James 5:16

I can not be a hypocrat! I continue to work things out in my life that I struggle with, as all men do and I believe in the truth of the Gospel and the power of the Holy Spirit working in my life. I also believe that I am to be poured out and therefore through me others may find the same truth that I know. What this means is that sometimes I lay myself bare so that others may benefit, believing in my heart that it will be worked for the good by God. In these writings so often I speak of the blessings that I see on a day to day basis. I speak of the way the Word of God impacts me in my life. I sometimes even discuss the hardships of being here, "the ache" that I feel. But knowing that so many read this Blog sometimes causes me to skirt some of the issues that are deep withing me. I may do that today but my initial intention is to discuss a struggle so that satan can not cause it to be a stumbling block to me, and so that I remain honest in my walk. I pray in advance for the right words and that this be used by God and for the benefit of others. James 5:16 states "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." If there are any righteous men out there please kepp me in your prayers. Anyway, if you are a Christian man you have probably heard tof the book "Every Mans Battle." Now I have never read this book but I know what the subject matter is and that is the reference point for this blog. Further detail is unnecessary. This battle has been a struggle of mine for years. Circumstances of my life I believe have conditioned me to this, and to this day the battle remians. It is so often mentioned in my blogs as the thorn that I have that I never seem to get rid of. It can go unnoticed for so long and then become a festering sore, that I just can't move past. Some days I agonize over my descisions and many times become self condeming in my failures to control what should be easily controled. This obviously is a subject that is difficult to discuss. It is embarassing and in some ways private but is that is the very reason why I am writing. In there lies, as I said earlier, where satan can do his dirty work. Sin, any sin, is caused by man falling short in his life of the glory of God. We place something in our lives that we hold more valuable then His fellowship. Paul states quiet truthfully in Romans 3:23 " for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." If not in the way I now speak but in some way, all men fall short. In order to combat this, to glorify God, to remove the idea of embarrassment, I lay this out there for all. Being away, has created difficulty in this area. I have my accountabilty group back home, and we have spoken of the subject but to there point it is difficult for them to hold me accountable so far away. It is even more difficult for them to hold me accountable, when my fear holds the information back from them. So many times I long that the subject be brought up and then that fear and embarassment sneaks in and keeps me quiet. Relief is the best way to describe it when the hour passes and the confession is not made. Is this not the eart of others. Don't we know the right thing to do and fail to do it? Is that not unrighteousness and therefore more sin? I have also, very openly discussed this with my wife, controlling desires and thoughts multiplied by lonliness. It would be for other men the excuse to be unfaithful or to visit strip clubs and such. For me, as part of my attempt to combat this, brought this to the one person that it effects more then me. It if left unchecked, even if left only in the accountability group, can create division in the relationship with my wife. A secret, an embarassment, mistrust. I chose not to allow that when I first told her, I knew that it would be a blow to satan. So she prays for me now, she helps me move past the thoughts, when I chose to bring it to her. So now in following with James 5:16, I confess to the broader population of my readers. I do this now, and I feel the sting of satan lesson in this. I confess this struggle, of every man, that seems never to tottaly leave me. I chose to place it out to those that will see it and who will pray, and not condem as they understand ththe purpose. For those who may not, it is because more then my own self presservation here in this world, I chose to glorify God. I know this to be a struggle and because of that I know that I must lay it at the feet of my Savior and ask that His grace abound. I know that ultimately he works all things for he good for those who love Him, and in some way that will occur from this. I also understand that there is no cheap grace and that I can not just simple brush this off. That my discipleship to Jesus Christ is not always as easy as forgetting about sin, or acting as if some sin is less deadly than others. I understand that Christ suffered for this as He did for any other sin in this world, and therefore it means He suffered every time I fail. I am a Christian and that means something. I can not and will not allow sin to remain, and then walk in this world as a light to others. Through this open testimony I have taken a step in faith, I have created movement which I now trust in Gods hands. Lord Jesus, may, in the way you only know, these words be used to your glory. May I also be released by this burdon, satans bond be broken, and walk in freedom from today on. I rebuke any further power and purpose that satan may have in this area of my life and am set free by this testimony. Amen