Near To God

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded."
James 4:8

As you all have probably read over the last couple of weeks I have struggled on several occasions with the transfer of the Department over to my replacement.  He and I have struggled seeing eye to eye and it has caused several issues between us.  Catherine, very appropriately pointed out, that my pride was a large part of the issues that were occurring.  That I would have to overcome this pride or nothing would get any better.

You see, I know that it is up to me regardless of what my counterpart is like.  I am the one that should be the example and be a wittness to Jesus Christ in my life in all circumstances.  When I fail to maintain my composure or to demonstrate grace and forgivness then I fail the Lords command of Love that he left us.  Yes, I am human, but I also know better and that is where the personal condemnation comes in.  Mike, you know better!  Do the right thing and trust Him with this.

What is even worse on this is that I was not doing anything to change.  I was hanging out and allowing things to remain as they were.  I stood in the counsel of mockers.  I became the opposite of what I should have been and accepted it as ok.  I know at that point satan could sit back and smile as I was not walking with the Spirit and so became inaffective to the Him.  I was for all intensive purposes in the world.

"Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded."  So once I finally opened my ears enough to listen to Catherine, and accept that I was in the wrong place I was able to begin to move back where I should have been all along.  Recognizing the sin is one thing but repenting is another, and the catalyst to the change.  I had to reach into my heart and take the feelings that I was having and replace them with new ones, ones of the Lord.  I had to get out of this worldly myre and into heaven thoughts. 

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Over the past several days I have been very purposfully drawing nearer to Him.  Starting with myself and this repentance and now maintaining in trust that he will see me through.  Each part of this had to occur, I needed to show movement and the breaking of the hardness of my heart.  Nothing would have changed without it.  BVut He is faithful He is near, and as I drew to Him He drew to me.  It is an absolute.

I am doing nicely now.  My mind being renewed I can feel the difference in my Spirit and my soul.  Joy and excitment for home and the next part of the journey is returning and being in fellowship with those here whom I am close to is exciting.  I like this place better.  It is a more comfortable place.  I am glad that that is true, as the old me, the man of a year ago, found more comfort in the pain of this world then the joy of Heaven.

Lord Jesus, I will continue to move to you and I look forward to you being close to me.  Help me to finish strong and be confident in what has been and what is to come.  Amen.