Luke 22:54-55

"Then seizing Him, they led Him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. But when they kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them."

Luke 22:54-55

Why is it that we want only the good side of the cross? That we only want to be faithful when it is easy and there is only joy to be had? We will walk along with Jesus until difficulties come and then like Peter here we begin to pull back from the Lords side and watch from a distance.

You see so often in new believers, even in myself this was the case, that since we were delivered from our pain, we expect everything to be painless from that point on in our faith. Peter enjoyed the fellowship of the Lord when He was asked to "follow me" from Jesus. He dropped everything and walked along side of his Savior. Here and there there were storms and distress, but things were good for him as he walked along for three years. Everything was new, he was learnig and growing, he was continually in the presence of the Lord.

So much again like me and others as we first walk with the Lord. We see and feel so much of the good. We enjoy the "wow" moments of our faith. We are enthrawled with He who has saved us and we enjoy His hand on our back as we fellowship with Him, as He teaches us of our salvation. But as trouble begins and the and the words "follow me" become more difficult to remember and adhere to we struggle. In this verse we see where Peter draws a line, as Jesus is lead away, arrested, "Peter, followed at a distance".

So much like our lives, we will only stay close, follow closely, when times are good. We however begin to distance ourselves from our fellowship with Christ as those around begin to put pressure on us. We may have opportunity to stand for Him to our neighbor but we chose to remain quiet and watch as Jesus is taken away. Peter at this point, is just watching as Jesus is being taken from Him. We see how he is not willing, as Christ knew he would, to take up the same cup that His Lord was about to.

At the critical point, when Jesus is now standing before His accusers, Peter find the most comfortable place he can, in the midst of those that he had come from, in the courtyard, within earshot, but not standing next to His Lord. He was hiding in essence his faith because it had become uncomfortable to him. Again, like even I have done at times, he wanted to remain inconspicuious as others began to in essence attack Jesus.

The call that Jesus has to all of us is to "follow Him". We do this in our profession as Jesus as Lord and Savior. We do this in our Baptism. We do this as we come to church and fellowship with other believers. But we pull back when we are among non believers. When we are at work, or at the kids soccer games. We afil to remain a Christen, Chris'f followers, when we may be persecuted along side of Him for doing so.

We all, at some point draw a line in the sand as to how far we will actually go in our Faith. We allow those around us to ddetermine how faithful we will be. "This man was with Him" and Peters first denial "Woman I do not know Him". "You are also one of them", Man, I am not!" "Certainly this man was with Him", "Man, I do not know what you are talking about". If these words do not remind you of the occasions when you have not spoken up, then I don't know what will. How many times are we willing to just remian in the courtyard when our heart burns, but is fearful, of standing along side of our Lord?

It is difficult and always will be difficult for us to push past our comfort levels. We will always hit a point that we feel we can not cross. Jesus in the Garden was in this type of contemplation however He rose in faith and obediance to His Father and moved forward to the end. He gave us an example to follow, to the Cross, to maove past obnly the joy that we may encounter and to walk in faith into the pain if necessary. He showed us that if we do, even the brutality of the Cross that he ultimately hung from, was made to the good by God.

The next time you find yourself debating in your head of the next, hard step, in your walk with the Lord, rember Peter sitting by the fire trying to remain hidden. Think about how He had walked for three years in the good times and now in the trying times he became scared and distnces His walk with the Lord. Ask yourself, to rise and be seen. To follow Jesus in truth and faith. To allow yourself to be strengthened by your resolve and accomplish what was previously thought not possible.

Lord, to "follow you" may mean many things at many times. It may be without hazard and full of risk but above all things let us know now that it will always be used for the Glory of God if we persevere and move past ourselves and into your Glory.

For Those That Serve Our Troops

Today, a few photographs of the men who have recieved the generous gifts sent by you back in the States. These men, from all over the world have come here to serve our Troops and make a better life for themselves and their families back home. They make up eighty percent of the workforce and some only make a few dollars an hour.



The toiletries, socks, underware, shirsts, hats and all of the other items that have been sent have gone to those at the Camp that needed them most. Each one, of the over sixty men that recieved items today, were very thankful for what they recieved.



May God Bless all who have contributed to this cause, "For Those That Serve Our Troops".

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of of one of these Brothers or Sisters of mine, you did for me."

Matthew 25:40

To Hug.

I wrote yesterday about touch and the importance of touch in regards to love. I believe that ultimately touch, a hug or a kiss or a warm hand solidifies in our minds that there is another there that our love is applied to and there is a confirmation back at the same time of the others feelings for us.

Love also most be applied to another person to be fully realized. Yes you can love your car or love your dog but those things will not and can not ever return the emotion to you in the way you feel it for another human being. God so loved the world, that He gave His only Begotten Son. Not His only anything else but Son, another person. Even God created man so that man could have relationship with Him, walk with Him and talk with Him. Love is truly realized only when shared with another.

My seperation here, from those that I love so dearly, means that I can not then express my love for them any more then just a word from my mouth or by an action such as a card or an email. These however never reach the level as the touch, as intimacy with your wife, or a cuddle on the couch with your children. Words never replace the unquestionstionable power of our actions. So at seven thousand miles away the best I get is words. The worst I get is the longing for more.

I place this now in relation to God. The seperation that was caused by our sinful fall has placed Him in a position of longing, longing again to have relationship with us. He created us so that we may fellowship with Him, to walk with Him in the garden and yet we chose not to do this, we chose an easy alternative in disobediance to His offer of His Love. As the husand may do to His wife, this has caused the relationship to disolve.

When I came home, Catherine and I hugged for minutes there in the airport. We were able to touch again. We did not stand there and discuss how we loved each other, I did not hand her a letter stateing how I felt. I did not list out all the things that I do that proves my love, I reach my arms out and fully embraced her in a living and true expression of my love. We confirmed through connection what we feel inside.

As I saw those that were close to me I would hug them. As my brothers and sisters in Christ my heart is connected to them in this Love. I care for them deeply and in that must express to them that Love, to have the touch. God also does this for us. God in His longing and expression of His love has given us an opportunity to have the intimate relationship back with Him. It is the wife asking the husband for intimacy after years of neglect. God has given us His only son so that whomever so believes in Him shal have eternal life, relationship with God as was the orginal intenent. But more than this, just acceptance, God asks us to follow His Son, to live as His Son, to have our actions speak as a testiment to our Love so that in turn we experience with God and for God the touch that is so needed.

The Bible explains our lives with out the relationship with God as eternal death, damnation and sin. It is an emptiness that we try to fill with so many other things that can not and will not ever replace the touch of God. As in a dead relationship, ne or both people begin to fill the distance with other things to help satisfy the emptiness, pornography, drinking, another woman all in an attempt to find what is missing and never quite getting what they need. Death, seperation one in the same.

As I hugged and expressed my love for my wife and children I place in my heart that they are connected to me and I to them. As I hugged my Brothers in Christ and expressed my love for them I was connected to them and they to me. As I fully embrace and express my love to Jessus Christ then I am connected to God and He to me. No longer is there the distance, no longer to I look to fill my heart with other things. No longer do I feel the ache because I now feel the other that I love.

If you have not stopped and had a truly genuine expression of love to your spouse or children lately. If you have spent months or years on a couch across the room or with just simple expressions of your love for the other. I you truly love them then please get up and cross the room and give them a hug, give them your touch. If you you do not know the love of God, truly, where you long for His touch, where you ache to know Him more, then begin by asking Jesus Christ to be your saviour. Then begin to whole heartedly follow Christ in your deads and actions and fully expect that you will be in the presence of God. You may just find that sitting across the couch, death, from the one you truly should love has been what has left you empty and longing for more for so many years.

Lord, I pray for anyone who is in death at this time. Death of relationhip with a spouse or child, God. Anyone who is in any type of seperation from those around them that they so easily could love more fully but don't, that they step up and touch, that they accept the gift of love that God has placed within us and express it unconditionally to one another, to Him.

Rest and Relaxation

Here it is the first official post since my return to Afghanistan. I am actually starting to write this this evening as I am trying to relax and prepare for a good night sleep. My last week of travle and change always throughs me off as it is full of emotion and change and that has generally caused me to lose sleep. I do have to say though I am handling this return better then the last and definately better then when I first left home, so I guess practice makes perfect. However this is one thing I do not want to become good at.

So I will start at the beginning of my journey with my arrival home. Everything went very well up to my connection flight out of Washington. Of course the one that is most important, as I am so very close to home I missed. It was mostly my fault as we were late getting in but I did not check the Borad and went to the wrong gate. So three long hours later I was on my final leg home.

The moment that I see my wife, like last time is just so special. Tears from both of us, a long awaited touch of the your spouse is everything you could imagine it to be. We also both cry which then causes us to both chuckle. That moment is probaly the most anticipated moment that I have during all of my time here. A valuable lesson from this, and one that plays it self out time and time again while on R&R is the importance of touch in relation to our love for others.

We went right over to get the kids from school this time as we were late in the day. No surprises in my return either, they were fully aware that I would come home and they wanted us to get them. This is also a special moment, probably more for me then them but again a time for us to come together again and hug and be a whole family, together. The touch of my children almost compare to that of my wife.

My return into the house didn't bring much emotion. Maybe a little strange but it was not awkward and it felt like home to me. The smells and warmth and light were all as I had remembered them to be. Home always feels like home no matter how long you have been away. The dog, was not as surprised to see me as he was last time. He did recognize me more quickly then last time and I think it was because Catherine had told him I was coming. He is smart that way.

The night that I returned home I was able to go watch Harrison play in the youth band at the Church. They, and he are very good and it was nice to finally see him playing live in front of a crowd. That same evening Anna, while playing with the other kids at the Church cut her foot and required thirteen stitches.

The first week was great for us as a family. The kids had off from school and we traveled up to Vermont to Stratton Mountain where Harrison has been snowboarding the last several years. For three days we were able just tospend time together as a family. Nothing overly exciting but just time together which is what the R&R for me is all about. That next weekend we traveled down to New Jersey and saw Catherines sisters. Friday night with Barbra and Saturday with Lisa and her family. Time well spent.

The second week, with the kids back in school was time for Catherine and I to spend time together and get some things done that we needed to do. It also becomes the week that I can really get to see the people of my Church family. They are to me almost as important as my family and I do get just as excited to see them as I do anyone else. I was able to visit a small group that has supported the giving of clothes here to the Foriegn Nationals. Had lunch with Frank my Pastor on Tuesday and Catherine and I went to our own small group Tuesday night.
I was able to have a breakfast and a few more lunches with my Christian Brothers and Thursday night Agape Dinner back at the Church.

Last Friday night and Saturday I was able to spend with the Church mens group at Camp Pinnacle on a retreat. That was a very uplifting time for me being back with all of these guys especially in on a retreat. It was made even nicer by the fact that on Saturday morning my Accountability Group was able to meet together. We had some serious catching up to do and itwas well worth it. The weekend ended with church again on Sunday, the day I was scheduled to leave but didn't due to a snow and ice storm.

Now that I am back I will settle in and get back into the daily routine. Alot has changed here and some things have remained the same. The main goal now is to bolster the Department and then begin to transition myself out and give the reigns over to my replacement. I also have to lift someone up to begin to handle the work of takig care of the men in need. I plan on continuing to send packages and things here long after I leave.

To leave off on this post with something of merit, I guess it should be this. Love must be expressed both physically and verbally. It is an emotion that without someone to recieve it will not ever be experienced at it's fullest. As I saw each person over my R&R, starting with Catherine and all the way through the last Church service, I realized that what I miss most was the touch of those that mean so much to me. Voices are one thing but hugs are quiet another. Don't ever loose that in your relationships.

Good to be back. God bless you all.

Back In Shindand

I returned to Shindand at 1230 today. I have said hello to all of my friends and collegues, eaten and showered. After speaking to my wife in a little while I believe that I will be ready for a good night sleep as I may have had only 15 hours over the last four days.

I am looking forward to begining again tomorrow, Lord willing, with my writing as I have so much to talk about and catch up on. See you then.

Returned to Afghanistan

I have returned from the States and now am back in Kandahar. I should be back to my base in the next day or so and then will be right back into my writing.

Be well all and I will write soon.

I Am Back

Want to let you all know that I have completed my R&R and now am traveling back to Afghanistan. It will take me a few days to get settled back to my writing but I so look forward to filling you in on all that has been happening over the past several weeks.

I had a tremendous time with my family and friends while I was away.