Transition.

The last couple of days have been trieing. Many external things going on that have begun to frustrate me and cuse me, to on occasion just through my hands up. I know that much of this is because I am getting closer to the end of this and I am not looking at things past that point, for here. This is not good!

My duty is to maintain the standards and focus that I have had over the last year and assure that they carry through after I am gone. See the similarity to Jesus Christ? To equip the people here to continue along and improve after my last day. But what looks like what will happen is that the people that will take over will fall back to doing things as if it was before I even came. That is similar to many after Jesus death. As a matter of fact the Disciples went back to fishing for a while.

Anyway, the Supervisor continue sto say, after you leave Mike, we not going to do this or that they way you did it. He is a firm believer in unless you get something you don't give anything. Forget about it being the right thing to do or not. This has been a consistant friction point in our relationship since I have been here. Now the friction will be gone as the Rock will be leaving. He will, and I see it coming, have free reign over such things.

My replacement is very compitant in the way things should be running, rules and regulations, but each time he is presented with something outside of that he is differing it back to others. He is similar to the Pharisees, very technical about everything without taking responsibility. I have offered several sugestions on a go forward basis yet they basically fall on deaf ears.

Unlike Christ who just continued on a focussed walk right up to the end, I keep turning my head a bit here and there and looking for a different goal then the one that is immediately at hand. So in essence for the layman that I am, we are asked, if we are a slave, to be the best slave we can be. Me, at this point am not, and I am turning my light on and off to boot!

I guess the main theme here is that I am now looking very forward to returning home, coming back together with my family and friends, Discipleship and small groups, school and everything else that will come with that and that is making this difficult. I have come a long way here, many changes, seen so many things that I would have never seen before. I have become strong, much, with the Lord and my faith in God and His leading but home is now such a definate and here is fading away.

I know I have to get past this and finish strong. It is on me, all of it. I can be excited for home, for a new start, but I can not just stop carring about this place, it is not right. I am turning this back to Him, I need his strength, His help. I need this to help me persevere, to endure. I wonder if that is what Paul was taliking about! He was having oginizational and transitional challenges,, each church had to stand on its own when he left. He probably was always thinking ahead of the next thing. In Gods hands and my prayers it will work out.

Lord, I can do all things in you who strengthens me. Let me turn this to you for that strength and then the rest is up to me. May I glorify you more and more each day. Amen.