Seeing my face in the face of another.

We never know the situations that we will be placed in that will test us. As we move through our days, our lives we will avoid situations that will stress us. We will avoid rush hour traffic and leave work later. We will avoid functions at the school or people that we find abrasive so that our peacful lives are not disrupted. In our homes we will engauge in hobbies that avoid family times, or dismiss the children so we can relax by ourselves. Many ways and for many reasons we attempt to eliminate our stress, so that we are ok.

Here, as I have mentioned before there, is little opportunity to avoid stress. The Military tries to relieve stress in Soldiers, they even try to manage stress but avoiding is not usually a viable option for us here. I attempt to manage mine through engauging in Spiritual activities, reading when I can, writing and consistant sleep. But sometimes it just stares you in the face and becomes relentless. What then?

Also at Shindand, the Americans are the only ones who can not drink alcohol. It is served at the Italian DFAC and in the Italian PX's. Last night just after 2000, while watching a DVD of a service from my Church with Chandel our Security gaurd came and informed me that he needed my assitance. Three men, one which was one of mine, had been caught buying beer at the Italian PX. I needed to come and deal with the situation.

The employee was one that I have counceled a few times since I have been here and last week was given a final warning that if he had anymoe problems he would be cleaning toilets or sent home. It was made clear to him and I ahd hoped he would change. As I worked out the details I determined not to send him home and to have him tranfered to clean toilets. It was cut and dry and the discussion was completed very quickly. I returned to my bed around 2130 and went to quickly fell asleep.

Just before midnight I was awoken again by a Supervisor that worked for me and he explained that he had to work some overtime that evening and wanted to let me know. This is a little frustrating as it could have been discussed in the morning, but none the I was awake. I walked then to the rest room and inside was the man who I had earlier had to discipline. He began to explain to me what had happened and I suggested that we go out side to continue. Within a few minutes I determined that the man was drunk.

When asked he admitted to me, that he was and as I asked him to waklk with me to security he began the slow descent into what turned into a long night of in your face confronations as I and the Security gaurd now were responsible to monitior this man and keep him safe. For me now I was tried, and I was faced with a man that was anger and baligerent. As we worked through the situation there were times when we were alone and the verbal attacks became very personal. This man was a Muslim and he knows that I am a Christian so many of the attacks were against my honesty and compassion and te values that I hold true to.

This was stress that I couldn't avoid but unlike the man from last week this was
different. I was seeing the effects of alcohol from the other side. I was dealing with an attack from a man but also thinking of how I must have looked why I was like this. How I must have been viewed by my wife duing our arguments when I was drunk. I tink now of even how my children must have seen this behavior at times, what they must have thought. Now it was in my face. Unlike at home I couldn't avoid it or pass it on I had to maintain myself through it. I was seeing myself in the face of another.

Eventually the man fell asleep in the cot we set up for him and I was able to sleep but only for three hours. Only restlessly at best. This stress, this attack has left me drained and vulnerable. It has stirred in me thought sof my prior life.It brought remorse for my pain and it brought me stress.

Catherine tells me all the time that these become my most trying days. That when I am tired she sees that I handle things differently. That when I am stressed my fuse is shorter, I avoid confrontation less. Catherine also reminds me that these are the times when I must seek the Lord and the proitection of His Word more fully. that I must acknoledge my weakness and give it to Him.

I will be tried today as many of you will be tried by circumstances you can and cannot control. there will be bosses that will be relentless about something, traffic between you and your next appointment. What will we do, what can we do? Both believers and non believers have to figure out how to manage stresses in life. Both need to recognize the signs and the triggers. As believers we can give it to the Lord. We can accept that God is in control of all things and that if we allow Him, he will see us through. He will show us what he wants to learn from the situation and move us in the direction he wants us to go.

When we descide to stay at work an extra few minutes, or to avoid the neighbor, or to ask our kids to leave the room we may be just missing Gods point. We may be avoiding more than stress. We may be missing a chance to change or grow in our Lord.

With that, to my family, I am sorry for the times when I also was drunk and baligerent. I am sorry for the times when I was drunk and agry and aggressive. Catherine, I will say it again now, I am thankful that you had so much strength to look at me when I could not look at myself and continue to love me. To Harrison and Anna, I am sorry for the times that my drinking was more important than you. I am sorry for allowing the stresses in my life to overwhelm me and let alcohol consume me. I love you all.

I pray Lord Jesus, that any who read this, that may need to, see their face in the face of another. That they see themselves, and allow God to lead them. That the avoidance of stress, does not bring the reality of this pain. I pray that we may all be changed by your Words. Amen.