I have looked at the waves. My eyes looked away. Not focussed on Him thinking only of the trouble that surrounds me. I know that He is there, I have been watching Him as He came near, but now I sink, aware of His presence but preoccupied by the turmoil.
To stay only focussed on Jesus Christ is the goal of our walk. This, when done with all of our heart, all of our soul, all of our mind renders the circumstances of our lives meaningless. Our only purpose becomes Hm and we move only in His way and for Him, to be used for His glory.
Sometimes however the circumstance becomes the focus. First our mind is overwhelmed, then the heart fails, then at some point we lose our soul. We feel alone and incomplete. He is there but we just don't want to see Him. This can happen over time or in an instant, either with the same result, light dimmed, darkness, lonliness.
I know what needs to be done, the fight that has to be fought, it is just that I am not prepared, I am demorilized in a way and the fight is not in me. At this point I can only ask for Him to keep me, to hold me up, to wait for me to clear my eyes and stand back in the boat. I am just under the waves but His hand is on mine. I lost focus, but feel His presence.
Pray.
First time in Afghanistan as a civilian contractor under a one year contract. I have been brought here by God and intend to speak the Gospel of Christ however I can.
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