Turning the Day Around.

Yesterday ended up being crazy for me. It started off very well but slipped away around lunch. It was funny that in the morning I posted how normal things have been, spiritually, physical, emotionally. Everything was just fine.

About a half hour after the post, I had this overwhelming feeling that I had not given my writing my all. That in some way I had failed you, the reader, by not allowing the Spirit to work through me and give you something worthwhile. The message in my head was failure.

This I recogognized as not a good place to be again. I immediately began to walk and speak with God about it. Working thorugh in my head and heart where I was. I knew that the feeling wasn't right and I turned in the right direction.

After returning to my desk I did the next thing that I find helpful for me, I started to write emails to family and close friends. My wife was the first. For her she recieves the most inner thoughts that I have. I call them random emails for her, and she never responds to them formally. In them, I feel as if I am giving testimony to her. Keeping her close to what is going on with me. I believe that over these past few months these emails have served to keep us close as husband and wife.

The next email was to my accountability group. A open email to all of the men which I laid out to them some of the things I needed them to be in prayer for and to help facilitate our accountability. Again, this also serves as a testimony of sorts and to clear my heart of some of the garbage.

The last two emails were tpo my children. Just things I think about for each one of them, encouragement and expressions of love. When you conduct parental rights over the phone you miss out on the physical aspects of it. It is hard to hug your children from so far away so every now and then I have to write my hugs out in words. I also trry to say important things in case I don't have another chance. I want my last thought stto them to be positive and memorable.

At lunch I descided that the best thing to do would be to fellowship with friends so I set myself to go to the Chapel and sit with Richard. Just before leaving Rosvund, my new Logistics Coordinator, came to speak with me. As we talked I mentioned that I was going to the Chapel and he asked if he could come with me. Sure, why not, thinking that God was giving me opportunity. He wanted to see what it was like.

Within a minute or two Rosvund stated that he had heard me say to somebody that I was Christian, not Catholic. He explained that he to was a Christian, and Catholic Orthodox Christian and he was wondering why I made the distiction. As we walked I began to speak about Constantine and the Roman Empirer. Then I moved into Luther and the Reformation. Grace by faith verses works. This conversation brought us to the Chapel where Richard was just opening the door.

We all sat for a while and the conversation continued as to the differences and similarities to our faiths. All the while it was nice and reassuring. In a big way this was what my heart needed, and opportunity to share and share openly with others. This is Discipleship and wittness and I believe that when you are in the midst of this and the Spirit is leading the conversation it is just wonderful.

In the end, as Rosvund was going to get lunch, I told them both about my day. how it had started of ok but just before lunch I felt off, that I was having a little attck and I needed to work through the isssues. With this I had started off by confessing and opening up my heart to those that were close to me. I poured out to them as trusted friends. Then I descided to go and have some Discipleship and fellowship and without warning Rosvund came up and then came along having a great conversation of faith with him to boot. All of this I explained was a gift from God as I walked in faithfulness to Him. Nothing huge but a gift to help uplift me.

I thanked them both and then Rosvund left. Richard and I were able to speak for a while and had again a good conversation like we had had in the past. He is actually getting ready to leave in March along with the rest of the Unit, Chaplin Johnson included so our time is becoming limited. We finished up lunch time and said our so longs.

The day turned around, it became very busy and it was very triing on me. The best laid plans for my part of the move from the West Side fell apart. Through it I worked however and by 930 last night had accomplished a lot of the move that I needed to get done. It was rewarding but wearing. I am glad however that I had shed the garbage and turned to God. I was able to stay focussed and do what I do, solve issues and move things. I am thankful to Him that I was able also to see blessing that he had. Also glad that I stuck it to Statn a bit.

Lord, thank you for the guiding hand that you offer all of us. We can either choose to follow it, looking towards you, or not. We can walk in our garbage or get rid of it appropriately. May we all, Follow you.