Comfort and Peace

Since my return from R&R I have been really enjoying myself. The last time I came back I was in real turmoil for a while as all I could think about was not wanting to be here and returning home. You see, R&R reminds you of the things you love, I have said this before and there is difficulty in leaving the things that you love. At least there should be. This time however, after a short period of time I have fallen into a comfort zone that, like I said above, I am enjoying.

I think that one of the main things is that I am in the last third of this race. The end is in sight and the hard part is over. It is almost the same feeling as when you have a big trip planned for vacation and you are within a week or two of leaving. I know this is further out then that but the feeling is the same. Also, I believe that the words of Brian before I left this time have helped me see this in a different light, "finish strong and complete your task". He said it would be too easy just to coast out of this and come home. Really I see it now as an opportunity to leave this Camp having built something that will last, this in three ways.

First, I have lived as a Christian with these men for nine months. I have wittnessed in my life, my actions and my words to them for nine months. I have sowed tilled the soil, removed the stones, planted the seeds and now I must listen to the Lord and begin to harvest the crop. Not that I will save the multitudes but I know in my heart that I must now speak of the Lord in their lives so they can make a choice not just leave them in the field to wither and die.

Secondly, I can leave a Department here that is strong and able to go on without me. I can build up these men to be able to operate as a unit and have confidence in themselves and their abilities enough not to have to depend on me, or any other Manager, to get the work done. My responsibility is to build up and strengthen them so that they don't miss a beat when I leave. I have been able to build something strong with these men and their work and I want that to last as long as this Camp remains.

Lastly, as the donations of clothing and toiletries continue to come in for "Those That Serve the Troops" I see that this also will need to be strengthened and set up properly so that I can continue to provide necessities to the less fortunate workers here that are serving the Troops along side the American Contractors here. The need won't end and therefore I can not just get up and go without at least providing some way for the need to be met. So that also now is part of the race.

Another factor in play here is that I am one of the "Old Timers" here now. In a world that is measured in six month and one year intervals, things come and go quickly. Most of the Soldiers that I have been here with have gone home, thheir tours completed. Probably nintey percent of the Expats Manager and Supervisors that were at the Camp when I arrived have changed over or gone to another FOB. Now as people arrive, us that have been here a while, have the knowledge of old if I can say it that way. We know the History and progression of things, why things are the way they are.

This whole thing has caused some reflection on my part. I can look back over the entire year and see similar aspects of our Christen walk through the time line of this year and my life. When I first arrived everything was new and exciting. I was scared yet had anticipation for what was to come. I was uncomfortable because of all that I had know had been changed. My station in life and comfort zone had drastically changed so I saw things very differently. As time has gone on I have become acustomed to my surroundings, comfortable where I am at. I have adapted to my life here and what it is. Things aren't as new and exciting as they were before, I know what to expect. My life has settled into a new routine and my mind know it well. Things just move along at a constant pace now and it is as if I have been here for ever. I have found comfort and peace.

Is this not like our Christen walks? Is this not what we do after we come to Christ Jesus? We leap for joy, beam with excitment, learn new things, then settle into a routine of comfort and peace. I know to be careful however as some comfort and peace is not in the Lord, it is detrimental. So I continue to evaluate where this comes from for me, this comfort and peace. The worst thing that could happen is that I become so comfortable that I become useless to the Lord.

Lord Jesus, press me to give my all right up to the end, of this race and my life. I see what I can be and what I don't want to be and sometimes they are very close in their outward apperance. My comfort should be in you and with that I will find joy, if other places only slow death. Be also with those that read this that they will always reflect on where they are. In your precious name, Jesus. Amen.