack of that is what caused him to seek a differnt path then through Jesus Christ. I try to express my interest in him as those that rejected Him found more interest in their religion then in the life of this young man. I try to offer him honesty as those that judged him were not honest in who they were, as we are all in the same boat. I try to listen as those he asked questions of didn't hear him seeking. I try to show him Christ.

How many have come to us seeking Him and have been rejected by our hypocracy. How many children have moved in other directions because we were too interested in the paticulars of the religion rather than the fostering of the relationship. How many have come to us, to Him, seeking rest and only to have us reject them before they had a chance to reach Him.

Imagine that Jesus stands in the front of our sanctuary and that every guest, every poor man, every child seeking answers must walk past each and every one of us first, before they get to Him. What would they see? What would they hear? What would they feel as the eys of us all look opon them? If not Christ, then our heads should be down in prayer that we become more like Him who has NOT rejected us.

Sins Trap!

There is a man here that for the last four days I have watched move more and more into a sinful habit. He has found a website that has Phillipino woman that are looking for marriage. However as you can picture the website offers descriptions and photos photos of the woman and the ability to chat with them.

What you have to understand is that he is married, his second. Has several children and right now he and his wife don't get along very well. They talk often but always seem to have issues. I know this because he is very vocal about what is happening. There are problems with money, and expenses and whos working and who isn't and those types of things. He has even spoke about divorce as he is just sick of it.

So his journey began somehow with the web site and jokes about how he was going to go on R&R to the Phillipines. Pointing and joking about the woman, how they were dressed and what they wrote. At first he acted as if it was no big deal. "Just looking, it ain't no big deal"! That evening I came into the office at 2100 and he was still sitting at his desk viewing the website. More interest however, but still trying to pass things off as no big deal.

Yesterday, not only was he back on the site but now he was texting with the woman and staring and reading intently at the conversations. Every once in a while bringing the computer to someone and showing them one of the woman and snickering. At one point he even mentioned that one of the woman called him on his cell phone. He laughed and said that she was wacked for calling. Even reiterating that he was married and was staying with his wife.

Today, first thing in the morning he is back on the computer and texting with the woman again. The most startling part of it however is that I am seeing him from the side and there is an intent stare at the screen as he examines the photos and reads the words. I can see a very strange look in his eyes. The lust is apperent to me.

Over the last three days he has slid down a slippery path. He began as, in his mind, an innocent look at a web site. He justified his actions and reconciled in his head that it was ok. Now he sits and stares intently at the screen and recieves calls from woman that he doesn't even know because of this desire that has built up insisde him.

I don't want to be a hypocrat and act as if this has never happened to me. I have been there and looked at websites that I should not have. It is even a struggle here not to look at mild sites that would cause me to faulter. I think for most men there is a constant battle of the eyes that is difficult to avoid.

I guess I write because I have never seen this from the outsiders perspective. I am seeing his eyes, wondering if that is what I looked like when I looked at things like that. Is that what lust looks like. Is that how it happens to me, by slowly justifieing more and more until I am hooked. It disturburbed me to think that is how I may be at times.

It also demonstrates vividly how sin works in our lives, how Satan sets his traps and then draws us in. A brief mention or add for a website. One click and we step in, not realizing that we have eaten now of the fruit. The taste is pleasing so we continue to progress into it, saying that it tasts good so how could it be bad. Once we are fully engauged then we don't care that the taste has turned sour, that the fruit was poison. It is now in us and we crave to continue until we get the look that does not see past the screen. We get the look that only those around us may see as we are blinded by what is in front of us and now set in our heart.

A wise man once told me that the only way to avoid sin is to flee it. If you have a problem with internet pornography stay away from the computer. If you can't do that then have a strong filter put on. It is stated that way in the Bible, flee from sin. Unless we are willing to flee sin we will end up straing intently at a computer screen while our wives sit at home thinking about us staying safe and coming home in one peiece. Unless we know our weeknesses we will allow ourselves to step in the trap that Satan sets.

John 2:10 always comes to mind when I think about this downward spiral. the chief servant, after tasting the water Jesu has turned into wine says "Everybody sets out the fine wine first, then, after people have drunk freely, the inferior. But you have kept the fine wine until now".
Satan like everyone else who wants you to sin, will give you his best first until you are drunk, then sease to give you their best once you are hooked. Christ on the other hand will always give you His best. We are all going to fall short at some point. We are going to move into something that may not be our best. We must turn to Him and realize that He will always give us His best.

Men, remember to flee first and reach for Him. If that doesn't work, put a mirror in front of your face and see what you look like, or think of the ones you love, if they were to see you at that moment, what would they think. If you do fall into sin, realize that He will forgive you and that he has already made the payment for that sin.

Standing Together In Worship

So nice I just had to use this one twice! This Cross is my favorite.

Yesterday, after a DCMA Audit of two of my operations I went over to noon prayer at the Chapel. Monday through Thursday the Chapel is opened from 12:00 to 13:00 for anyone to come. This has become a regular routine for me now and I am finding that my prayer walk is strengthening everyday. On some occasions I am there alone and on others Chaplin Johnson is their and we are able to pray together.

Chaplin Johnson grew up in a church that sings Hymns and so he likes to start off prayer with singing from the Hymnal. Yesterday as I walked into the Chapel there he was standing in the front of the room arms spread wide singing to modern worship songs. You have to understand that he is probably 6' 3" so he is big. He also sings well and here he was arms open singing to the Lord.



Without hesitation I walked up and stood to his right and began also to sing in worship to the Lord. We weren't holding back, just free and open. I know that my daughter Anna would have probably asked me to be a little more quiet as I don't sing well but it was good, it was wonderful.


After the first song we just continued to the next. He has brought the Media from home with Him so we were set up with an abundance of songs. We sandg again, he has a way of singing harmonies and praising God during the songs that is great. I would just sing the words, to the best of my ability, and he would rise and fall and speak a prayer. A glorious moment!


About fifteen minutes into this another one of the Chaplins, Ken, came in. Without hesitation he took a spot between the two of us. He also has a good voice and our duet became , whatever three is, a tripet? In any case we sang, we worship our God in song. One after another without ceasing. I had never just sang like this before for so long.


We filled the hour with our worship. At some points one would break into praise while the others continued to sing. It was a powerful time. Not because of the voices or the similarities to the three tenors, but because we stood together in unchained worship. We came together as unashamed men and stood before our Lord to praise Him. We stood without distiction of Military or Civilian and sang our guts out to the One who loves us so much.


We sat at he end, humbly, together before the Lord in prayer. Each one expressing His inner needs and thanks. Each in our own place but together for one purpose.


Make a joyful noise, lift your hearts to Him in Worship. Stand in song to the One who gave so much. Let Him hear your voice, be it in your head with as much strength as you can muster let Him hear you.

The Wind

DHL Tape Cross.

Here in Shindand the wind blows in the same direction everyday. It has not changed since I have arrived. I n the mornings it is just a soft breeze which is very nice. Throughout the day due to the heat increase the thermals begin to rise and the wind picks up force. At dinner time it has become a gail force which will push on you quite considerably. By around midnight, as the temperature has cooled back down, the wind begins to settle again, back to just a breeze.


We have read John 3:8 "The wind blows where it pleases, and you hear its sound, but you don't know where it comes from or where it is going." The Lord has indicated that like the wind we can feel the Spirit but we can not see the Spirit. We feel the effects of the Spirit, the voice within us, or the feeling of guilt in sin, but we do not see this Spirit within us.


The wind here has become a constant reminder to me of John 3:8. It has become the catalyist to allow my mind to think of Him and the Spirit within me. As I walk out in the morning the the wind is soft, my mind easily brought to Him. I pray and think of His glory I can thank Him for what is to come.

In the afternnons the wind blows hard at this time however my day has become more busy, my mind full of the issues at hand and the things that need done. It takes me the extra effort to bring my mind to Him. The wind, thankfully reminds me of that need.

In the evenings I am thoughly full of the world. Things that have occurred based on the events of the day. I am empty and mymind is full of garbage, But there is the wind at its strongest. Rminding me to turn to Him. There is the wind, the Spirit, asking me to give it all up to the One who will make my burdens light, Jesus.

I also relaize from this wind that when it is blowing at its hardest I am taught a lesson of sorts. When the wind blows and you walk with it it pushes you along. There are times when it moves you along quickly. The wind quickens my step makes my path easy. But when I turn on this wind, when I am not moving with it, I must struggle to go forward. I must lean into it as it blows against me. Either way I walk, the Spirit is with me, the Spirit didn't leave me, but I choose to either allow Him to help carry me along or I choose to walk against Him.

Lord lift us all up. Allow our steps to be light under your care. Allow us to look towards you In all that we do. Throughout our day may we give our burdens to you, our cares, and seek you in all things. May we walk along with you and not against you.

May the wind remind you today to praise Him and cast your burdens to Him who cares so deeply for you.

Catherine

Tent Strapping Cross, from inside the Alaska tents.



I am missing my wife Catherine today. Actually I miss her everyday but today I especially thinking about her. She is an amazing woman and without her I would be truly lost, our family would be lost.


She is my gift from God, the one that He determined for me before time began. He wanted us to become one, to know each other and to have the two children He has given us. I am thankful for His descison, He knew what He was doing.


Caherine I love you. I love you so dearly. My heart aches for you this morning. My mind thinking of everything about you. I can feel you near me, even so far. I hear your voice in mind, even when we don't speak. I can smell your perfume. You are such a part of me that I have you here, with me, even though we are apart.

I can not put it any other way but that I love you and I miss you.

May we all look across the room at our wives or husbands, those that we love, those that the Lord has given us and be thankful for them. Hug them and hold them and treasure them for the gifts that they are, the Gifts from God.