Matthew 10:39

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Matthew 10:39

I have found life again, in a way, my old life.  Every day there is friction between myself and my replacement and in that I find some emotions that, at this ime in my life, seem a little unnatural.  It is odd to say, for me, but it has been so long that I have felt frustration like I have been feeling. 

Robert just said to me, "leave it in Gods hands, He knows where you are and where you have come from." Now the context of his statement was in regards to my sore back but for this it also is valid.  Here I look at myself and beat myself up, when in reality I only should give it to God.  He will, and does know all, and will ultimately judge everything.  But I know that what I am going through, can be, and should be overcome by my faith.

I will tell you straight out that the last few weeks I have struggled through the days, in a worldly sense, because I am focussed more on the problems and this friction then I am on the Lord.  When I am focussed on Him, even though the situations may be stressful, I am able to remain at peace knowing that everything will be alright.  That I am in his hands and He will help see me through.  There is a very definate difference between when I am trying to do things and when I am allowing the Lord to control things.

So in Matthew 10 Jesus is speaking about those that remain in the world, thier life, and those who descided to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.  Only through giving up all the worldly things of who you are now and completely following Christ can you fully see the Life that He offers.  If we stand with one foot in this world and one with Christ we will never see His full glory.  Through our walk, through all circumstance, we must devote everything to Him, even our pride.  As Jesus says, you must lose your life.

I long in my soul to have this tottal devotion.  To give Him every piece of myself so that even in such a simple thing such as relinquishing the control of this department would be given to Him first.  That I could come to a place where all of my thoughts would be to Him and for Him.  I want to trust and love Him completely but have yet found the eternal strength to remain in all things there.  I know the joy that is present when I am and also the feeling when I am not.

To lose my life, have completenss in Him so that I gain the new life that He offers.  Simple devotion to Him, trust in Hios word.  Allowing Him to guide me.  To apply His word and His actions to my life.  When I don't I can feel the evil, the hatered, the stress and anxiety, all of which is of satan.  Through Him I can experience His love, the joy, peace, patients, kindness and self control, even in the face of adversity. 

Lord Jesus, forgive me that I still remain, in some ways in my old life, that I have not yet given to you toattaly as you ask.  You are all that I need, let me set that in my heart, all that I need.  Amen