Feeling and Circumstance

I am tired today as I stayed up far to late watching a movie that was recommended to me by a Co Worker. I didn't start the movie until after 9:00 as Abu was braiding me a new braclet as I had broke my old one and had it tied to my wrist with cord. So this morning I am dragging and with this my mind is jumpy and my thoughts are scattered. The strange thing is that again I feel a deep need to reach for Christ.

It is a draw that I am feeling in my heart, one that is causing me to reflect or evaluate myself and my walk at this time. I keep thinking that there is more that I can do. More prayer, more wittness, more something. I also think that this is the wrong feeling, that I am right where I need to be, that it is only because I am tired that my mind is doing this.

Each os us will have things that will cause us to question, to reflect on ourselves, our relationships, our faith. We will have stress that will move our focuss to a finite place away from Him. We will have a spouse or friend that becomes part of the circumstance to the way we feel this day. We will allow these things to test us, sometimes leaving us feeling weak, other times alone.

As I allow circumsatnce and feelings to rule then I can not experience my faith the way that I should. Circumstances and feeling change, as I experience today because of being tired. Because of my lack of sleep my mind is in this slight turmoil, my heart questions. Becasue I watched a movie and did not read my feeling is that I did not give him my all last night. Because I devoted myself to being used by Him but yet I did something other last night I have a little guilt. Feeling and circumstance are ruling my mind.

Our faith is more than that, it is deeper than the thin outer crust of our feelings. Faith is deep and trusted, something we should cling to regardless of our feeling and circumstances, regardless if I slept very little last night. Regardless if I am stresed or not, or think that I did not read enough. My faith should be a stable guidpost in my life that regardless of where I am is an assurance of Jesus Christ in my life. The Strong Tower we can see from a great distance.

So why am I allowing feelings and circumstance overpower my guidpost, overpower my assurance of Christ? Am I weak and unsure? Is my faith just not strong enough to get me through this race? No! It, I believe is the way we learn to endure. It is the catalyst for the Spirit to work in our lives. It gives the opportunities to practice our endurance, to seek our assurance of our faith. We need to have times of struggle or times of weakness so that we can practice turning back to Him. We need to be aware of the things that can lead us astay so that we can stay more focussed on the path the next time.

Without our feelings we would be dead in a sense to ourselves, disconnected from our inner needs. We would not have desire to turn back if we did not feel the strain of our own hearts. Without circumstances we would not have outside influencesto make us choose a path. We would just walk and do things without consiquence, without have in a way cause and effect in our lives.

So in faith I must trust that my Lord Jesus, that the Holy Spirit will use my feelings and circumstance for His benefit. That my life in its entirety has a purpose for Him. That He uses all things for the good and for His Glory, and thus this day also will be used. He is all powerful, and just because Iam in a state that is not perfect He will walk me through this and turn me the way He wants. My life, if dedicated to Him, is directed by Him.

Accept that you will have up and down days, that you will more times than not feel off from what you think is normal. Know that your faith will undergo stretching and strengthening from many areas, internal and external. But also know that your Faith shall be something that will become the beaken of light for you to follow in these times when feelings and circumstance change.